#really love the atmosphere of the first one at least. and its my brother approved which is funny to me specifically.

[infernaltenor]

of course, instead of working on any aus i had already started, i make a new one. this ones owl house inspired because its super easy to change the name and i think its funny.

[terrm9]

The Fourteenth (II.)

I got a request asking if I could share the Pi Day fic here and look, I am totally aware of the fact that I said I am done posting so if you want to call me a hypocrite (I am looking at you, person who keeps sending those awful anons) - go on. I will post it under the cut and I won’t tag anyone, so hopefully it won’t bother anyone all that much.

WC ~ 1200

“Can I make you dinner tonight?” he asked Chiara in the morning, the moment Harper and Tobias left the office. He half-expected her to tease him for being a gentleman even this deep into the relationship, but instead she smiled widely and nodded.

There’s no reason for him to be this nervous. He has given the idea many of his thoughts, he even asked for an advice - all would be well. There was no need to be this nervous.

And things have been going well.

“As if I could say no to your food.”

The day passed calmly and really, there has been no reason for Ethan to be nervous.

He took her home, cooked a dinner – all while feeling her gaze on him, feeling, seeing her smile, a spark in her eyes almost mischievous and she said: “This is my favorite Ethan.”

“The cooking one?” he threw her a glance over his shoulder, the right corner of his mouth twitching in amusement.

“The one with his sleeves rolled up.”

And now he is standing in the entrance of his apartment, Chiara waiting at the dining table and Ethan can only guess, but he thinks her eyebrows are still raised up in an unspoken question – what is going on?

He asked her to wait for him right there and left the apartment to get an apple pie from the trunk of his car.

He is standing by the doorway and he is nervous. Nervous about the gesture he is going to make, nervous about Chiara’s reaction, nervous, nervous, nervous.

Taking his surrounding in, there is another collection of thoughts swirling through his mind all at once and these thoughts do not make him nervous.

They do make him feel many unrequired emotions, though.

It is stupid, the thought crossing his mind – this feels like coming home.

Of course it feels like coming home, of course it does. He has lived at this place for years now.

And yet only now, seeing her small white sneakers put neatly next to his own shoes, her coat hanging on the wall, her smell lingering in the entrance, it feels like home.

Like maybe, perhaps, he has been coming back to an apartment until this moment.

It is stupid, the thought crossing his mind – I am finally coming home.

It is the best thought he has had in a long, long while.

The apple pie in his hand – the best in whole Boston, recommended by Naveen and approved by Marlene - Ethan walks into the dining room.

His guess has been right – Chiara’s eyebrows were still higher than normally, her arms crossed over her chest.

“Hey Chiara,” he cleared his throat as he approached the table and put the pie on it. “Do you know what is Pi’s wife most used complaint? ‘He is irrational and goes on and on.’”

Confusion crosses Chiara’s beautiful features first, but almost immediately she checks her phone for a date and the confusion is replaced by realization.

Chiara has never been the one to school her features, to hide her emotions – and so Ethan can see all of them, all of her thoughts displayed on her face and he thinks there is nothing he would rather stare at.

Surprise and then that small, almost invisible smile that carries more than any of her wide grins. She bites her bottom lip and blinks several times rapidly and Ethan is so damn nervous because is she going to cry? Did he make her sad? Did he cross a line?

“You remembered,” she whispers at last.

“Yes,” Ethan nods and starts cutting the pie, just to give his hands something to do. The atmosphere it not exactly tense, but it’s quiet – at least until Chiara’s snicker cuts through the room, earning a surprised glance from Ethan.

“That joke was terrible,” she keeps on laughing and Ethan can feel his shoulders sag with relief. “I have to send it to mom and Alicia.”

Clearing his throat once again, Ethan speaks, his voice smaller than he’d like.

“I already sent it to them. I asked Lahela for an advice and he thought it was a good idea and I know he knows your family rather well, so I trusted him that he knows what he is saying,” he is speaking fast, words slightly slurred and it’s obvious that he is nervous, he can say that much, but letting the explanation out of his system is more important at the moment.

“I am not trying to replace your father or your brother, Chiara, please, I would never dare to think such a thing, I just wanted to maybe bring this tradition of yours back and-“

He is stopped by Chiara’s soft, small hands on his cheeks – when did she even get to him? – and quickly, she is pulling him down, closer to her until her lips, as soft as her hands (everything about her is soft, her skin and her hair and all the places he has touched – soft, soft, soft), are on his and he forgets what he wanted to say altogether.

She moves her lips gently but with a goal, biting his lower lip – gentle at that, too – until his lips are parted and she can kiss him deeper, better, with more passion and all the love she has to give.

When Chiara breaks the kiss, Ethan is breathing heavily, but her hands do not leave his cheeks. The thumb of her right hand caress his cheekbone with such care it makes his heart swell beneath the ribcage and her left hand finds its refuge in the subtle waves on the nape of his neck.

“Everything about this is perfect,” she whispers as she stands on her toes to place a lingering kiss on a corner of his mouth again, following the path to his nose and finally kissing the cheekbone she is not holding.

“Thank you,” she looks up at him and it’s simple thank you, a phrase used many times through the day, by many people, the phrase that barely carries any real meaning.

Looking into her emerald irises, her pupils so wide he almost catches a glimpse of himself in them, cheeks rosy and smile affectionate, with her hand still tangled in his hair, Ethan knows, feels, that this thank you carries more meaning than he could have hoped for.

He feels as if the universe – his universe, at least – was expanding by the gaze Chiara gifts him, as if he could drown in the ocean of emotions she is showing him (Thank you. I trust you. I see you and I believe in you. I am proud of you and I know you are of me. I love you, I love you, I love you.) and he has never given much of his thoughts to the way he’d die but at this moment Ethan knows that drowning in Chiara would be the most prodigious way to go.

[blue-bird-kny]

Physical Affection: Prompt 16 Kissing Knuckles

You all have spoken and here he is! Finally some Genya on this blog, I hope I did him justice~Amanda

Warning: Swears, Angsty and Fluffy kinda shit, Spoiler Warning!

( 1.2K words)

No matter how much time passed, Genya still was a little hesitant around you, hiding himself away in his training far from where you could find him. Not because he didn’t trust you, there wasn’t a living human he felt more comfortable with, but because he hated watching you worry. Only once had you trained with him (after a lot of begging) and it didn’t go well. He hated how your pained eyes watched  as his spent body pushed itself past a point that even he knew was dangerous, watched the anguish he was causing you. That was the only time you’d ever fought so intensely with one another, a screaming match lasted for more than just a that night and had the potential to end your relationship had you not loved each other so much- it was definitely a rough patch to get through. You couldn’t understand why he sacrificed so much of himself, why he couldn’t just be a little selfish so as to rest. Genya couldn’t allow himself to stop though, not for his sake or for yours; he’d do anything for you, including protecting you with his life and that required him to be strong. Now, after he disappears without a word before you wake and returns sweaty and exhausted, all you say is “How was training?” receiving only a curt nod as a reply every time.

You wandered the corridors all afternoon, peaking your head into random rooms from time to time in search of a certain Shinazugawa. You knew Genya had training this morning, but it was almost sunset and still you hadn’t seen him. “Where the hell are you?” your thoughts swirled with a mix of frustration and panic, he was never out this late and at the very least he’d have eaten lunch with you and the others. Consumed by the scenarios playing in your head, you ran flat against a hard pillar that towered over you- the pillar being your dear brother-in-law. “Ah Sanemi! I’m so sorry!” you apologized, quickly bowing over and over again. Genya may not voice it, but you know how much his brother means to him and because of this, you’ve always tried to gain his approval or any sliver of acceptance from the Hashira. Yet as you stare up at his menacing glare, you are reminded that Sanemi was an even harder wall to crack than his younger brother. 

“Oi! Stop apologizing, brat! It's obnoxious” he complained, halting your movement. “What’s got you in such a hurry anyways, need to take piss or something?” he scowled as his large amrs folded in front of his chest, “No actually I was looking for Genya...have you seen him?” you doubted he actually knew but you were desperate at this point. “That brat? Yea I heard he’s been holed up the training room at the other end of the estate” his response was nonchalant but it was music to your ears. “Thank you!” you moved to rush over when Sanemi’s palm gripped the top of your skull. “Wait a second! Shit it’s not like he’s dying”  he grumbled with a solid, painless grip on your hair. ‘Go easy on the kid, he...he needs you around. You’re all he really has.” his eyes never reached yours but the slight pink on his cheeks brought a smile to your lips. “Don’t get the wrong idea though, if you ever tell him I said that I’ll carve your tongue out, damn it!” he wiggled you around like a rag doll before releasing your tresses, leaving without another word. “What a softy”

Loud grunts from the other side of the wooden doors filled your ears as you reached the room, your arms immediately reaching to slide them open. Your orbs widened as they fell on Genya, fist bloody and purple, wreaking havoc upon a wooden dummy and, if the mess is anything to judge by, it wasn’t the first one he’d hit. A booming crack rang throughout the room as wooden shreds scattered about, falling like wooden flakes. Out of the corner of your eye you caught Genya reaching for another dummy, “Genya stop!” you yelled, throwing yourself between him and the dummy, his fist halting centimeters from pummeling your face. “No one called you here shitty women '' he protested without lowering his arm, his gaze boring into your eyes. “What the hell are you doing?! Genya I get you want to work hard and I can’t change that, but you’re hurting yourself! This isn’t healthy” you pleaded, “please just listen to me” you held his fist, not carrying that his blood was staining the clothes you wore. “I don’t fucking get it” he started sourly, allowing you to hold his hands, “no matter what I fucking do, how hard I train, I still can’t compare to those jackasses with their breathing techniques. Compared to them I look like a weak idiot” he seethed. You lifted his chin speaking softly, “Genya you don’t have to be like them to be strong, you’re the only person who can do what you can. I wouldn’t want anyone else at my side protecting me because I believe in you Genya, one hundred percent I believe in you with everything I have”

You were quick to catch the stray tear that fell down his cheek, “This sucks” he chokes, “Sometimes life feels like it does, but things always get better”. “Lets go get those hands bandaged and you in a bath, you smell” the fingers pinching your nose distorted your voice a little, but it was enough to make Genya blush, “Shut up!”

The steam rolled off the water filling the room in its delicious warmth, “You should get in while the water is still hot” you urged grabbing the shampoo and a fluffy towel, placing them at the edge of the bath. Genya watched you expectantly as if waiting for you to do something, “What?” you questioned. Genya’s cheeks blazed red, his eyes not reaching yours as he stuttered, “Turn around if you want me to get into the water, dumbass”. You stared for a moment before turning around, “But I’ve seen you naked more than once” you laughed. Some seconds passed before you heard the plop of Genya’s body submerging itself into the warm water, “Done” he gurgled from underneath. “I’m not a kid Y/n, I can bathe myself” he squirmed as you squeezed the bottle of shampoo into your palm, “Yea but everyone should be spoiled every once in a while”.  You took your time scrubbing his dark curls and rubbing the soap into the shaved sides, the slight brush of your nails over his scalp had Genya almost moaning in content. A warm silence took over the atmosphere, only the splash of water could be heard as you rinsed the suds from his skin and scalp.

“Let me see them” you whispered cooly, disrupting the still air. Genya’s heavy lids fluttered open to find you now next to the tub, the medical kit open on your lap. Shyly, Genya placed his abused fist in your care, wincing every so often when you dabbed the scabs with antiseptic. “You don’t have to tell me everything all the time,” you started, peppering soothing kisses to each freshly bandaged knuckle, “but I’ll be right here” you cupped his calloused palms with your own, offering a gentle smile and kind eyes as if saying “I love you”.  

You waited patiently in bed for Genya to finish and dress, cozy in your own pair of fleece pajamas. You felt someone slither in beside you, cautiously pulling you against their chest. Limbs tangled together, you both fell into a peaceful sleep, lulled away by Genya’s unwavering heartbeat and your even breathing.

Main Masterlist 

[rosyk]

Deja vu

pairing: bang chan x reader, (a bit of han jisung x reader)

genre: heavy angst, passion, romance, one-sided love, bestfriends, long distance relationship

warnings: light curses, death, depression, mentions of alcohol and drugs, family problems, mentions of forced sexual activity, insecurities, anxiety, etc. (Its quite detailed in the first part and could trigger some people in these type and if you are one of them, I advice you not to read. It can really be uncomfortable on the first part)

word count: 11.5k

inspiration: Before We Knew It ch. 36-38 (webtoon), White Flowers- Olivia Rodrigo (unreleased song)

a/n: This is the least fic I loved but I had to continue it to start a new one and i won’t ever write things as long as this (it’s hard) lol. I don’t know who’ll ever read this long and cringey story but I hope it’s worth your time (?)

1

  If I were to describe a man I’d love to marry someday, it would be someone tall, doesn’t openly show their true feelings towards me, and leads me in life. However, you were the exact opposite of it.

I didn’t even know when and why I fell in love with you. Was it at first sight? No. Was it because someone told me about my indistinguishable feelings for you? No. It was like how love was portrayed in novels and books. I just knew it. Instead of leading my life, you made me, myself, want to lead and search for my future. After you happily talked about your passion for music, you made me feel as if you were the right one. It made me think, “Maybe I do want to be with him until the end of life”. I believe something great would occur and I want to be there when that happens. When the music he produces, raps he created, genres he invented, and when his voice reaches the world, I want to be on his side and be proud I was able to witness all of that. You were everything in times I was the “nothing”.

I truly wished to be a singer right from the start. My dream was unaccepted by my family because the job isn’t as stable as it seems. I had to study medicine since then. Therefore seeing you was like seeing how I could’ve been. I stopped my passion but you made me pursue the unpursued, break off the imaginary limits I had created in my mind. I developed a fear of having to try again. I never sang after years and tried to let go of my past. But you? You lifted me away from the cage of darkness I trapped myself in. My anxiety was too deep to the point I was afraid of people, nightmares, thoughts, happiness, living, being alone, home, and simply just everything.

Even I was scared of myself.

  Then I knew this is the worst a person could be. It isn’t when someone takes drugs, drinks alcohol, or flees away from home. It is when he or she no longer wants to take a step forward. I was frightened by the idea of love but also the idea of being alone. I was terrified to open up when the people closest to me never understood but was scared when I keep everything to myself too much up until I’m tired. I feared death the most, how much more if I was living? I remember cutting myself in bed when I overheard my parents fighting because of my presence. I was shaking, desperately trying to suppress my weeping. Was I sad because I didn’t have good childhood memories I could reminisce? Or was I happy for myself because that was the bravest thing I did? I was too young to understand what I truly felt but I didn’t regret a single thing.

I know the difference between wrong and right but why can’t I tell when it comes to situations that involve me? Is it wrong to think it would’ve been best if I was sleeping forever, in a depth of endless time even though I know I should live for a purpose I couldn’t find or for people who don’t care? But is it also right to live and hope miserably someone out there would find and help me even though it means staying and coping with the pain? Whenever I make a decision, I could hear trapped voices rambling in my head, time ticking as fast as my heartbeat, my soul pressuring me, and my mind that creates negative scenarios which cause me to step back before even having the chance to run. In general, I’ve had to overthink my overthinking.

I also have the habit of blaming myself. As deeper as it goes, it became my lifestyle then. I blamed myself for playing the victim as if I was the only one hurting amidst the world. I blamed myself for crying when I had no right because I gave people terrible occurrences.  I blamed myself for the inability to be brave and commit what I feared the most. I also blamed myself for silently not crying loud enough to the point that my facade turned out stronger.

Looking back, I was a total mess in which I couldn’t even call myself human. My only best friends were the mirror and my own shadow. I was 10 so I appreciated how the mirror felt the same feelings as mine. It doesn’t laugh when I cry even though the creatures surrounding me do. But for the same reason, I hated it. It reflects my despair, how horrible I looked causing me to despise it the most. My shadow on the other hand makes me feel I’m not alone at the end of the day. But I also despised it the moment my mom locked me up in my room, isolating me in darkness to forget all the traumas I had given her. Because even the shadow disappears in my darkest hours. And just like friends, it all just ended. I no longer want to feel love if love was meant to hurt.

  Years of living in hell passed by, until you came.

“You okay?”

  I was crying at the staircase in the nearest tunnel found at school. I was a 16-year-old who tried to break away from my dad’s drunken behavior. Running away was another brave thing I did but it was because the thought of him doing me was scary enough.

It was embarrassing to let you see me like this but surprise was the first reaction I had. No one ever dared to approach me because of my low status and the suspicious silence that I give. Questions filled my head as to why you bothered talking to me. Were the rumors unbelievable enough?

“I am new here but I haven’t seen you a lot in school. Are you the same as I am?”

So he’s a transferee. Honestly speaking, I was discouraged. It’s clear that he would slowly stop approaching me as soon as he knew the rumors. You introduced yourself and asked for my name. I gave you a silent treatment causing you to face my direction. We stared at each other for minutes. You finally gave up and sat beside me as I turned my gaze back at the people playing in the park, sighing heavily.

“Would you like to hear my life?” You look at me, expecting something. I turned back at you, both eyebrows raised. You showed your smile, with those little cute dimples on each side to get away from the awkward atmosphere. Trust me when I tell you that was the brightest thing I’ve ever seen in my whole life. Maybe you did show me the colors I didn’t know I needed in my life.

“Oh… I guess you don’t then? I mean why would you be interested right?” You laughed yourself off but as usual, expected some remarks from me. My eyes panicked as I shook my head quickly from side to side. My eyebrows creased as I bit my lip, hoping you understood what I meant.

“So you do want to hear it?” I shook my head up and down as an approval of your question. Unnoticeably, it was the first time I felt eager especially when it comes to humans.

“Isn’t it annoying though?” I got the hint you wanted to tease me considering your giggles but I was too caught up in assumptions that you wouldn’t continue your storytelling. Thus, I did the same thing, turning my head from side to side, trying to convince you that I desperately want to know what happens in the lives of some.

“Cute” you mumbled to yourself but I was able to hear the word that came out from you. You patted my head casually as you started to talk about your life. I grew slightly embarrassed, curling myself, holding my knees, and acted as if I didn’t hear anything.

You were transparently open in talking to the point that I finally knew what “precious” actually meant. Although it was for a moment I knew it would stop soon, you definitely saved me from all I felt.

There I knew how our lives were exact opposites. If I felt everything, the happiness, and sadness, contrasting feelings I couldn’t comprehend, you on the other hand felt nothing. As soon as your dearest brother got into an accident, you didn’t know what to do. If I had abusive and malicious parents, you had no one to be with. I couldn’t even imagine what would happen If I lived your life.

I knew I was bad for thinking of such a way but I took advantage of your life. It made me feel relieved that there were people who faced the worst monsters than I have inside me. It made me look at the positive side of mines.

Much especially when I didn’t expect it would be you. My first impression of you was this carefree pure guy who had no problems in living his life. Little did I know, you were waking up feeling nothing, smiling with no joy, cries without letting out the pain, and laughs despite the numbness and burden that weighs in your heart. I guess we can’t judge people by the way they appear. We never know how much tears they’ve shed every night.

You summarized and wrapped things up. You asked for my name one last time before leaving. But there I was, hung my head low and sniffles could be heard. You looked in confusion as I tried to cover my face. A surprise was evident in your reaction and it was obvious due to your stuttering. You tried to ask what happened but instead hugged me unconsciously.

That was the first time I’ve ever felt warmth. I was born a mistake so even my parents couldn’t give me this kind of comfort. I cried worse as I had thought of it. The idea of a stranger giving me a better meaning of how home felt like than a family does, who wouldn’t tear up after that?

I don’t want to be ahead of time. But hope filled my mind. Maybe I could find more people like him. Maybe someone out there could notice my emotions. Maybe someone could act as my light. Maybe someone does care about my wellbeing. Out of a huge percentage of people living on Earth, there should be one who could at least meet and save me right? I know I settled in all “maybes” but it was much better than having none.

2

  Recalling the series of events, I was a total problem. Yet you were always there for me no matter how heavy of a burden I am. You were the one who believed in me when I couldn’t, picked me up when I was drowning in a wave of traumas and worries, and lightened my deep void. You were my first and swore you’ll be my last, who broke my past and created my unknown beginning. I hated risks but whenever you are involved, I for sure know it is worth it no matter how many needles it may pain me. It had been years before noticing how much you mean to me I may be late, but would never get tired of this. I will listen and enjoy our memories until the end. You will, for eternal love, be my last song in my only playlist.

Although it’s true we never believed in love since the beginning. But all we do know is that we’d like to spend our whole lives together. It’s as if we were bound by the heavens to meet and help one another. With all that’s happening, I would like to assume that this is love people were talking about. Who knew it could be this powerful to change someone?

  [CHAN’S POV]

  And what happened to the “messy innocent girl who was stained by reality?” She became an unrecognizable teen, as pure as ever. In the past, I wasn’t able to feel the emotions most do but look at me now, smiling every time I see you do. Even though I’ve never felt heavy feelings, these light ones are taking a toll on me whenever you call my name.

We had arguments but never had any misunderstandings. This is all because no matter what I say, you are always by my side. I could tell you day by day how much you mean the world to me, my downfalls, and everything unnecessary but you’d still listen to it with no regrets.

Right now, we’re meeting up for a “little date” as you mentioned. I was going to decline because there had been many requirements in class but you seemed too interested that I didn’t want to break it to you.

I was wearing my usual hoodie sweater with baggy pants and ordered for both of us. After all, you would always choose chocolate whipped shakes over anything. You seemed to take too long so I decided to work on some demands given. I turned on my laptop and opened the application as I placed the headphones on my ear, silencing the noise in my surroundings.

Now all I can hear is my heartbeat pounding and swallowing as my throat started to dry. The loading symbol appeared on my screen and I hoped it would stay like that forever. I hoped it would crash and tried to find more excuses for me not to use it.

I was consistently looking at the time shown on the panel below the main screen. The blue circular sign still turns and turns as I see it from my peripheral vision. 3:31, 3:32, 3:33, the minutes kept moving and hands that are now shaking because I assumed this would be the worst nightmare that could happen. But no, cause “worst nightmare” is an understatement when we are referring to this. It would’ve been better as a nightmare because I could wake up from this traumatic moment. I was focused on my screen that I hadn’t noticed the calling in my front.

“Channie?... Chris?.... Christopher?... Mr.Bang Chan?.. Chan!”

  [Y/N’S POV]

  He finally noticed me as soon as I tapped on his shoulders. He flinched and looked at me in horror. It creeped me out but it took seconds before he could pull his eyes away from mine. He bit his lips and I noticed him covering his hands. The staff called out a number which I believe was from our table considering the way he closed his laptop.

“I’m getting that” You forced a little smile as you made way to the counter

I smiled at the thought of our “date” but seeing you sweating and nervously fidgeting your fingers to avoid them from shaking bothers me. Did something happen before you came? Why was he that nervous? Thoughts bombarded my mind, but you coming back with my favorite drink and snacks, looking all-smiley, tells me as if you noticed my discomfort so you tried cheering me up. You sat down in front of me and got rid of your problems. As usual, this guy notices even the littlest gestures I make.

“Did you wait too long?” I asked you with enthusiasm because our little date has now started. The idea non-stop makes my whole day

“No, I just arrived before you did.” You respond with a genuine smile despite the clear lie you just gave. You stroked my hair as you looked at me lovingly

“Oh, I just passed by that bakery we talked about a year ago…..” I started chatting about our fond memories that remain vivid in my head.

It took several hours of talking and enjoying our time together. We also watched that Philippine movie starring two exes who broke up and lived in one house, but being an emotional wreck, it took 30 mins of you trying to comfort me as I cry ugly. Of course, you didn’t miss an opportunity to laugh at me and even took a video. Teasing me and showing my picture as your wallpaper, made me playfully angry.

We also enjoyed visiting the same tunnel where we met. The nostalgia is present. The moon is shining and I can’t help but smile looking at you.

  [CHANS POV]

  You look beautiful under the moon if I must say. I wanted to show the magnificent view because it reminds me of you whenever I see it up above. You were my only light when my days in the past were too dark.

We continued strolling around, counting the streetlights that passed by and talked about a lot of things. Until you decided to speak up-

“About…. the thing that happened earlier?” You looked up to me, but your eyes soon started moving away from mines. You were held on with the anxiety of trying to speak up whenever it had come to my personal life. I don’t know whether it was the trauma you’ve stumbled upon when you asked about my father or it’s just due to your manners. Nonetheless, if it was indeed your trauma, I’ve felt guilty about it and wanted to reassure you I won’t hurt you ever again. “But if you don’t want to talk about it-“ I cut your sentence off.

“My father was a musician..” your eyes shined with glee in my response

“That’s cool!” You exclaimed but it soon faded into a frown after hearing me sigh. Tilting your head, you tried to calculate everything that’s wrong with it. I nervously fidgeted with my hands and knuckles, contemplating a decision that could change and even affect both of us.

“Everything’s wrong... He was into it, music took his mindset and life” I faced my head sideways and gulped without looking at your eye. The trauma, I’m finally telling my pent-up feelings after a lifetime keeping it to myself.

“He was so into composing music and started to forget about the reason he had started to do it. And by that-“ you cut off my sentence and started to nod a few times, pressing your lips together. You pointed your shaky finger at me and spoke softly.

“I think I know where this is going.” You looked at me in disbelief but all I could do is look at you with concern and guilt, asking for forgiveness. “Is this why you didn’t want to love again even after all these years?” Your eyes that shined stars a moment ago, turned into sun at night. It wasn’t raging darkness, but plain agony.

“Can you blame me? I know I love music, I’ve told you that on repeat for years. Is love what I need when that was the cause of everything?”

You didn’t take one glance at me and started walking faster. You were trying to leave me behind but I was quick to grab your hand.

“Please, let’s not act like this. It’s starting to get..” I was trying to think of a less harsh word because things get complicated day by day. And here I thought this date would be an exception. “Childish. Okay? I don’t get why you’re so out of place and it’s like-“

“So now I’m the one getting childish here?” You turned around and faced me, finally. Though it wasn’t any relieving as I expected. You were having tears stuck in your eyes, ready to fall at anytime yet you don’t want to cry in front of me. Are we going to keep this up? I was about to talk but no words came out of me. Until you decided to continue your sentence.

“You knew about this all the time, right? You knew how I was starting to fall for you and yet you continued our relationship without feeling love?” You bit your lips as your eyebrows creased. Trying to push me away, but all I could do was hold you tighter. “I know how trauma feels like. I’ve been there, we’ve been there. But you could’ve told me sooner at least so I’m not the only one looking like a whole fucking fool here, Christopher.” You tried to get away from my hold and yes, you did. Though as I tried to grab your hand once again, you took a step backward and placed your hands up in the air as a sign of surrender. “Call me sensitive but for God’s sake! How could you get me all wrapped up in your finger for the past years and call it something that isn’t attachment nor love? What was I to you then?” It took seconds for me to get the gist of what you’re trying to say and I did understand but I couldn’t answer that simple question.

Because now that I think of it, was I awful to hesitate who you were in my life? Was those years nothing for me then? I want to protect you until the end and I wanted to see you happy but I’m pretty sure I felt this for some of my friends as well. Did I just get into a relationship whilst thinking of my significant other as a friend? Is it called using someone? Taking advantage to make my life better? I know what’s right and what’s wrong. But I don’t know which is which. Getting into a relationship is a risky choice and I don’t want to hurt anybody in between. Because I know that’s what’s wrong. Using others for my need of affection and love is wrong as well. But is this exactly what I’m doing? I don’t know...As things grow, it just gets complicated to the point that I couldn’t even comprehend situations.

“I thought so” you continued, and those words crushed my heart. I didn’t notice the time we’ve been arguing, though technically it’s just you who was able to speak, that we’ve already reached your house. You opened the tiny gate in front of your house and I know what’s going to happen sooner later.

“Maybe, you need time to think about it alright? I don’t think I can keep up with a relationship like this if it’s too one-sided. But don’t worry I’ll wait. Even though what I want may not come,” you chuckled but the sigh was still evident. “I’ll wait for you.” You smiled, but it isn’t the one you’ve always shown me. I was the reason for your happiness but also the reason for your pain. How tragic must have been that sound.

You went your way to the door and closed it. I knew you were crying as I heard little sniffles but never looked my way. Closing the door, that was the last time I had ever seen you. With no goodbye kisses and hugs, you left feeling the ache you didn’t deserve.

3

[YOUR POV]

  It was supposed to be “taking a break”, but considering this, I should’ve accepted it as a break-up. You never took time texting me after the whole 4 months. I guess I was no one in your life. But even though I was still hurt, I regretted spatting out things as if it was your fault. You always get guilty over things and I know it was all just because you had a hard time reciprocating your feelings because of the lack of love you’ve felt. I should’ve understood that part but being the sensitive me, I was unmindful. I’ve also never seen you walk past the corridors nowadays, so it’s basically been also the same 4 months of actually not seeing you as well. You really bothered trying to get out of my life.

I groaned as I sat up in the bed. It was around 8:30 and I’m like 1 hour and 30 mins late? Not that I’m bothered by it since I’ve gotten used to it. It’s not like our teacher is there by the time I arrive.

  -SCHOOL-

  “Outside, now” was the first and last thing I’ve heard as I entered my classroom. And here I thought the teacher wasn’t present. Not only did I embarrass myself in front of my classmates, but I’d also have to stand holding a chair, outside the classroom for lower and higher-ups students to see. Awful, and my reputation is broken. Well, not that I had any significant reputation in the first place but come on, you know how hard it was to see students bickering while looking at you.

I heard the door click open and I hoped it was the teacher who finally would let me in. It turned out to be another classmate of mines which I thought was unnecessary. But as I looked back up and noticed his eyes, a sense of familiarity came unto me.

“Han?” My eyes widened at the sight in front of me. I’m not expecting people to be perfect but our class president was the last person I expected to be scolded by our teacher. “Weren’t you inside the classroom way before me?”

“I cursed.” The guy spoke shortly and lifted the chair just like the same punishment I’ve been doing. I blinked my eyes twice but understood nothing.

“Pardon?” I replied in a high tone as if I was questioning what he was trying to say. Cursed? Is he out of his mind, trying to curse in front of the teacher? Besides, he had always been this quiet kid, but girls still tend to simp over. The latter though is out of my knowledge.

“What did you say?” I leaned in as you jolted quite a bit. Reacting to the sudden flinch, I assumed it was bold of me to do so and it scared you. But looking straight at you, pink tints were found on the side of the cheeks. It was light and definitely cute.

“F-fuck” he faced me with eyebrows creased and hesitated in replying. It was so short and awkward whenever he’d say it or maybe it’s also due to his stuttering. The thought was so out of the place and even I, who is quite free doesn’t curse in front of the teacher for no reason so why would someone who tries to stay low, would curse? But the way you told me the “forbidden” word made me laugh out loud.

“You’re funny, Mr. class president” I replied after a silent 2 minutes and laughed while hitting him lightly. Little amounts of liquids were falling down my deep brown eyes as I tried to regain my breathing. He’s awkward and that’s what makes it funny. I like him.

I wiped off my tears and stared at you. My laughs slowly died down after seeing your confusing expression. I don’t know whether your eyes held a safe haven or a place I was indulged in and forgot about the point that everything was complicated in between. Whether staring at you was comfortable or confusing. All I know is that I was distracted by the genuine smile you gave. It was little but I knew it was a smile after seeing cute dimples on the side of your lips. Now that I think of it, I haven’t ever seen the president smile.

You noticed my pause and coughed, trying to clear out the tension. The usual demeanor was back. Was everything just an illusion then?

“Anyways, I don’t know about you but I’m gonna have to go. Don’t want stay here standing when time’s already up” you lazily said as you pressed your lips together, leaving me speechless all alone. Raising your hand, you waved back at me while walking away and didn’t even take time to look back.

That was weird. Or was I the only one weird? True, I’ve never seen him around that much but I’ve painted the guy as someone responsible considering the works he finished even after given such a small time. He was indeed open-minded but wasn’t out-spoken or friendly. Work is work and he has to make sure he aces his tests for his reputation to not tarnish even one bit, that’s all that matters to him. He was never used to smiling so he doesn’t do it as much, at least that’s what I’ve heard. I’m guessing it must be my imagination.

  /LUNCHTIME/

  Guess what? It’s already lunchtime and I haven’t learned a single bit of information from my teacher’s discussion. Shrugging all my homework, projects, quizzes, oral recitations, and performances that are all due this afternoon, I walked out of the classroom.

But before I did so, I found a familiar guy in my peripheral vision. Trying to confirm whether it was him, I turned and called his name out.

“Mr. president?”

The same awkward and serious guy turned around, raising his right brow. You were confused at first about who would call you with no respect, but hummed in surprise as a response.

“It’s Han for you... and for everyone” trying to continue the work you’ve been doing for our school camp which is totally several months later. What’s the rush?

“Drop the formalities! Besides, I like Mr. president way better.” I smiled and tilted my head then flipped my hair. I was a whole smug for thinking my naming sense was the best thing about me.

“Like, like?”

The same vibe always comes up whenever I’m talking to you and I don’t know why. How is it so hard to interact with smart ones? I feel like their language is different and I couldn’t even comprehend what this guy is trying to say.

“like?”

“You like mr. president. That’s what you said”

And that’s how it struck me. Looking back on everything, it seems pretty weird. (I like Mr. President way better) rings all throughout my head. I know he’s been surrounded by girls who have a crush on him but surely he doesn’t think of this as a low-key confession, right?

Please, I didn’t deserve any of this awkward tension. I did walk up to him first but blame my curiosity for wondering what he’s doing in his free time, does he always go to the library whenever, or what do the lifestyle elites like him actually have? Maybe, I did just want a friend but who knew it would be this complicated. Wrong choice.

“The names you provide for people are so dull” you faked a yawn to show how uninterested you are.

I laughed out and tried to hide the embarrassment I’ve felt inside. He meant the name of course! What was I thinking? He quickly got up and proceeded to leave the classroom as if he understood what I wanted to do. He catches up with things fast if I must say. But the feeling didn’t subside in me and I tried to cover up my face with my hands as soon as he left. Heaving a deep sigh, I reassured myself and followed him.

  -CAFETERIA-

  “This is all they’ve got?”

It’s been a second we’ve entered the school cafeteria and yet this elite beside me was already complaining. We sat down on the white benches and I was also relieved the cafeteria doesn’t have many students since our class ended earlier than the desired time.

“You’ll get used to it. Besides, what do you commonly eat for lunch? This is good.” I replied and waited for a response that never came back. I’m thinking it was a wall I’m talking to. You ate the soup and showed a face of disgust. Of course, I don’t give up.

“Do you have different cafeterias?” “Or do you eat in your respective rooms?” “Do you actually eat? cause you looked really busy with the requirements.” “Being a class president is that hard huh? I don’t think I’ve seen anyone as hard-working as you even if they have high titles.” “You know if I was the class-“

“Why do you ask so many questions? Geez” you swept your hair and sighed. You felt tired talking to someone as chatty as me but all I could do is playfully pout and raise both my eyebrows up. Shrugging, I respond.

“Why not?”

You glared at me but I wasn’t taken aback by it so you decided to reply, finally. “The real question is, why?” you tried to peacefully eat and finished it quickly so you could go to the library, I suppose. It was going smoothly until my small brain with low grammar or structure skills decided to pop up the least moment I wanted it to.

  “Because I’m interested in you.”

  Choking was all I could hear after I simply stated. Panicking, I gave you my water unknowingly and you drank it. I patted your back and stroked it gently.

“You okay?” I tried to calm you down but your face seemed to ask me whether you were okay even after everything was obvious.

“You mean you’d like to know about my lifestyle?” You analyzed my reaction as I tilted my head. I mean isn’t that clear? Your eyes seemed like you got the hang of me again and scoffed, rolling your eyes. Wow! Now, what’s up with this attitude?

“It’s common. Just some random New York steak.” My eyes widened and my ears couldn’t believe what they’re hearing. That’s common? Gosh, even my monthly allowance couldn’t afford to buy a whole steak, what more if it was specifically in New York? And the way he didn’t bother to flex about his lunchtime food and acts as if it’s unimportant.

“Enough about me, how about you?” I believe you were trying to ask for the sake of the conversation but it excites me anyway. I mean, an elite asking me about my life? It boosts my pride, internally laughing as I thought of the idea.

“What do you want to know about me?” Grinning, I eagerly waited for the question. How blessed I am to have an upper-class student to not just interact, but ask about me as well.

“What happened between you and Bang Chan?”

I’m taking it all back. I don’t want to hear any questions. I was wrong. By Bang Chan, I knew straight away he was referring to Chris. The mentioned ex became an elite, or so I heard. I don’t know how, why, or when but that’s the only reason possible for him to know there was a thing between us. But unlike me, Mr. President wants to make sure of everything and not just the rumors he had heard.

“No.” I simply stated and continued to eat.

“Why not?”

“I should be the one asking you why”

“Because I’m interested in you”

I paused and was slightly surprised by the sudden declaration. Okay, my way of telling him made me look crazy. I looked up to him and saw a pair of teasing eyes. This is who mr. president is? Now it was my time to roll my eyes and I knew at that moment I had no escape.

“Exes. We’re exes.” I expected a startled expression from you but your lips curled downwards as if you expected it. How was it hard to read this guy’s mind though he immediately catches up on everything I’m feeling?

Days passed by and as usual, I was the one annoying you. At that very time, we became close because I knew you were a comfortable place for me to be in. You don’t judge unlike what others do each time I open up my problems especially when it comes to my relationship with an elite and Christopher, out of all. For sure, you were the right choice of friend I never knew I needed to rely on.

4

[YOUR JOURNAL]

  Just a few days passed by and I hear lots of students whispering. What’s the occasion? I don’t even know myself yet I’ve brought a ring that matches mine. I’m naive but I always trust my instincts no matter what. As I try to recall the date and puts everything together in one piece from all the clues I’ve gotten.

A familiar man appeared in my sight. But he wasn’t mr. president. He was looking at me and I continued to look at those deep brown eyes I’ve longed to see after a long time. Was I prepared? No. Did I want to see him? I’m not sure so myself. But did I actually like that view? Indeed. My very first heartbreak or hiatus came back after months and to see he felt the same way I did. Did the moment I waited for all of my life would finally happen?

Each step you take, the more my anxiety rushes through me. I felt the shivers either because I was scared or it was the tears I’ve forced to stop from rolling down my cheeks. Or simply both, ignoring the fact that I was hurt yet I did want to see you after all. I wanted to walk away, but if I did then I’m making the same mistake twice. Therefore I stood still silent and only my heartbeat is the loudest out of all.

Closing my eyes, I expected strong grips around my wrist which marks it deep red because anger was the only thing present in the space between us. I didn’t take consideration of the things you’ve gone through but instead became selfish just because I’ve moved on from the past. I did tell you I would wait for you forever but all I gave you was the pressure of making you choose decisions at times you were having a hard time. Just because you made me learn the definition of love, doesn’t mean I could anticipate that you felt the same thing.

Quite on the contrary, I’ve felt warmth and comfort. The grip was truly strong, strong enough to hurt me emotionally and not physically unlike what I expected. The grip I’ve felt was hanging around me, a hug was given to me even when I didn’t deserve this.

“I’m sorry” that was what I’ve heard in the muffled and low volume of voice the man had spoken because he was on the verge of tears. I was supposed to be the one asking for an apology, yet this guy took it to heart once again. Typical Christopher.

“I missed you. I’ve realized I can’t do things without you. It’s been hard..” Your sentence cut the uncertainty I’ve felt. It came, he came. I cried my heart out after not breathing for a second. It would finally work out, after months of trying to ask for support from other people, you entered my life once again. And better? You loved me.

It was your graduation, and I’m glad to be there just like what we dreamed it to be. You may have left, but our romance never stopped.

Cliché right? Of course, that never happens in reality. What happens, is the point that we argue every day because of the long-distance relationship that serves as an obstacle in us. We don’t even know whose mistake it is but considering you, you’ve always been the one who let your pride down and ask for forgiveness. There are times it’s also been me because I realized that this guy doesn’t deserve more burdens in his life. Support is everything I could give.

“Everything working out?” I was astounded by the call Hanji decided to initiate first. He’s always been there for me when I had it rough. He cares for me though he doesn’t show it as much.

“I don’t know. I’ve rarely been receiving texts but he made sure to call me anytime soon. We’ve both been fighting against this. Thanks by the way” You sighed after I finished my sentence. I hoped my exhaustion wasn’t able to reach you but you knew straight away.

“What do you see in him? He is talented and ideal but do you think you both match up?“

It was good he called but hitting it directly at me and doubts our relationship? That’s what triggered and ticked me off. “I told you not to talk about this.” I firmly uttered.

“He doesn’t get the way you act, talk or even feel”

“I’m sorry? What do you mean by that?” It’s rare to see us quarrel because you didn’t want to reach that point and yet it’s you trying to get all complicated once again. Here I thought I got the hang of how you think. “He understands me more than anyone.”

“If he does then why didn’t he call by then?”

“He was busy. I repeated that to you more than thrice throughout the whole call. But if he wasn’t busy then he’d take a grasp of everything.”

“Was he? Because the last time I knew you had a rough day, crying all alone, he didn’t. The time I knew I had to cheer you up, he didn’t. The time I knew I needed to reassure you that no one’s ever going to leave you but stay by your side, even though you didn’t realize about it, he didn’t.”

3 seconds passed by before my voice was heard in the line.

“What does that have to do with all these?”

“I understand you but the guy you wanted to be with, doesn’t”

That was it, the final blow. Both were concerning, the whole sentence is. Starting from the conclusion you understood me up until the thought of me wanting a guy who doesn’t pick me up the way I assume couples needed. We had a relationship with Chris, but was it called a relationship with lots of things in between?

“I’m sorry. Slipped out. I was just irritated.” It was a first for you to apologize but my mind wandered to the part where you compared yourself to Christopher.

“What do you mean by you understanding me when he doesn’t?”

“I mean... If I did understand you, then I’m pretty sure a lot more boys out there would be a better match and would recognize your desire. They would be able to take care of you. You know I’m just.. worried.”

If it was the usual vibe, I would’ve laughed at that lame excuse. But thinking back, it’s hard for me to perceive the way you feel about me. I’ve heard rumors but ended up being nonchalant about it because mr. president having feelings? I chose to believe it wasn’t real especially when I’m already facing a hard time.

“good night.” You continued after the short silence. It was now you who was starting to get exhausted. You cut off the line quickly before I could even reply. Was the relationship between me and Chris wasn’t able to follow up fate? How innocent of me to think that true love comes so easily.

5

  Days turned to months and I lost count of the weeks Chris has been gone by my side. He had never failed to text compared in the past, but I still yearned for his affection.

He seemed excited on the phone today and unknowingly called me 5 times and now a 6-

“Christopher, aren’t you busy?” I giggled as I heard him laugh. It made my day and filled up the void in me that was created because of the thought he isn’t able to be with me on my graduation day.

“I have duties... as your boyfriend” I playfully rolled my eyes without expecting a turn of events.

It was my final day in school and to think that I have to spend it alone because I had no friends, awful. Chris made my day though, so I wanted to enjoy it to the fullest. But the feeling of not seeing Hanji anymore still lingered in my mind. It was harsh but I had to accept it. We didn’t talk that much but undoubtedly, he was a good friend in times I need him.

Whilst looking around the stalls in the halls, I found him. He was talking to a guy seemingly the same age as ours and he looked so happy. But as his eyes met mines, was it just me, or did it die down? Maybe he doesn’t want to see me after all? His eyes traveled back to the sushi he ordered but sighed as I ran up to him.

“Mr. president?” The happy and annoying tone of calling him wasn’t present anymore. It was gloomy, hesitating if I should bother his hours or time. “Did I do something?”  What happened to our closure? it flees away.

I saw you in the process of trying to smile a little and just hummed to let me know nothing’s wrong. But everything is. You ignored me and walked up to the classroom. I followed you, as I always do. I decided to speak up but you cut me off.

“I’m sorry if I did-“

  “Are you still interested in me?”

  You turned around and confronted my small figure. It hurts the way you try to smile in front of me but failed to do so. Usually, you always made me believe what you wanted me to. You’d say you’re fine, you’re happy, you’re not exhausted, but right now? I’m not buying it. I may not be able to read you that much, but you seemed too tired to the point that your magic of convincing me didn’t work.

“Interested..?”

“You said you were interested in how elite ones live. Now that you got the answer and your boyfriend is one, what am I there for?”

“You were there for me-“

  “when he couldn’t be there”

  You were being on and off, getting more complicated as time passes by. You don’t go straight to the point but instead, run circles until I have a hard time contemplating whether I’m the wrong one.

“What are you trying to imply?” I questioned

“I don’t need a quote that says don’t expect something in return”

“Return? After everything, we’ve been through? Our friendship? Was it all just nothing? How doesn’t that benefit you?”

“Because the more I give you your need, why do I have to receive pain instead?” Your voice was shaky and I can see you biting your lip, trying to suppress yourself from falling and breaking. “You wanted to know me because you were curious about my life. Now that you know of it, what do you want from me?”

“What do you mean what do I want? I want nothing from you. The bond that we’re tied in is enough for “

“Then who am I to you?”

“I told you, a friend.”

“My purpose in your life?”

“Lifting me up whenever I feel....down”

“So did you recognize how that sound like to you?”

Among both of us, I broke down first. Why am I being the one treated like the villain in this story taking advantage of people around me? Why am I the perceived the evil being in our friendship? Why does he want to make me feel guilty? I didn’t even know what the problem is yet, but I was already the bad one here. Call me clueless, but I couldn’t be blamed for something I don’t even know about. Quiet sobs filled in the silence and I could feel your sympathy filling the empty room.

“If ever..” in a low volume, you decided to speak “Why do you want to spend more time with me?” I looked up to you and wiped away all my tears if that’s possible.

A reason, that’s all I need to prove but no suggestions came up to my mind. Recollecting tragedies, was I the one who didn’t bother calling you when you didn’t do the same to me? Why didn’t I? You didn’t even pass my mind one single time in the past days. So why didn’t that happen? I appreciated him but when did things gradually just..stop?

Tears fell down yours as well but you didn’t want me to look at you in the eye. “You were supposed to say for more memories, you know? Like because I actually made you happy so you wanted me to appreciate our moments. Believe it or not, that’s what they say” you laughed to lift the air but I was still left dumbfounded after everything. How terrible of me, that thought echoes repeatedly.

Hours passed by and I wasn’t feeling it. The sun turned gloomy, the loud cheer of students turned to noise, the sky turned monochrome and the atmosphere turned dull. All I could do was ask Chris regarding it. All he could say is that he appreciated how Hanji backed off and didn’t want to complicate things more by telling me. Understanding none of it, what does he mean by didn’t want to complicate things more when our quarrel was? Wow, I really am this hopeless. Slow and unaware.

I was lost in thought that I late realized how I could hear vehicles in Chris as he was on call. Was he lying then? He mentioned he was staying in but why are there noises and people chattering? I was baffled hearing one of the familiar voices behind. One seemed to be the same as my classmate.

“Where are you? I thought you said you were in your home?”

  “I am home.”

  Clichè as it seemed, It all felt like a slow-motion in a fast-paced sequence of events. Firstly you were just talking to me but at the next second, you were personally doing it.

Holding your phone, I finally found the guy I’ve seen and lost on the same day in the past. But now? He’s here. Promising me that he won’t leave ever again. I knew I could trust these words no matter how repetitive they're going to be. Once you tell me it, I just know you’d be by my side no matter what until the end of the world.

You were looking the same as I remembered in the past and it’s played out like deja vu. You walking up to me and giving me a whole hug of comfort, as I cried in your arms.

“How about your-“

“I don’t want you to worry about it. I’ve chosen myself, with no additional pressure, to live with you.” You stroked my hair and patted my back.

“Live with me?”

“Don’t you want to?” I was delighted and surprised by the sudden decision. I wasn’t given enough time to think about it, not that I needed time anyway. I would always choose you over anything else.

It was the event and yes, I graduated with my boyfriend cheering me on and allowed me to soar high and fly, to start a new beginning.

6

[HAN POV]

  It was good seeing you happy. Even if it was Bang Chan, I’m sure he is the only man that can make you smile like that.

But indeed, I was hurt. I was a book you wanted to read but as soon as you got ahold of the main idea, everything starts to get boring. Usually, you would never fail to not make me annoyed each day because as you always say, I cross your mind every time. When you were indulged in your relationship, I was forgotten.

It was all my mistake and you don’t have to feel guilty about it. I may not have any expectations of you loving me, but I had hopes and that’s what made me receive pain. If I hadn’t hoped you would be with me, hoping you forgot about him, hoped you could see I am just here waiting, hoped you could realize I can treat you better, then both of us wouldn’t get hurt. It’s my fault and I’m held accountable to live in regrets.

But even for a split second, I am happy that I am capable of distracting your worries and making your day better. I wasn’t thinking well in the argument a while ago but I did get the benefit. Seeing you happy, makes me happy. So letting you go is the best choice for both of us to receive joy. Scratch that, I don’t have the right to tell you I would let you go.

  Because I never stood a chance did I?

7

[YOUR JOURNAL]

  After graduating, I moved in with Christopher. He let me listen to some of the tracks he had created to stop me from bothering him all day.

The music he had composed was nothing personal and was based on people from different perspectives. I had never felt the same experience as well but something about the way he writes and produces brought me to tears. The pain and emptiness inside were well shown in the midst of harmonies. He was also a genius writer with well-structured sentences and livens up feelings in the words to make the listener feel as if he or she was the one narrating it. His father is a musician, but to think he would be able to express that much in songs just shows how deeply connected he is with music. He wasn’t motivated because he tries to stop himself from being like his father but it was a pity for him to stop something he is incredibly good at.

“You’re really something Christopher! Do you know that?” I hugged him from behind and heard his little laughs. “I think I’ve fallen for you all over again. But honestly, I knew you’d write and produce this good” I wore on a smug look as he asked while giggling because of the face I’m giving.

“How?”

“How about calling it an intuition from an expert music lover?” You playfully rolled your eyes in my response because you expected something more detailed. You urged me to explain it to you so you’d knew my opinion about the music and so I did.

“Your words are beautiful that it makes me believe anything you’ll say, Christopher” I smiled and kissed your cheek. I rested my head near your neck as we were sat on the bed, facing each other.

It was true. You made me feel different feelings and opened up a new perspective to move on from my past. You influenced me a variety of changing thoughts. I don’t like the idea of losing myself to someone because it forgets the real me. I don’t like the concept of being crazy in love with people because it doesn’t feel sweet somehow whenever the risk of it being one-sided and unable to move on is present. Not realizing that whenever the talk comes about you, it feels heavenly. I don’t know who I would be if I wasn’t yours but it all feels enchanting. Although you made me insecure, at the same time you made me laugh throughout the day. You were a gold rush. Perfect and gentle, to think that someone like me got you is like winning once in my entire life. Luck is rare but fate was there. By fate, it turned out you were destined to meet me and get me out of the hell hole, no one tried to do. By fate, it means I will love you and will forever do. By fate, we’ll stand strong and fight the cracks alongside our journey.

8

[CHRIS POV]

  You wouldn’t take a no for an answer when I was asked to create more songs. A single shed of tear from listening to my music encouraged you to push more song requests unto me. Make-me-a-song was all I could remember hearing from you.

I remember you publishing one of my songs and I was accepted by it. You were jumping up and down as I was worried about its outcome. I was starting to get known, that was also the beginning of how the unforgivable musician started to forget about the important ones in his life. It was as if the result would be dragging my only light into my darkness. I don’t want to be a musician and yet, here I am composing more songs even if I knew what was coming soon.

I’ve started with light romance that I think you’ll enjoy but seeing you look so happy with just a simple work of mine, gave me that motivation I least wanted to have. And like a recorded cd, everything was played the exact same way in different men. I hated it but it was truly like father, like son.

I continued to write songs with deeper ones but as I got the recognition all the more, I produced as if I was possessed. I was indulged in the way words can be conveyed differently and ideas, stories, and theories were constantly overflowing my mind. I was wrapped up in music and I hated myself for it. Even though I despised the process, I couldn’t help but continuously write. All of my pent-up feelings in the past years were expressed in my songs, making me create heavy tracks and don’t run out of stories to tell. The man I’ve been hiding and was traumatized from came back and it’s as if he mocks me that we are on the same page after all. I felt myself sinking and sinking despite you telling me that I am not like my father because I made you feel the definition of love. I was trapped in a room with no escape that relates whenever I had started making music, I couldn’t get out of it. I wasn’t forced but this drive is what makes me continue because I feel like I’m creating a new genre that makes people deeply appreciate and maybe understand what I’ve been going through.

4 years came by but it felt like days in my studio.

“Chris, are you sure you’re fine? Get enough rest okay?” the young girl called me but I was busy finalizing the song.

“Yes, thank you,” I replied shortly after your question. I wasn’t paying much attention so I didn’t know the accurate response for it.

“Anyways, what’s that ab-“

“I’m working on music that’s going to be showcased and submitted to the famous JYP company later. It is really important so I would appreciate it if you wouldn’t distract me by asking so many questions. Come by later, we’ll talk about it then.” I looked at my watch on my right arm and noticed how I still got a few hours left before attending the ceremony. The albums will be released soon after but I have to submit another title track.

I was busy with all the scheduled dates and songs that I hadn’t realized

  she wasn’t smiling anymore.

  “Mr. Bang Chan?” hours came by and truly the CEO came. We have a friendly bond and he gives me advice so it’s casual for him to call on me. I hurried up to the door and went to the car.

“Why didn’t you invite her to the big event?” The CEO of the company asked me to start up a conversation. He crossed his hands and tapped his fingers as if he thought of something so deep and significant because he was getting impatient.

“It’s a big hassle. She isn’t good and comfortable in interacting with people she doesn’t know” I simply stated and smiled for respect.

“I don’t interfere or meddle in the personal affairs or lives of others but I hope you aren’t neglecting her because of this, are you?”

“She will understand” I looked up to the car window and stared at the illuminating lights from buildings. I know you took a lot of time waiting for me, but please don’t give up and let me finish this song about you. By then, our Disney-like dreams would finally come true and I swear I’ll make you even happier.

  I held a box of ring in my pocket. I’ll make you happy, just hang a bit in there okay?

9

[YOUR POV]

  The CEO told me about the new album he’s been working on. It was about his first love. It would be no other than me, right?

I went up to his room and read the paper scattered alongside his desk. There were lots but I decided to read the one that I assumed was already done. It was near the porch and I understood how he wanted to compose in front of the moon.

  The moon shone brightly that night

 but I realized that wasn’t my source of light

You look lovely

as the smiles you beamed lasted an eternity

I was persuaded and lost in thought

unknowingly, my heart was caught

Because even under the moon, you’ve shone the brightest

and cleared my problems at most

Even under where light lies,

 I was indulged deep in your eyes

Even when it illuminates through the void,

a different view is what I’ve enjoyed

Because even if their minds were fixated on the scene,

looking at you felt more serene

  I stopped reading the paper and placed it back on the desk.

  “That can’t be me..” I thought.

  Starting from the mentioned smiles, how could that be me? You stated you enjoyed looking at me, but I felt like I was invisible whenever you compose songs. Did you make songs while thinking of me? I don’t think so. You should’ve known that you were dragging me along with your darkest nights. I wasn’t even your light anymore, it died down. I was overshadowed by your passion or the one you’re talking about in this script. Can I still make you happy? No. Am I still happy? No. The whole lyrics proves how you didn’t even take a single glance at me right now. Because if you did care, you would've known I changed because you did. I changed because the person I was relying upon, didn’t find motivation in me. We started together but it lost while it progresses just like how you started music because of me but lost my figure in your sight along the way. It was reality, I was being forgotten. When I was alone crying, where were you? I know you don’t understand me quite well but I was the whole climate. I changed for seasons unlike in the past where it was mild swings. Because you know what hurts the most? Not the fact that I waited and kept waiting as I am already used to that and no matter how many years it may take, I’ll always wait for you. But it’s all because everything went back. You picked me up from the trauma and showed how love is but it’s as if my past resurfaced from the waters and told me how tragedies would always stay the same. That I would always end up this way no matter who I’m faced to. I felt guilty for slightly regretting that I praised your songs. Indeed you were meant to be connected with music and it’s your passion. I’m happy that I was able to show it to you but wouldn’t these happen if I didn’t start it all? I was wrong. I thought it made you happy but no. None of these made us happy. Your pieces of music weren’t to blame, I shouldn’t be blamed and neither were you. Where did everything go wrong? I don’t know, it just started to fall off. These lyrics were deeply engraved in my mind. You seemed so in love when I wasn’t able to show you what love is. If it was a person, she must’ve been so kind and understanding. She must’ve been someone who understood your secrets and feelings. And me? I couldn’t still get to you. I’m confused about what’s best for you or what you wanted all along. I don’t recognize the woman you’re writing about. Either it was the past me or someone new. Chris,

  who is it that you’re in love with?

  Cold air rushed through my skin as I closed my eyes and inhaled the scent of calm air. It wasn’t possible but it was enough to make me feel calm. I still appreciated our moments but I feel like I can’t wait anymore, Chris. It’s not because I’m tired but because I feel like you’ll be better without me. I hate the idea of me regretting I showed you your passion. I’ll be nothing but a whole burden. You’ll meet someone better who recognizes your life and by then she’ll be a brave one who can communicate with you. You’ll find someone new, or you already did. If anything, happiness is all I need in the end, at least at the ends of the world. It did happen. I was happy because the next thing I’ll do will be the bravest thing I had ever done after all my cowardly decisions in life, and it’s all because of you.

I stood up at the top of the porch and imagined a vivid scenery. It was you kneeling down to someone new. She did accept it and you were celebrating. Tears ran down my cheeks but was I smiling? Yes, it was indeed happiness seeing you take a break from the pressure and realize you needed to receive joy. I wasn’t able to give it to you but to think someone else would, contrasted the happiness and pain. “It’s time to let go” I opened my eyes slowly as I thought and saw the moonlight. I snapped out of my thoughts and cleared out my head. Because no matter what happened in between us, you crossed my mind in a second. And that’s when I knew, I still loved you despite the bittersweet rain.

10

[CHRIS POV]

  I heard sirens in front of the place that doesn’t feel like home anymore. Why? I heard how young and innocent the girl was and it was a pity to see her leave. It was a shock for me to the point that I hadn’t shed a single tear. Empty, hollow. It was all I could feel at the moment. Was she gone? Did she conclude to leave her out of my life?

Paper. That’s all I’ve seen on the desk. It’s prohibited to enter but I couldn’t believe what I’m seeing. The paper was crumpled and I believed you took the time to read this. Was my perspective wrong about you? Wasn’t this about you? I read the paper without further thinking and realized how I painted her as an angel. She is human, she was a human. Yet I’ve acted as if she was happy all the time, trying to save me from being a mess. Did I take a look back at her? No, instead I assumed too quickly. But what could that change? I was late and you’ve already given up. I was this close to preventing this but because I was so into writing a song made for you, I had forgotten the purpose to the point that it doesn’t seem like you anymore. Can I turn back time? If only I could. I needed to feel your warmth, I needed to see you one last time. I need you.

“Excuse me, do you know the victim?” A man from the authorities asked.

“Yes.”

Mixed emotions were vivid. I felt guilty but hoped you were happy in your last breath. The context of mines was complicated and I didn’t even notice it before. I abandoned to treat, as what I comprehend. Miscommunication rode the tides but it was undoubtedly true when I started to ignore people that surround me. I want to focus on you without realizing I left you. Is that even possible? It is now that I’ve seen it. Just like CDs, everything was played out in deja vu. People were different but things were just the same. It was how I became just like the person I despised all my life. But I did it for a reason, it’s not like I forgot about you. I just didn’t think how your feelings are right now but pursuing this song, is how I still remembered every bit of you. Would the ring I held on be given if I arrived earlier? No, I should’ve realized. I should’ve loved and made you feel how important you were to me in the days back then. In times you felt a hole in your chest, I should’ve been there to feel it up with love. I should’ve been there when you felt insecure. I should’ve been there when you felt all alone. But no matter how much I hurt myself, tear myself apart, it all ends with “I should’ve.” I’m sorry I couldn’t show you what I wanted to. I’m sorry I couldn’t love you until the very end.

I continued explaining to the man, 

  “She was my fiancée”

would you love me if I let go?

[imagines4thefandoms]

The Man the World Forgot

Part 1

summery: Chris was living the life. He was a famous movie star with all of his films a blockbuster hit. Millions of people around the world knew his name; Chris was the most famous person in the world. But that all changed in a matter of seconds. When Chris wakes up one morning and the world has no idea who he is. Not even his family and close friends. Chris Evans no longer exist, or more exactly he never did. No one remembered him, no one except Scarlet. Scarlet McLaughlin was just a normal college student just trying to make it to graduation. She discovers that she is the one who remembers who Chris Evans is. Together they try and work out why the world doesn’t remember the movie star. Will they be able to fix the movie stars life or will he just stay forgotten in the minds of his loved ones?

word count: 2.2K

Chis Evans’ Saturday night was just a regular Saturday night while away for work: he called Scott to talk to Dodger, went for a quick run before eating in the hotel restaurant. He watched the couple sitting next to him celebrate something and grew a bit jealous. All he wanted in life to find the right person, settle down, and have kids. Chris just never met the right person.

After finishing his meal, the lonely star went back to his room to get ready for his busy day of shooting in the morning. Normally he would at least explore the city a little but he wasn’t in the mood to explore the beautiful Big Easy tonight. Before the elevator doors closed a pair of newly weds game in and were giggling in the corner. Evans tired to hid as to not draw attention to himself but the couple were too entranced with each other to notice that there was someone else in the elevator.

When the now suffocating metal box reached his floor, Chris exited and walked to his room wondering when he would ever have what they had. He kicked his shoes off as soon as his hotel door closed behind him and got ready for bed. Once he got in bed, he decided against watch tv and just let the noise of the city ease him into slumber. But before he could close his eyes, he saw a light streak across the night sky. ‘A shooting star’ he thought. Chris closed his eyes and made a wish.

“I wish I could be normal and find the love of my life,” he whispered before finally going to sleep.

At midnight the sky exploded with light. The entire city of New Orleans went quite for just a second then roared back to life as if being rebooted. Little did the actor know that his innocent wish full of love and hope had come true but has also brought a twist.

Chris woke up to his alarm blaring at six in the morning for his call time at seven thirty. He has awoken with a new cheery disposition than when he went to bed. Chris had a feeling that today was going to be a great day. He was about to call Scott to talk to Dodge and his brother but decided to take a shower first cause he knew he would be on that call for a while.

After his shower, Chris put on simple jeans and a t-shirt then grabbed his wallet and phone to head to set. The bipolar southern weather had subsided and left a nice cool day, causing the actor to decide to walk the few blocks to set. While on his walk Chris noticed that he was actually relaxed. There was no people with cameras following him nor fans stopping him for a picture. He chalked it up to people still being hung over from their night on Bourbon Street. Chris then remembered that he still has to call Scott. He took out his phone and pressed on his brother’s name in his contacts and waited for him to pick up.

“Hello,” Scott answered in a confused tone.

“Hey man, I just called to say good morning to Dodge. Did I wake you,” Chris asked hoping that he didn’t. He sometime forgot that not everyone is on his sleep schedule.

“Who is this,” Scott replied.

Chis laughed thinking that this was one of his brothers pranks or that he had woken his brother up and he was so fresh from sleep that he was confused. “Scott its me. Are you hung over?” Chris asked as he stopped at a cross walk.

“Hi me but I still don’t know who this is. How did you get this number? You can’t just call me to talk to my dog,” Scott said in a slightly irritated tone.

Chris really thought that his brother was milking this prank. Which was fine. “Scott already very funny its Chris. Your brother. Now can I talk to MY dog before I head on set.”

“Look I don’t know who this is but I don’t have a brother. Don’t call here again,” Scott said before hanging up.

Chis looked at his phone after his brother hung up just to make sure he called the right person. He decided against calling him again just to check up on him partly because he wanted to wait til he had a lunch break in hopes that Scott would give up on this prank and partly because he was at his filming location.

He walked up to the security guard and gave him a smile as he walked by, but the guard stopped him. “Name,” the guard asked.

Evans wasn’t use to not being recognized but he chalked it to being protocol. He gave the guard his name and id and waited til he check is clipboard of approved people on set. “Your not on the list,” the guard replied handing back the id.

“There has got to be some mistake,” Chris said slightly annoyed, “Im the lead role.”

“You are not on the list, which means you don’t get in.”

Chris was now more annoyed so he took out his phone and called his agent Charlie to straighten this whole mess out. Once Charlie picked up the phone Chris skipped the pleasantries and just tole him how he’s not being let on set and that he’s about to be late.

“Who is this,” Charlie asked after Chris went on his little rant.

“Charlie, its Chris. Chris Evans.”

“Um i’m not in the office today but if you make an appointment with my assistant we can look into maybe representing you. I don’t know how you got this number but i’m going to give you my assistant’s and you just make an appointment,” Charlie replied in a professional manor.

“Charlie. Im already your client. Did Scott put you up to this,” Chris laughed at the extent of his brother’s prank.

“I know all of my clients and a Chris Evans is not one of them. Im sorry I think you have the wrong number. Have a great weekend,” Charlie replied hanging up the phone.

Chris was starting to really not like this prank. He had to be on set in five minutes, but his anxiety of the whole situation was getting really out of hand so he went for a walk around the city. Then he will be late to set and Charlie will call him back to apologize making the whole prank thing to rest.

Even though the city isn’t at its bullies at seven thirty in the morning Chris couldn’t deny the cozy and exciting atmosphere of it. Once again on his walk Chris was not bothered by fans nor photographers and for a quick second he wondered how extensive was the plank his brother was pulling. He pasted a Café Du Monde and realized that he had planned on eating breakfast on set. This place was on a list of places Anthony had told Chris to visit while he was in New Orleans. These beignets were supposedly the best things ever so Chris took his friends advice and decided to have an order for breakfast.

He sat down at a table outside so he could still enjoy the scenery of the old beautiful city and waited for a waitress to come over. Chris was entranced by some street players when his waitress came over and greeted him a good morning. He looked over and saw a young girl about seventeen in white button-up shirt with black pants, black bowtie, and a long green apron. The actor braced himself for the questions and her starstruck demeanor.

“Are you,” she started to say as she grabbed her notebook out of the apron.

“Chris Evans yes, how are you,” he said expecting her question of a picture and autograph. But it never came instead introduced herself and told him she was asking if he was ready to order.

This took Chris by surprise. Usually you women this this waitress would be hounding him for pictures and autographs and question but she did. He wanted to chalk it up to her being professional but there was a tiny voice inside his head the told him it was something else.

“Sorry um ill take an order of beignets and a café au Lait,” Chris ordered thankful for the pressure from Anthony for him to pronounce every thing he is going to eat in New Orleans correctly so he doesn’t look stupid. The Waitress gave him a nod and a smile before to put in his order.

The waitress came back three minutes later with the coffee and a plate with three beignets. She placed the items on the table and gave him the line of ‘hope you enjoy’ then went back to work. After he took one bite, he realized that Anthony was right about how delicious these things were. Chris was about to text his friend about how much he enjoyed the fried doughy treat but decided against because he knew Mackie was in the west coast for his film and its six am in Hollywood, also he didn’t want to take the chance that Scott had gotten him in on the prank as well.

For the first time in forever Chris Evans wanted to be attacked by paparazzi  and to be swarmed by fans getting too close for comfort. So he did the only think he could think of. Once he finish his breakfast he paid and left a generous tip to the young highs cool student and walked to the place where he knew there would be people at eight in the morning: the Flea Market down the road.

Once he arrived to the Flea Market, he was overwhelmed over the amount of people there. Given that it was eight in the morning on a Saturday it wasn’t weird for this many people to be there, but the sight gave Chris a little bit of anxiety. He was starting to second guess being around so many people in this publish setting just to get recognized.

But once again while he was looking at all the different booths, no one stopped him, no one took his picture, and no one whispered about him behind his back. Chris decided to get Scott something from the flea market in hopes that it would make him fell bad for this prank; Chris had also gotten some souvenirs for the rest of his family while at the flea market as well. Once he was finished with his shopping, the actor headed back to his hotel room. He wanted to get some rest and just wake up from this horrible day.

On his walk back to the hotel, Chris thought that he should enjoy this albeit terrible anonymity he seems to have. He walked a little slower and just took in the sights of the historical buildings he was passing. And while he has heard Anthony complain about the streets being awful in the city he admired the imperfection of the cracks and the potholes, something that natives never have like.

He stoped at Jackson square and enjoyed one street performer groups’ show and looked around at the art work hanging on the fence. Some where simple and others where very detailed but all captured the story of the city that had persevered though many hardships. And after gazing upon what is St. Louis Cathedral, Evans really headed back to his hotel room.

This time the buildings were not the things that caught his attention, but the families that were out exploring the city as he was. One that stuck out in particular was a family with a small girl about the age of five who kept asking her father if they could take a horse ride. She was pointing to the white horse who was standing at the corner to the street waiting for the next people he was going to give a ride too. The father and mother exchanged looked and then agreed which caused the little girl to jump up and down with joy.

The sight made Chris’s heart swell. In that moment he didn’t see that family, he saw the family he hope to have in the future. He saw his littler girl jumping for joy over a horse while him and his wive looked upon her with such adoration. The family disappeared into the horse drawn carriage and Chris’s mind was back on his bed.

Chris was almost at his hotel room when he felt like he was being watched, which on a normal day wasn’t weird but on a day like today it was. He stopped and looked around him to see where this feeling was coming from. That when he noticed someone on the phone across the street staring straight at him. Chris knew that look on her face. Its the face fans get when they see him. This girl knows who he is. She is the only person who does. He knew he had to ask her why.

Part 2

[cmi-miu]

Ya’aburnee - Chapter 2 (Seventeen Soulmate AU)

Soulmate AU: The last words your soulmate says to you are the words tattooed on your wrist.

Pairing: SoonWoo, (JiHan, SeokHao)

Title: Ya'aburnee (arabic): yak-BER-nee (n.) lit. "you bury me"; the hope that your lover or beloved will outlive you as to spare yourself the pain of living beyond that person.

Summary: It’s the death anniversary of Soonyoung’s soulmate. And both Soonyoung and his husband, Wonwoo, are not handling it well.

Fate seems to mock him as Soonyoung stares at the June 15th circled on the calendar. A wallet-sized picture of Mingyu sits clipped to it and it takes everything in Soonyoung’s power to not hurl something at it.

He’s been up since dawn break and all he’s done is either stare at Mingyu’s photographs or watch Wonwoo running around their apartment preparing the memorial food for the Myojae.

It’s a morbid atmosphere that surrounds them and it feels like walking around in a morgue room every time Soonyoung and Wonwoo cross paths while preparing for the long trip.

“Could you pack the songpyeon while I go change?” Wonwoo whispers as Soonyoung enters the kitchen. He doesn’t wait for a reply and rushes to their bedroom, leaving Soonyoung staring at the offering food sitting sadly on the countertop.

He packs the songpyeon with great care—Mingyu’s favourite—and places all the doshiraks in a large carry bag. Soonyoung then drags the bag to the living room, puts the memorial tablet in it and waits for Wonwoo.

When his husband comes out of the bedroom the two don’t even share a word as they exit the apartment. Soonyoung holds the door for Wonwoo while his husband carries Mingyu’s portrait out.

The car ride is possibly the most awkward one Soonyoung has ever shared with anyone. Neither speaks and both have tears stubbornly rolling down their cheeks. A sullen silence engulfs them as both find themselves incapable of consoling their husband.

By the time they arrive at the burial site in Anyang, Soonyoung is more composed than Wonwoo. They carry the food towards the raised mound of earth where Mingyu is buried and Wonwoo stumbles when he sees a figure already sitting there.

Soonyoung’s raises his eyes at Wonwoo’s hesitance but continues walking towards Mingyu‘s mother nonetheless. Sitting beside her as she cleans his tombstone.

“Mrs Kim,” he whispers and she turns to greet them with a morose smile. “Let me do the rest.”

She nods his head as if tired and turns to Wonwoo, who stumbles towards them in uncertainty. Soonyoung starts unpacking the food and setting up the ceremonial table, and tries not to cry when he pulls out Mingyu’s portrait from the carry bag.

It’s the one he’d taken of him after Mingyu’s high school graduation. He remembers their first kiss the same night and the intensity of the stinging in his heart increases tenfold.

Wonwoo edges closer to the woman and she gently pats his cheeks, tears streaking her cheeks as she tries to form some semblance of a smile.

“Wonwoo-ya,” she whispers, holding his face gently. She leans up to kiss his forehead and another slew of tears makes its way down his cheeks. “My sweet, sunny child.”

And it’s like the tightrope that was his sanity has been broken and all his emotions creep out as he watches the woman, crying into her hand as she caresses his face.

And Wonwoo cries.

Wonwoo loses all semblance of where he is and who he’s with and let’s himself cry after months of staying dumb. Because it’s been a year since Mingyu’s death and he’s still unable to let go.

Because it’s been a year since he’s been left alone and he still hasn’t learnt how to be without his brother.

Because at night when nightmares strangle him, Mingyu is not there to comfort him.

Because he’s terrified and Mingyu is no longer his shield against the world.

Soonyoung is startled when he hears it because he’d never expected Wonwoo to cry. That is not to say that he didn’t think Wonwoo didn’t cared about Mingyu. It’s just that he didn’t think Wonwoo was the type to show his emotions so easily.

But watching his husband weep like a child in his Aunt’s arms, hiccuping like a baby, Soonyoung finds himself helpless.

What am I supposed to even do? How should I console my own husband?

He watches the pair crying and he’s sure that if it continues both will continue crying themself sick. So, for the first time since their marriage he decides to forget his own loss (for the time being at least).

Soonyoung finishes setting up the ceremonial offerings, then shifts towards Wonwoo. He gently pulls the man away from his Aunt, mumbling, “it’s time for the ceremony, Wonwoo. Let’s finish the ceremony first, okay?”

His husband freezes under his touch, not letting go of his Aunt’s embrace until the woman pats his shoulders. Wonwoo looks at his Aunt and slowly lets go of his death grip on her as she nods at him with assurance. 

As if telling him that Soonyoung’s safe. He won’t hurt you.

She then turns to the portrait of her son and with tears anew, and starts the prayer. Soonyoung and Wonwoo watch from behind her, waiting their turn to make their offerings.

*

“Mingyu loved cooking, you know?” His mother tells the pair over a quiet lunch. 

They’d moved to a small restaurant after finishing the memorial rites and it had been thirty minutes since anyone spoke. Mrs Kim must’ve thought talking would somewhat brighten the tense atmosphere.

“He loved cooking, stitching, cleaning the house,” she laughs gently as she says the last part. “Sometimes his father would grouch that he was supposed to be born a girl instead.”

“That’s why you called him your little baby girl, right, Mrs Kim?” Soonyoung smiles at the woman, chuckling at the memory of when Mingyu had told him that years ago.

The woman laughs heartily at that, nodding her head and wiping away some of her tears as she continues, “he used to love it when I called him that. Used to say that it made him feel special.”

“Only Mingyu would like that nickname,” Soonyoung shakes his head smiling endearingly.

The atmosphere sombers down again but Mrs Kim doesn’t let the silence reign. She huffs a sigh and holds Wonwoo hand across the table, rubbing it gently as she continues, “he was so very fond of Wonwoo.” 

Before she can continue they’re waiter brings their order and Wonwoo thanks the heavens that his Aunt was interrupted. But, soon as the waiter leaves she starts speaking again.

“Your mother was so young when she left us, my child. I remember the day you came into our home to live with us. All those things you had to suffer…” she tells the man, sighing sadly as she picks up her chopsticks. Wonwoo and Soonyoung follow suit, waiting for her to take the first bite. “Mingyu really cared for you a lot, Wonwoo. In fact, I used to joke with him that he was your mother. He reminded me so much of her. I’m sure that’s why it was easy for you two to get along as well, right?”

Wonwoo doesn’t speak and simply nods his head. And Soonyoung can tell with the way Wonwoo’s hands clutch desperately on to the table cloth, that the conversation makes him uneasy. He can’t fathom why it would but it makes him uneasy to watch his husband uncomfortable like that. Still, he can’t exactly stop Mingyu’s mother from speaking either so he does the second best thing he can think of.

He opens the rice bowl for Wonwoo and brings the man’s hand towards the chopsticks, mumbling “eat.”

He’s not sure how that helps but the action does make Mingyu’s mother stop talking—for a while at least. But it doesn’t last as she continues talking about Mingyu and Wonwoo and their childhood and Soonyoung doesn’t understand why Wonwoo looks more and more terrified of the subject but after some while, Soonyoung changes the topic of the conversation to Mingyu’s father.

“Mr Kim didn’t come with you, Mrs Kim?”

The woman freezes mid-bite and sends a worried glance towards Wonwoo before changing the subject again, “I packed some food for you two so don’t forget to take it before leaving for Seoul.”

Soonyoung frowns at the subject change but doesn’t speak of it. A side glance at Wonwoo gives him enough insight to know that Mingyu’s father is probably off topic for the man and that Mingyu’s mother is aware of the fact. He’s exceedingly confused by everything now but his husband is scratching his arms almost hypnotically and that worries him.

He stops Wonwoo from scratching his skin out by holding his hands back. His hands are small and Wonwoo could easily escape the grip but he doesn’t. He stops scratching but doesn’t look up.

Mrs Kim seems to sense the tension between them as Wonwoo tries to get Soonyoung to let go but fails to make him lose his grip. She clears her throat breaking the moment and smiles at them looking out the window as she says, “you two better head back to Seoul now. It’s already starting to dark out, it’ll be night the time you two get back home. With traffic and all…”

Wonwoo stays quiet and Soonyoung follows suit as they let Mingyu’s mother pay for the food (something she’d insisted on). And then they follow her out to the main entrance again.

“Wonwoo, dear. Could you clear up the Myojae supplies for me please?”

He quickly nods his head and leaves Soonyoung and his Aunt near the entrance of the restaurant. And soon as he leaves Mrs Kim turns to Soonyoung before the man can excuse himself to go help his husband.

“Soonyoung,” she mumbles, eyes downcast. “I know you felt that awkward air between us when you asked about Mingyu’s father. I know you chose not to speak of it because you didn’t want to upset us more.”

“I… figured it’s a family matter that… I shouldn’t get involved.”

“Are you not family then?”

“I am but—“

“Wonwoo was 13 when he started living with us,” she tells him in a hurry. And Soonyoung figures it’s because she doesn’t want to speak in front of Wonwoo, so he lets her speak. “Mingyu’s father never approved of his living with us. We weren’t living the best lives back then and having another mouth to feed was tough. We fought a lot and more often than not it was about Wonwoo staying with us. And all that anger was usually taken out on Wonwoo. Mingyu was too young to stop him and I was too weak.” 

“He didn’t abuse him enough to warrant police action or anything but…” she adds so as not to let him get the wrong idea. Soonyoung tries to process the sudden influx of information being shoved at him but it only makes his mind hurt. But the woman doesn’t seem to care for his nerves as she continues, “but it was enough to ruin his childhood… enough to make it impossible for him to function without someone always there with him. There for him. Comforting him. He needed a protector and—“

“And Mingyu was the protector…”

Mingyu’s mother nods her head and bites her lips, guilt evident in her eyes as she continues in a quiet voice, “once Mingyu was old enough he would stop his father. They fought a lot about it but Mingyu never let Wonwoo hurt again. He always protected Wonwoo like an elder brother. He was younger but…”

She looks up at him then. Crying again but this time for her adopted son. “And if that wasn’t enough, Wonwoo’s ex-husband…” She can’t continue speaking and Soonyoung finds him incapable of helping her so all he does is patiently wait for her to regain her composure.

She’s about to speak again but that’s when Wonwoo comes back, carrying the bag full of empty lunch boxes and the ceremonial tablet and Mingyu’s portrait.

He stands beside Soonyoung smiling at his Aunt, waiting for her to shoo them off. And sure enough she kisses his temple goodbye muttering an innocent “take care”, and sends them off.

*

When they get back to their apartment it's 9pm. Wonwoo excuses himself to the bathroom and Soonyoung decides to make some kimchi stew for dinner. 

He’s adding blocks of tofu in the stew when he hears Wonwoo enter the kitchen. Over his shoulders he tells the man, “could you check the rice please, Wonwoo?”

Robotically, his husband moves to the rice cooker to check the water level and closes it when he sees it’s still got some water remaining. Soonyoung waits for some kind of confirmation but when he doesn’t receive any response he turns around to find Wonwoo leaning against the countertop, eyes bloodshot, looking utterly broken.

But that’s not what makes Soonyoung shiver in fear. It’s Wonwoo’s scratched up arms.

Soonyoung moves on autopilot. Racing towards his husband as he stands limply, watching him reach overhead for the first aid kit.

The gashes are deep and almost sinister. Red and bloody, some are quite deep considering they are self inflicted and done by just his nails. 

Soonyoung douses them with alcohol first but is at a loss at what he should do next. They don’t have enough bandage to wrap the wound, and neither is the injury severe enough to warrant one. But he also doesn’t want to leave it open lest risk infection.

“Just… let it go,” Wonwoo tells him then. Speaking for the first time since that morning. “It’ll heal itself.”

And it’s only then that Soonyoung realises that they’re standing way too close. He can see the tear tracks on Wonwoo’s cheeks and can imagine Wonwoo seeing the dark circles under his eyes. Wonwoo is flushed red and his lips are swollen from biting them too hard and Soonyoung’s heart breaks at the image of the man.

He’s scared—terrified, in fact—and he’s not sure who to trust. It’s clear as day in the way Wonwoo edges back into the countertop despite it digging into his lower back that Wonwoo doesn’t trust Soonyoung. That he’s rather scared of him but doesn’t show.

Soonyoung tries looking into his husband’s eyes but when he finds Wonwoo straining to avoid eye contact, he steps closer to the man. And slipping his arm around his back, pulls Wonwoo closer to himself, turning around so that the countertop isn’t digging into his back.

“Let’s eat,” he says and moves back to the stew, leaving Wonwoo to set the table.

They eat in silence and move lethargically as they clean up and get ready for bed.

And lying in bed, staring up at the ceiling, Soonyoung decides to speak.

“What’s your favourite memory with Mingyu?”

Wonwoo doesn’t give a reply and Soonyoung doesn’t force him to, instead chuckles warmly remembering his own. 

“Mine is when we went to a skating range for our third date.” He recalls, turning to his side so that he’s looking at Wonwoo. Wonwoo turns his head, alarmed at the sudden movement, but doesn’t move away. “He was the one who had suggested it. And the entire day all he did was fall on his butt! I swear when he first stepped onto the ice he looked like a baby giraffe who’d just learnt walking.”

And just like that laughter fills the bedroom. With Wonwoo snickering giddily at the mental image and Soonyoung laughing out loud at the memory. 

They fall silent after a while but Wonwoo fills it with a whisper. Soonyoung is proud that he could make Wonwoo feel confident enough to speak.

“Back when Mingyu was in highschool,” his husband tells him, “he was crazy about fashion designing.” 

“I didn’t know he was into fashion design?”

“He was,” Wonwoo says, turning to his side so he’s face to face with Soonyoung. “So he entered a competition to test his skills out, but a day before the contest he found out it was a girls only event.”

Soonyoung starts giggling as he listens to Wonwoo, “I can already imagine where this is going.”

Wonwoo nods his head, finding it hard to speak as he recounts, “so he asked me to steal makeup from Aunty’s room and dress him up as a girl! And then, bought a wig and a miniskirt just to attend the contest!”

Laughter bursts into the room at the anecdote and both husbands are rolling in the bed, tears in their eyes for a completely different reason. Soonyoung finds some composure in the chaos and wheezes asking, “so wait. Did he win or not?”

Wonwoo is laughing so hard he finds it hard to even give a reply and just shakes his head in denial.

By the time they cool down both are heaving with remnants of the laughter clinging to their lips as they look at each other. 

“I even took a photo of him that day,” Wonwoo tells Soonyoung. “I’ll show it to you someday.”

And they continue talking that night. About Mingyu and all these crazy little stunts and stories. And Soonyoung feels a little closer to Wonwoo. For a night, Soonyoung only lives to make Wonwoo forget the pain of Mingyu’s death.

Because when Soonyoung lost a soulmate, Wonwoo lost a loving brother.

[goodbye-i-need-space]

This matchup is for ★ Anon (I messaged you, so you know who you are ~) - - - Here is what I got for you:

Lucifer definitely would approve of you. You keep quiet most of the time and like to think before acting, unlike most people he lives with. It’s refreshing and he’s hoping that you will leave at least a little bit of a lasting impression on his brothers. If you ever receive direct praise from Diavolo you know who's responsible for it.

Barbatos: I recently learned that this man is able to see into the future! Like wheeeew that’s big news. Maybe he’ll answer a few of your questions if you’re looking for some information about upcoming movies or other events you're interested in. He’s very busy though so choose your questions carefully.

Beelzebub: I feel like you both share your sense of apathy. I’m not saying that you two don’t have any passions you would stand up for, but when the other demons living in the House of Lamentation bicker about more or less trivial things, you and Beel usually keep out of it. Same thing goes for Belphegor although he seems more likely than you two to join in on some playful or even serious banter from time to time.

Ohhh by the way! You will often find yourself getting dragged into Levi’s room by the hardcore Otaku himself, especially after he finds out that you draw AND like to create your own characters. He would be so into it aasdfgasadg! PLEASE help him make his Oc’s come to live with your art skills! While he sometimes draws as well he's aware that his creations aren't the best boi is so so jealous of you. Levi has a ton of character ideas in his mind though so if you ever lack inspiration its a win/win situation ~

Simeon: He’s a bit concerned about you since he notices your lack of emotional response to certain topics. Due to that the already kind angel tries to act even nicer when he's around you. On the other hand he is well aware that your apathy helps with keeping a straight head and staying out of trouble which is especially helpful when you live in a house full of demons. He’s just hoping you do have some way to express your feelings and don’t bottle them up inside too much.

Luke and you really do make a strange pair whenever you two are in the same room. You’re just such opposites! While he get's easily offended by other peoples comments you're often immune to them and his anger tantrums. Try patting his head, it might calm him down a little! probably not but it would still be a fun thing to do lmao

Satan 100% loves how quirky you are and is great with helping you get back on track should you go on one of your rants and forget what it is you were talking about. If you need a quiet room to draw or someone to share ideas with there’s a good chance that he wouldn't mind sharing the peaceful atmosphere of his room with you. He wouldn’t even mind if you want to listen to some music as long as it’s something he can stand.

You will probably have very limited contact with Asmodeus, since at least three of the demon brothers are very concerned about your safety and well-being. Especially Mammon won’t give his lusty brother any chance to get too close to you. It’s a shame though since Amso really likes your style, ugh !

Finally the person I ship you the most with is Mammon!

YO this might seem like a strange choice to ship you with but hear me out!

When Mammon first meets you he hates your guts. Here he is, bragging about himself and how you are just a defenseless human being that needs his help. He'd expect some sort of negative response from you after that since that's usually what he get's from others but you're just like "Mhm whatever." To him it feels like you're trying to ignore him at first, that is until he notices you acting like this around the others too. You don't often get angry/sad/etc. at him which in the end is the reason why he get's a bit softer with the way he words things around you. It's cuz he feels bad when he shoves an insult your way and you just take it without really reacting to it. 

Mammon also starts getting soft for you wayyy before he realizes it and if you're lucky you may be able to catch him cooing at the way you talk, act or dress when you're not wearing the RAD uniform.

Another big plus is that you enjoy watching Disney movies, since I feel like this man doesn't have the attention span for a lot of other genres. Disney movies are easy to follow and he still get's into them so much, so be prepared to witness this immortal being crying waterfalls at Mufasa's death scene.

It really came as a surprise to you when one day the Avatar of Greed came knocking at your door in a fury just to request you to draw something for him, a character design to be specific. The fact that he wanted something wasn’t the surprising part about it since the white haired demon always seemed to be looking for stuff he could add to his never ending collection of things. He really is greedy after all. The real question that occupied your mind after his very urgent sounding request was for what reason Mammon would need a character design?

Usually for him to want something it was because he could either make a lot of money out of it or gain some personal pleasure out of it. While you doubted your art was good enough to sell it for a high price you also doubted he wanted to keep it, especially after you asked him for what character he wanted drawn and he gave you the most ridiculous answer ever.

"Uh Mammon, are you sure you want me to draw you as a flip flop wearing spider??"

"Oi, don't ask why! I need it okay!"

He's panics a little when you snicker at him.

Did he make a fool out of himself? Was the request too strange? 

It was a strange request, but since the idea of illustrating a flip flop wearing spider, looking like Mammon also seemed like a cute and fun thing to you you decided to give it a try.

- Secretly keeps every drawing he got from you locked away safely inside his room. They're his now, he won't share them with anyone. - Once he's gotten his first drawing from you there's no way he'll stop pestering you for more (His requests get weirder every time he does so) - You threw one of your classroom sketches into the trash? Watch him go fishing for it after everyone left the class so he can display it on his senpai shrine later    ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

(That's it! Hopefully my english isn't too bad in this. I feel like some of my sentences are pretty well written while others have "Me like TRAINS :) " energy ufff --) If someone gets confused about something I've written, or notices any mistakes feel free to let me know!

"I feel like you both share your sense of apathy" felt like a wrong sentence but I couldn't come up with a right way to word it so I'd love to hear some feedback from any of you ~

[staycatcher]

Anguish 001- Anguish

“Out  of  genuine  free  will,  I,  Lee  Minho,  exercise  the  divine  right  to  reject  my  sacredly  designed  soulmate.”

Member: Lee  Minho / Lee  Know  x  Femme  Reader  (she / her)

Au: Frat Boi! Minho  +  Rejected  Soulmate  AU

Genre: Angst  (some  comedy?,,  this  series  is  gonna  be  angsty  because  of  the  whole  ‘rejected  soulmate’  thing)

Rated  T  for  a  whole  lotta  swearing,  a  frat  party,  crowds,  usage  of  alcohol  and  mentions  of  drugs,  intensity,  reader  is  a  bit  socially  anxious (please  lmk  if  any  other  warnings  are  needed!💞🥺)

Word Count:  4k  &  manually  double  spaced  between  words  &  paragraphs  for  ease  of  reading!!!!🥵🤠🥰

Note: this is dedicated to @trixareforlix, they’re the first-ever friend I made on here and they’re the one who sparked this frat au idea!! Ilysm always angel!!<33

Edited: 201015 (Original: 190813 )

Anguish series 1/?-  ~001~, 002

The  anticipated  day  where  you’d  become  magnetized,  the  world  around  you  becoming  a  blur,  your  heart  falling  into  perfect  sync  with  the  one  destined  for  you  truly… was  not  like  that  at  all,  actually!  No,  the  stars  were  cruel  to you,  perhaps  you  did  something  awful  in  your  past  life  to   deserve  this,  but  maybe  what  is  more  likely  is  that  your  soulmate’s  just  an  asshole.  After  all,  one’s  soulmate  was  the  complete  opposite  of  one’s  self.  Soulmates  were  the  yin  to  one’s  yang  and  vice  versa  and  all  that.  To  keep  one  balanced,  or  whatever. 

Now,  you  aren’t  the  angel  everyone  may  claim  you  to  be.  You  weren’t  angelic,  not  at  all.  Eating  ice  cream  for  breakfast  was  not  above  you.  Your  nail  polish  was  perpetually  chipped.  You  couldn’t  stand  to  keep  your  hair  in  the  same  style  for  too  long;  chopping  it  all  off  or  seeing  how  long  it  could  grow,  dying  it  as  bright  as  you  could,  and  everything  in  between.  You  adorned  yourself  with  two  or  three  more  piercings  than  your  parents  could  get  behind,  bless  them,  you’re  beginning  to  have  trouble  hiding  your  new  tattoo.  Habitually,  you  were  sensitive,  soft,  a  bit  emotional,  and  tended  to  be  a  bit  of  a  smartass.  You  weren’t  blessed  with  physical  grace,  ceaselessly  tripping  over  yourself,  spilling  and  knocking  over  anything  in  your  path,  and  dancing  out  of  beat  to  blasted  songs. 

More  often  than  not,  you  would  go  to  bed  later  than  planned.  Tonight  was  one  of  those  nights,  but  it  was  not  because  of  your  natural  preference.  You  were  not  too  figuratively  dragged  into  this  by  someone  who  held  the  title  of  your  best  friend,  someone  whom  you  were  currently  thinking  of  ways  of  revoking  that  title  from. 

  “C’mon,  dummy!  We’re  almost  there!”  Jamie  elbowed  you,  her  eyes  crinkled  in  laughter,  whacking  you  on  the  back  a  bit  too  hard. 

 “Jamie,  I  must’ve  forgotten,  but  why’re  you  even  dragging me  to  this  frat  party  again?  Why  not  just  go  to  your  sorority  instead?”  You  groaned,  your  two  left  feet  were  dragging  behind  you  on  the  aged  sidewalk,  your  fake  Doc  Martens  feeling  like  cinder  blocks. 

“‘Cause  Chris  invited  me  and  he’s  being  a  little  bitch  about  it  because  I  keep  canceling  on  ‘im!  He  keeps  saying  that  my  soulmate  might  be  there!”  She  reminded  you  for  the  umpteenth  time,  rolling  her  head  and  eyes  back  in  frustration,  sighing  before  continuing.  “And  now  it’s  like-  I  might  as  well  try  and  see!  I  mean,  come  on!~  I’m  starting  to  think  he’s  right!”  And  for  the  umpteenth  time  today,  you  question  why  she’s  falling  for  this.  She’s  sharper  than  this.  But  for  some  reason,  just  this  once,  she  found  a way  to  shoehorn  Chris’s  dumbassery  to  logic. 

 In  reality,  you  could  meet  your  soulmate  at  any  time  or  place,  so  to  say  that  one's  soulmate  might  be  there  is  like  saying  it  might  rain.  Sure,  it  might.  But  it  also  can  rain  in  any  season  so  you  can’t  be  wrong  with  saying  that  it  might.  It  doesn’t  always  rain  every  day,  all  the  time,  so  it  also  isn’t  that  likely.  Rain  depends  on  a  lot  more  factors.  But  right  now,  you’re  a  little  buzzed,  so  it  sounded  pretty  sound. 

 “So  he  knows  your  soulmate?” 

 “I’d  hope  so!  If  not,  I’d  rip  his  bleached  hay-hair  right  out  of  his  thick  skull!”  Now,  this  is  the  Jamie  you  knew  and  loved,  you  couldn't  help  the  endeared  smile  on  your  face.  “When  we  could’ve  been  eating  takeout  and  watching  a  musical-“

 “So  which  frat  are  we  going  to  again?”  You  had  to  interrupt  her  for  her  sake.  Takeout  and  a  movie  would  always  remain  superior  to  parties  in  your  mind  and  you  already  didn’t  want  to  be  accompanying  her  to  a  frat  house. 

 “Hmm…  It’s  like-  uh...  Signal  kite  zing-  wait  no-  hold  on-“

You  guys  must  be  tipsier  from  the  pregaming  than  you  thought.  “Sigma?  ‘Signal’  isn’t  greek,  I  think  you  mean  sigma!  And  ‘kite’  isn-”

 “Right,  whatever!  Anyways,  the  abbreviation  is  SKZ-“

 “Ohhh!  We’re  friends  with  some  of  them-  We’re  like  best  friends  with  Chris!!  Why  didn’t  you  say  it  was  Chris’s  frat  in  the  first  place?”  Your  laugh  projecting  out  of  you  unattractively  with  claps  and  swings  of  limbs  which  led  to  slapping  a  little  too  hard  at  Jamie's  shoulder.  This  clarification  did  make  you  feel  a  bit  better.  This  wasn’t  a  shitty  fraternity  you  didn’t  know,  this  was  a  shitty  fraternity  you  inevitably  tolerated  since  you  knew  and  even  approved  of  some  of  its  members! 

 SKZ  was  home  to  a  hodgepodge  of  eight  brothers  who  were  pretty  individual  as  far  as  frat  dudes  go.  Some  of  which  you  were  genuinely  fond  of,  like  Chris,  or  simply  acquainted  with,  like  Jisung,  whom  you  shared  a major  and  program  with.  Others,  you  couldn’t  even  remember  the  names  of  or  who  they  are  in  general.  It’s  also  the  smallest  frat  on  campus,  so  they  try  to  get  as  many  people  to  come  to  events  as  possible,  which  is  honestly  exhausting  as  a  concept  to  your  introverted  self.  Thus,  you’ve  never  actually  attended  one  of  theirs  until  now,  now  that  Jamie  is  dragging  you  along  with  her.

 “Ow!  I  don’t  know!~  I  thought  you  were  smart  enough  to  figure  it  out  when  I  mentioned  Chris!”  She  teased,  making  the  two  of  you  laugh  harder,  you  couldn’t  defend  yourself  on  that  one.  The  two  of  you  just  continued  your  idiotic  banter  the  rest  of  the  way  to  the  Sigma  Kappa  Zeta  house  aka  the  SKZ  frat.  

 The  walk  to  SKZ’s  lair  was  a  bit  much,  more  than  you  and  Jamie  bargained  for.  You  were  so  kindly  carrying  her  platforms  for  her  until  she’ll  put  them  back  on  again,  only  for  you  to  probably  end  up  kindly  carrying  them  again  later  tonight.  The  cool  breeze  of  the  September  night  helped  with  the  humidity  and  sweat,  and  the  sun  beautifully  set,  leaving  a  delicate  lilac  color  in  its  wake  which  was  becoming  darker  and  darker  the  further  you  walked.  The  hazy  streetlights  added  to  the  whimsy  atmosphere,  yet  to  be  ruined  with  the  sound  of  an  intolerable  amount  of  bass  and  the  overbearing  smell  of  beer  and  weed  when  the two  of  you  arrived  on  site.  

 “Okay,  I’m  pretty  sure  it’s  this  house!”  Jamie  halted  her  steps,  turning  towards  you,  her  hair  swaying  along  with  the  belled  sleeves  of  her  mesh  turtleneck  she  had  under  her  dress.  The  two  of  you  really  dolled  yourselves  up  for  the  night,  her  hair  was  perfect,  your  hair  was  perfect,  outside  was  perfect,  and  it  brought  you  sobering  back  to  the  not-so-perfect  earth.  The  idea  of  going  inside  a  suffocating,  putrid  house  majorly  crowded  with  drunk  and  hormonal  peers...  was  not  appealing  to  you  in  the  least.   

 “Yup,  and  now  it’s  time  to  turn  back  around!”  You  quipped,  ensnaring  her  arm  with  your  empty  one,  about  to  steer  the  two  of  you  in  a  three-point-turn.  This  was  your  final  chance  at  getting  out  of  your  predicament,  and  now  that  you’re  here  you  regret  playing  along.  Sadly,  Jamie  was  just  as  stubborn  as  you,  and  your  turn  around  was  met  with  a  roadblock. 

 “Oh  my  god,  Y/n,  you’re  joking!  We  walked  the  whole  ass  way  here!”  She  got  out  in  between  puffs  of  airy  frustration,  her  socked  heels  digging  into  the  ground  as  you  attempted,  gracelessly,  to  steer  the  two  of  you  around.    

 “Okay,  okay,  fine.  We  did  come  all  this  way  and  now  our  drinks’ve  worn  off.”  You  acknowledged  with  an  irritated  huff.  “Okay-  how  about  we  go  in  and  get  some  drinks,  and  then  we’ll  leave?!”  Your  pitch  going  up  with  each  word  of  your  attempt  to  negotiate  before  forcing  out  a  chuckle,  your  laugh  did  its  best  to  hide  the  fact  that  your  body  was  beginning  to  stick  with  sweat  and  anxiety. 

“No,  ‘and  then’  we’ll  find  Chris  to  hook  me  up!”  She  playfully  fought  back  but  it  was  hard  to  take  her  seriously,  or  yourself,  with  how  the  two  of  you  were  laughing,  hers  genuine,  yours  not  so  much.  

 “Jesus  Christ,  you  really  are  set  on  this  ‘finding  your  soulmate’  thing.”  You  breathed.  As  much  as  you  hated  social  gatherings,  you  loved  your  best  friend  much,  much  more,  therefore  you  were  willing  to  be  won  over  in  the  name  of  friendship.  Though,  she  would  owe  you  for  this!  Fortunately  for  her,  food  and  drink  is  fair  trade  in  you  and  your  wallet’s  eyes. 

 “I’m  lonely,  okay!  I’d  prefer  winning  the  lottery  but  this  is  the  next  best  thing!”  Jamie,  as  per  usual,  brought  the  two  you  back  right  to  laughter  instantly.  She  had  her  mind  made  up.  Plus,  with  you  giggling  it  made  it  all  the  easier  for  her  to  haul  the  both  of  you  right  up  the  steps  of  the  SKZ  Frat  House  stairs.   

Once  in,  Jamie  stuck  close  to  your  side,  literally,  but  not  that  she  had  the  natural  choice  or  much  of  an  alternative;  this  place  was  packed  to   the  gills!  Jumping  up  on  her  now  platform  clad  feet,  looking  for  anyone  she  recognized  or  any  signs  of  Chris,  while  you  led  the  two  of  you,  hopefully,  to  a  kitchen.  You  were  practically  kicking  yourself  each  step  of  the  way  as  you  shoved  your  way  through  the  crowd.  The  air  was  stuffy  and  possibly  even  toxic,  to  say  the  least.  The  scent  is  much  more  foul  than  last  you  remember,  pungent  with  alcohol,  sweat,  cigarettes,  weed,  hints  of  puke,  and  dashes  of  all  sorts  of  pheromones.  Despite  the  few  times  you’ve  smelled  this  scent,  it  never  failed  to  make  you  wish  you  didn’t  leave  your  safe,  sanitary  bed.   

 There’s  jabbing  elbows  and  flailing  parts  of  strangers  everywhere  that  had  to  be  watched  out  and  dodged  for,  sloshing  cups,  sometimes  drunken  flirtatious  hands  grabbing  at  you,  not  at  all  fazed  by  the  pretty  companion  you  had  your  elbow  linked  with.  The  sway  of  the  hoards  of  people  was  beginning  to  get  you  motion  sick,  but  you  were  determined  to  keep  wading  through,  trying  to  hike  through  this  high  tide,  but  you  couldn’t  help  but  feel  vulnerable.  You  were  cursed  with  a  soft,  approachable  face  that  just  begged  to  be  messed  with.  Even  in  times  like  these,  where  your  thoughts  are  nothing  short  of  bitchy,  the  message  would  never  get  across  with  a  resting  bitch  face.  Your  love  for  dark  attire  didn’t  matter.  Your  baby  face  and  aura  won  every  match.  Not  even  the  eyeliner  and  dark  lipstick  you  preferred  could  save  you.  All  you  could  do  is  hope  that  your  best  friend’s  intimidation  and  delightfully  loud  presence  was  enough  for  the  two  of  you  as  you  keep  planting  one  foot  after  the  other.  

“Fucking  hell!”  You  barely  gasped  out,  finally  freed  out  of  the  main  room,  and  now  into  the  hallway.  The  seasick  claustrophobia  no  longer  had  its  poisonous  grips  on  your  soft,  easy  to  bruise  skin,  though,  you  did  need  to  catch  your  breath.  

 “Finally!”  Jamie  sighed  loudly  and  melodically,  patting  you  on  the  back  and  easily  recovering.  Before  she  headed  straight  into  the kitchen  to  scope  out  the  place,  possibly  for  anyone  she  knew  and,  perhaps,  her   Special  Someone.  

 “So  did  ya  see  anyone  you  knew,  Jame?”  You  called  after  her  upon  entering  what  appeared  to  be  a  stereotypical  scene  of  the  kitchen  during  a  college  party.  Cliche  red  solo  cups  scattered  everywhere,  filled  at  varying  degrees.  A  beer  keg  or  two,  some  cheap  bottles  of  vodka  splayed  about,  remnants  of  ash  from  blunts,  a  couple  or  two  aggressively  making  out  against  the  wall,  and  four  or  five  random  stragglers  fidgeting  with  their  phone or  talking  overly  loudly  to  each  other.  You  know,  the  usual.  

“Ughh,  no”  She  answered  reluctantly.  “They  have  to  be  somewhere  else,  maybe,  like  upstairs  or  downstairs,  right?!”  

Before  you  could  reply,  behind  you,  you  heard  an  enthusiastic  “Jamie!!”  then  a  muffled,  “you  finally  made  it!!”  The  familiar  voice  had  you  jerking  your  head  to  see  if  your  ears  were  failing  you,  evidently,  they  weren’t.  Right  away  you  see  Chris  tackling  Jamie  in  a  hug  before  he  met  your  eyes  with  his  comically  wide  ones.  

“Aaaahhh!!  Y/n’s  here  too?!”

 “Yeah!  Don’t  we  look  cute?”  Jamie  fluffed  up  her  cropped,  newly  dyed  hair  you  helped  her  do,  yours  also  in  a  similar  state.   

“Yeah,  but  Y/n  looks  better.”  He  teased,  giggling  and  slapping  her  in  the  arm;  unsurprising,  as  it’s  their  usual  fashion.   

“Oh  my  god!  Why  did  I  come  here?!  Okay,  we’ll  leave  then,  Chris.”  Jamie  joked  right  back  at  him,  snatching  at  your  hand  like  it  was  a  prize  to  be  won  and  taking  you  away  with  her.  Unfortunately  for  you,  this  was  just  a  well-meaning  joke,  you  weren’t  going  to  be  set  free  from  a  party  anytime  soon.   

 “Nooo!  Don’t  go!!”  He  dramatized,  grabbing  onto  at  Jamie,  halting  her  from  leaving  with  you  in  tow.  Giggling  so  hard,  he  had  to  throw  his  head  back  to  project  it  all.  You  snorted  a  “thank  you”  a  bit  late,  too  busy  laughing.  He  just  gave  you  a  brotherly  slap  on  the  arm,  on  his  way  to  leave  before  Jamie  stopped  him.  

“Wait!  What  about  my  soulmate?  You  said  they'd  be  here,  remember!”  

“Oh?”  Chris’s  eyebrows  scrunched  in  confusion,  Jamie  nodded  with  stern  wide  eyes  which  seemed  to  spark  back  his  doubtful  memory,  “Ahhh…  downstairs…  maybe…  I  think-  hangin’  out!  There’s  a  game  about  to  start-  Oh,  yeah!  That’s  why  I’m  here-”  he  giggled  to  himself,  “to  get  this!”  He  then  snatched  a  full  bottle  of  vodka  from  a  sneaky  cabinet  you  didn’t  know  about  before  ushering  you  guys  along  to  follow  him.  Honestly,  Chris  didn’t  make  it  sound  too  promising  that  Jamie’s  soulmate  could  be  down  there,  but  it’s  the  best  lead  you  got.   

Shyly,  you  followed  behind  the  two  as  he  led  the  way  to  the  basement.  With  Chris  as  your  guide,  it  was  relatively  smooth  sailing,  the  crowd  parting  minimally  to  make  way  for  the  president  of  the  frat.  Before  you  know  it,  you’re  walking  down  some  nasty  ass  carpeted  stairs,  forcing  your  eyes  from  questionable  stains  to  look  for  a  rail  instead  to  hold  onto.  Strangely  enough,  walking  down  the  steps  was  comforting  somehow,  the  feeling  as  if  it  were  inviting  you  in.  Like  it  assigned  you  a  duty  instead  of  the  alienating  fish  out  of  water  experience  you  had  earlier  on  the  main  floor.   

 “I  picked  up  some  stragglers!”  Chris  cheered  as  he  turned  into  the  room.   

 “Yeah,  but  did  you  bring  the  alcohol?”  A  brazen  voice  you’ve  never  heard  before  shot  straight  through  you.  You  could  feel  it  run  through  you  with  tingles  down  your  spine  and  goosebumps  up  your  arms.   

“Hell  yeah  I  did,  ya  jackass!”  

 When  the  two  of  you  turned  the  corner,  the  world  slowed  down  and  your  muscles  instantly  seized  up,  halting  you  into  place  without  consent.  Your  insides  clench  tight,  wrapping  itself  into  a  knot.  Suddenly  you  were  sweating,  but  in  contrast,  your  vision  looked  as  though  you  were  looking  through  a  nice  refreshing  glass  of  pink  lemonade.  Normally  steady  hands  were  now  shaky,  your  ears  and  cheeks  beginning  to  glow  beet  red.  You  could  feel  yourself  beginning  to  sweat  at  the  nape  of  your  neck  and  underarms;  all  this  from  the  sudden  voice  of  the  stranger!  -What?  What’s  going  on?!-    

 Immediately,  your  gaze  pans  around  the  room  before  they  landed  on  the  source,  long-lashed  eyes  holding  a  dark  chocolate  glaze  and  shivering  you  to  the  bone.  Like  a  hooked  fish,  you  couldn’t  look  away.  The  initial  astonishment  of  just  the  sensations  couldn‘t  compare  to  exploring  the  face  in  front  of  you.  

 Chiseled  cheeks,  and  angular  brows.  Pouty  naturally  downturned  lips  were  discovered  underneath  an  impossibly  perfect,  pointy  nose.  Everything  about  him  was  like  the  artwork,  his  slightly  covered  forehead  was  somehow  artistic  as  if  even  the  space  between  the  brow  and  the  hairline  was  something  new  that  your  narrow  mind  could  never  possibly  understand.  His  hairline  soon  revealed  a  head  of  luscious  black  hair,  unrealistically  voluminous,  shiny  and  soft.  Honestly,  his  hair  was  screaming  at  you  to  test  out  if  it  could  be  possible,  that  someone  who  looked  like  this  was  real.  His  entire  face  and  head  on  his  shoulders  didn’t  make  conceivable  sense.  Maybe  it’s  just  you,  but  a  person  this  perfect  couldn’t  exist  and  you  have  yet  to  venture  south  to  see  how  perfect  the  rest  of  him  could  possibly  be.    

 “Y/n?  Are- are  you  okay?”  

 You  vaguely  felt  or  heard  your  best  friend  at  your  side,  but  it  wasn’t  decipherable.  Everything  but  this  guy  in  front  of  you  was  fuzzy,  blurry  to  you.  All  the  energy  in  your  being  focused  on  this  human  in  front  of  you.  His  silky,  messily  parted  locks,  begging  for  you  to  test  if  it  was  as  soft  as  it  looked.  His  sharp  features.  His  lips  a  natural  coral-y  color  that  began  to  shine  and  glimmer  with  saliva  as  his  glossy  tongue  began  to  trail  along  those  chapped  lips.  You  shot  your  eyes  back  to  his,  reeling  you  back  in  like  the  prey  you  began  to  feel.  Oh,  sweet,  sweet  baby  Jesus,  is  this  really  happening?!

 “I-“  both  of  you  started  at  the  same  time.  Embarrassingly  enough,  it  seems  as  though  the  blurry  figures  of  everyone  else  in  the  corner  of  your  eyes  caught  on  to  something  the  two  of  you  were  oblivious  to.  Everyone  started  jumping  and  screaming,  whooping  chaotically,  and  taking  over  your  vision.  The  slow  world  disappeared  in  a  blink,  launching  you  right  back  to  its  now  rapid,  woozy  speed.  With  everyone  pushing  and  shoving  around  you  in  excitement  it  was  not  at  all  helping  with  your  wibbly-wobbly  state.  

Suddenly,  you  felt  many  different  arms  coming  at  you,  wrapping  around  you,  constricting  you,  and  jumping  around  with  you  in  their  arms  in  excitement.  There was  a  deafening  amount  of  rambunctious  hooting  and  hollering  it  was  almost  as  if  the  team  they  were  rooting  for  won  the  SuperBowl.  

 “And  here  I  thought  Y/n  was  Jamie’s  soulmate!”  Chris  guffawed  and  they  all  joined  in,  all  besides  you  and  this  guy- WAIT-  did  Chris  say-  say  ‘soulmate’??  No,  he  couldn’t  have!  

 “Soulmate?”  Equally,  as  soon  as  you  internally  questioned  the  word  choice,  you  heard  his  earth-shattering  voice  speak  again,  despite  the  fact  he  merely  whispered,  softly  wondering  aloud.  He  spoke  aloud  what  you  were  thinking,  right  when  you  thought  it!   

 You  couldn’t  get  enough  of  his  voice,  especially  now  when  you  can’t  see  him  in  the  crowd.  His  voice  was  light,  honey-colored,  dreamy,  just  the  perfect  amount  of  deep,  it  made  you  want  to  taste  his  lips  to  see  if  he’s  as  sweet  as  he  sounded.  You,  yourself,  were  still  in  the  locked-in-place  state,  still  too  shell  shocked  to  even  make  a  step  forward,  your  poor  brain  overworking  itself  to  make  sense  of  any  of  this.   

 “Really?”  In  elated  shock  you  chirped,  slowly  giving  in  to  the  hugs  and  excited  jumping  with  wide  and  confused  eyes.  Is  this  for  real?  This  is  really  happening?!  

“Holy  fuck,  Y/n!”  Jamie  managed  to  get  you,  pulling  you  a  bit  too  crushingly  in  a  hug.  “I  can’t  believe  it!  You  found  your  soulmate  in  this  shitty  basement  and  not  me!”  She  playfully  teased,  there  was  no  ill  will  behind  it.   

 By  now  the  situation  was  beginning  to  sink  in  a  teeny  bit  and  you  were  shocked,  to  say  the  least.  Frankly,  you  were  starting  to  think  that  this  day  would  never  come.  You  had  a  soulmate  and  your  soulmate  looked  like  that!  You  were  over  the  moon,  even  if  you  felt  a  bit  guilty  that  you  found  your  soulmate  at  this  party  instead  of  Jamie.  It  was  the  plan  of this  whole  night,  after  all.  Now  that  it  was  you,  you  didn’t  know  how  to  react.  You  were  completely  and  utterly  unprepared.  

  “I’m  so  sorry,  Jamie.”  You  pulled  her  back  in  closer,  crushing  her  back  into  you,  eyes  watering,  lip  trembling.  “Oh  my  god,  I  think  I  might-  I  think  I  might  cry.”  You  hiccupped  into  her  chic  mesh  turtleneck  and  dress  combo.  This  is  too  much.  Too  too  much.   

 “Heyy!~  Don’t  feel  bad  for  me!  It’s  okay!”  Jamie  simply  chortled,  patting  your  head  deeper  into  her  chest,  her  usual  protocol  if  you  were  about  to  seriously  cry.  

Humiliatingly  enough,  you  heard  a  few  guys  begin  to  chant  “don’t  cry!”  in  the  background.  Your  small  moment  of  sincerity  and  calm  was  soon  interrupted  by  Chris.   

 “Well  isn’t  this  fun!  You  know  what  this  means!”~   

“Minho’s  soulmate’s  a  lil’  bitch?”  You  heard  Jisung,  the  kid  whom  you  shared  your  major  and  many  classes  with,  taunt.  His  words  forcing  you  forward,  ready  to  fight  the  kid.  He’s  a  child,  literally   a  child!  Why  do  I  associate  myself  with  him?!  I  swear  to  god-

 “Hey,  hey,  hey!  It  was  a  joke!”  He  squeaked  away  from  you.  He  was  too  speedy,  no  chance  for  you  and  your  heavy  ass  boots  stomping  after  him.  Safely,  he  skidded  behind  the  couch,  behind  whom  you’re  assuming  is  “Minho”,  which  had  your  boots  screeching  to  a  halt.  

Though  you  were  scrambling  after  Jisung,  your  eyes  naturally  met  Minho’s  as  you  halted.  Once  again,  your  body  is  preparing  to  either  fight  or  flight.  His  face  was  glowing  like  he  was  some  sort  of  ethereal  being,  wracked  up  in  deep,  attractive  concentration.  In  contrast,  your  face  was  beginning  to  burn  up  an  embarrassing  amount,  your  body  already  turning  into  inoperable  mush.  You  couldn’t  say  anything  if  you  tried.  Any  sentence  structure  your  brain  tried  to  form  didn’t  make  any  grammatical  or  logical  sense,  your  mind  racing  like  a  hamster  on  a  wheel.  Your  neural  pathways  were  glowing,  steaming  with  this  sudden  overstimulation,  leading  you  to  the  same  frazzling  answer  each  and  every  time: 

This  person  right  in  front  of  you?  Yeah,  that’s  your  soulmate. 

 A  hush  was  spread  throughout  the  previously  hype  basement,  all  eyes  immersed  in  the  two  of  you  speechlessly  enraptured  in  each  other.  The  longer  you  stood  there, the  more  you  could  take  him  in  and  get  used  to  him  and  the  idea  of  him.  You  were  warming  up  to  him,  he  became  more  and  more  real  with  each  millisecond.  You've  studied  his  eyes  so  passionately  now  that  could  see  his  dark  chocolatey  pupils  when  you  closed  your  eyes.  You  were  no  longer  overwhelmed  but  now  enchanted  by  his  features  and  general  presence.  His  cheekbones  are  no  longer  an  unfamiliar  art  piece.  His  aura  was  still  intimidating  as  before,  but  now  it  appeared   to  the  cheeky  kind  of  way  like  you  wanted  to  see  what  amount  of  scary  he  was  capable  of.  It  was  a  long,  jittery,  drawn-out  pause  before  anything  happened,  not  that  you  noticed.  

 “Out  of  genuine  free  will,”  You  just  smiled,  staring  at  his  naturally  downturned  lips.  Only  by  reading  his  lips  did  you  pay  attention  to  what  he  was  saying-  Wait,  what?

“I,  Lee-”  Hold on a second.  

“Minho-”  No.  

“Exercise  the  divine  right  to”  This  isn’t  happening  to  me.  This  isn’t- 

“Reject  my  sacredly  designed-” happening.  No.  No.  It  can’t  be.  It’s  not  p-   

“Soulmate.”  -ossible.  

The  electric,  exciting,  high  energy  pause  between  us  fell  and  wilted.  Died  just  like  that.  The  connected  red  strings  that  tied  Minho  and  yourself  were  chopped  off  on  his  own  accord,  bringing  icy  cold  into  the  room  in  its  wake.  A  harsh  blizzard  overwhelming  the  space.  Gasps  of  shocked  air  were  being  taken  in  from  everyone  in  this  basement,  everyone,  including  Lee  Minho.  

 You  got  a  gasp  of  bitter  cold  in  through  your  lungs  before  you  were  struck  like  lightning.  Lightning  of  feverish  torture  took  over  your  body,  struck  you  directly  in  the  heart  and  brain  before  it  flashed  through  your  veins  carrying  the  harsh  poison  of  rejection.  

   You  heard  a  pathetic  squawk  tear  its  way  out  of  your  chapped  lips,  the  anguish  forcing  you  down  to  your  knees  as  if  you  were  directly  stabbed  in  the  heart.  The  electric,  immediate  painful  reaction  faded,  bringing  boiling  throbs  through  all  your  cells,  not  leaving  one  out.  It  was  unlike  anything  you  could  describe,  no,  imagine.  It  was  as  if  the  blood  in  your  veins  was  replaced  with  boiling  water  and  your  heart  was  simultaneously  squeezed  and  electrocuted  in  the  grasps  of  electric  hands.  Maybe  it  was  the  hands  of  Satan  dragging  you  down  with  him.

Blurrily,  through  fresh,  hot  tears,  you  swear  you  could  see  Minho  physically  flinch  in  response,  immediately,  sprinting  out  of  the  room  as  if  he  was  escaping  from  a  house  on  fire. 

 That  was  the  last  you  saw  before  it  all  faded  to  black. 

[skvaderarts]

Apocrypha Chapter Ten: Baggage

Masterlist can be found Here! Thanks!

Chapter Ten: Baggage

Note: All your comments on the last chapter about Vergil had me rolling on the floor laughing like an idiot. See this, this is the kind of chaotic energy I thrive off of. Thank you for allowing me to flourish like this!

(-~-)

4:50 am

A soft mist settled across the worn metal of the train tracks as the moon hung low, casting shadows across the dimly lit train station. The long beams of hardened steel shined from a combination of moisture and moonlight, making them look as new as the day they had been placed. Everything tended to look clean and new at night, and this was no different.

Everyone held their positions, babysitting their megar luggage (not so megar in some "cases") and the children in Nero's case as they awaited the arrival of the train. It would be here in a matter of minutes, and was supposed to be relatively empty considering the time of morning that it would be arriving during. Considering the fact that most of the locals were scared stiff of the dark at this point, getting them to stand at a train station in the middle of the night in dim lighting during a light sprinkle was totally out of the question. But that worked out better for them. And even if they were foolish enough to venture out during such trying conditions, Morrison had pulled some strings and, as a result, they basically had a whole train car to themselves. Apparently, someone owed him a favor and was in the good graces of the train company.

As Kyrie and Nico rounded up the children and took inventory of their belongings, Vergil took mental inventory of his surroundings. Dante had long since decided that he couldn't be bothered to stay awake and wait for the train, so he had made himself comfortable on a nearby bench and dozed off, much to his older twin's bewilderment. How Dante was capable of sleeping in such an unfamiliar environment was beyond him. Just a few feet away from him were Lady and Trish, trying to work out how they were going to get their luggage onboard the train. They had brought at least a month's worth of clothes on what would be, at most, a week long trip, and were having a difficult time reconciling the logistical challenge that came with moving that many bags. He would actually be amused by this if it weren't for the lingering feeling of discomfort that hung low in his gut, keeping him on edge. 

For a menagerie of complex yet obvious reasons, the prospect of spending several days with his two adult children put him seriously on edge. While waiting for the train, the realization that he actually had no idea what went on in either of his adult children's lives had slammed into him like a van into a brick factory, and he found this fact supremely unsettling.  Aside from the different abilities they possessed in battle and the basic facets of their dramatically different personalities, Vergil was forced to admit that he actually had no idea what his children were like below the surface level. And making small talk wasn't something anyone in their family was any good at. 

This was going to be… challenging.

As if called upon by the awkward atmosphere itself, V walked past silently, taking a moment to stop and catch his breath. For all his talents, waking up early and actually being functional were not qualities he possessed. While he was coherent, that didn't mean that he was at peak physical condition. Due to V's habits and general disposition, he was much better acquainted with the concept of staying up for long periods of time that he was with getting up at a moments notice and catching a train. He found the concept distasteful and exhausting.

Vergil glanced between their respective bags, half wondering what V had actually packed. While he was more than willing to believe that Nero and Nico owned clothing suited to an afternoon at the beach, the polar opposite could be said for his eldest son. V didn't come off to him as the type to even know how to shop for outdoor clothing, let alone own any. It was curious. Regardless of what he believed, the young summoner actually owned a luggage bag though, to the shock of literally no one present, it was a rolling one. While Vergil was more than aware of his son's condition, it put him off slightly to be reminded of it. Perhaps if he helped him with the bag…

Without a moment to spare, a vintage red convertible pulled to a stop in the parking lot and out stepped Morrison. He opened the car door on the opposite side of the car to allow Patty to exit, the young blond girl dragging an oversized rolling bag along behind her as she headed towards the loading ramp to join the others. Upon catching sight of Dante sleeping, she stopped and shook her head, clearly disapproving of his sleeping habits.

"Hey, at least he made it here on time," Nero said as he walked past her, finally finished with taking inventory of the children's personal belongings," We've gotta give him credit for something. I was sure he was going to be late. I got no idea how he managed to beat us here."

Vergil spared them a passing glance as he folded his arms across his chest. He most certainly shared patty's disapproval. "When the alternative is being impaled on the end of my blade, I find that he is usually willing to accommodate my demands. But there have been a few... exceptions," Vergil drifted off for a moment, thinking," Did you know he didn't own any cookware or dishes before today? It's truly absurd."

Nero shot him a knowing look, taking a step closer to V to assess his condition. "Yea, neither of those facts really surprise me. You're both insane, after all."

Patty shook her head, clearly entertained by the pent up tension that fueled their conversation. She had no idea what caused it, but she definitely found it funny. "See, I was right! Dante just needs motivation! And the best way to motivate him is to smack him with stuff. It all checks out."

Vergil stared at her blankly for a moment. Yes that was what his twin needed. Motivation.

Just a moment later the lumbering locomotive they were scheduled to be boarding blew its whistle, signaling it's approach. It didn't sound far off. Everyone scrambled to collect their things and receive their tickets from Morrison who laughed under his breath at the unorganized mess in front of them before wishing them a safe trip. Literally everyone he knew was a walking disaster, and it never got old. Or less funny.

Much to Nero's surprise, the only person who seemed totally at ease was V. The taller while haired descendant of Sparda was leaning against the streetlamp nearest to the tracks, having migrated there during the commotion. He had everything together and seemed to be quietly observing the children. Though the little ones were well behaved, this was their first time near a train. If Carlo's experience with hot soup was anything to go by, he needed to divert a bit of his attention towards maintaining the welfare of the children. Kyrie was keeping an eye on them, but she and Nico had their bags to deal with and Nero only had two sets of eyes. At least as far as he knew. He'd grown wings and a new arm during his absence. Anything was possible. Nero was practically a super advanced amoeba at this point as far as he was concerned.

"Were you… You know, um…," Nero's entire mental process flat lined as he made eye contact with V, unsure of how he wanted to phrase his proposal," Did you… ya know… need help with your bag, V?"

The young summoner blanched, his pupils dilating for a moment like an alarmed house cat before he blinked and composed himself. It all happened so quickly that it was nearly imperceptible, but he'd done it nonetheless. V shifted his stance slightly, diverting his eyes in an attempt to break eye contact with Nero. He glanced in the direction of the oncoming train before speaking. 

"... I'm fine. This isn't the first time I've had to board a train recently," He glanced sparingly at Nero, clearly somewhat flustered by Nero's polite offer." But… I do appreciate your offer. Your concern is refreshing. I'll manage."

Nero shrugged, scratching the bridge of his nose before ducking away. He needed to check on the children. "Sure thing. Let me know if you, ya know, change your mind or something."

As the train pulled into the station, Nero took a moment to step away and join Kyrie and the kids. Attempting to keep three young and excited children under control while juggling luggage was going to be quite the experience. Thankfully children's clothing was smaller than its adult counterparts, so they were able to fit everything in one bag. In hindsight, it was rather impressive that Trish and Lady had individually packed more clothing than their entire family put together. Impressive, excessive, and hilarious. After a cursory check and a hurried final count, they prepared to board after the rest of the group. Going first would slow things down considerably.

While Patty gave Dante hell for falling asleep, V watched the train pull into the station casually. This was far from his first train trip, but it had been quite some time since he'd traveled with other people. And never with children. He shot Nico a quick glance, collecting his bag before it became an obstacle in their path. The young mechanic nodded in approval.

"I wonder why Nero didn't take Magnolia up on her offer to babysit the kids," She said as she grabbed her bags," I mean, I love em as much as the next person… but don't people usually take vacations to get away from their kids?"

V stood up straight, no longer leaning against the lamp. He considered her words for a moment, before facing ahead, clearly focused on something in the middle distance. That was a reasonable question, and he couldn't fault her for being curious. While no one minded that the children were along for the ride, especially since Nero had told most of them beforehand, he had to admit that he'd wondered the same thing when his younger brother had made that decision with Kyrie.

"If I were to make an educated guess, it's partially for his own benefit. He may wish to spend time with them," He said as he stepped towards the now still train, clearing a path for everyone," And also, what better way to drive our father absolutely insane? It's as much an act of revenge as it is an act of kindness. In a way, I almost find it poetic."

Nico gave him a funny look before the gears in her brain unstuck and she laughed slightly. "Oh, I get it! It's a parental pissing contest! Gotta remind his old man that he's the better parent!"

"Yes, I believe he's taking the moral middle ground on this trip, isn't he" V said, a hint of humor in his voice. He closed his eyes for a moment, scoffing at his sibling's petty yet understandable level immaturity," Well, that is when the high ground is being morally impregnable and the low road is refusing to come at all."

"Don't act like you wouldn't do the same thing," Nico said as she tried not to laugh. Vergil was approaching with Dante, and she didn't need him honing in on their conversation. She liked to think he liked her. Well, at the very least he seemed to want to stab her less than most of the rest of the team. That had to count for something.

V let out a brief chortle, covering his mouth with the back of his hand. " I have no children. And my methods of causing aggravation and proving my moral superiority are a bit more… subtle. Not to say that I care much either way."

Nico punched him in the side, eliciting a surprised exhale and a curious look. "No kids that you know of!"

He stared at her blankly for a moment, an unreadable look passing across his face. It was completely belied by his calm demeanor. "No. I'm quite certain that I don't have any. That would be impossible. I… Damn it."

She gave him a silly look, repressing the urge to go totally wide eyed and burst into laughter at what he had just inadvertently implied. Nico had caught him red handed, and his involuntary confession answered a lot of burning questions for her. "But what if ya did though? Or what if ya do someday? I mean, you've gotta have some luck getting a date with all that poetry you read, right? And it's not like your ugly or somethin..'"

V stopped for a moment, both to allow Kyrie to board first and to consider her statement. He turned back to her, his head tilted slightly to one side in an involuntary action that indicated that he was somewhat unsure as to how to answer that question. Nico got the impression that he'd probably never been asked that before, and Nero shot them both a curious look as he passed by them.

"... I've… I haven't… I don't think I've taken the necessary time to... consider that question yet. I have no way of answering that, at present." V seemed distant for a moment, almost troubled. 

For a second, Nico felt very uncomfortable. This was obviously a touchy subject, but not in the way she would have expected. Most of the time people got angry or flustered when asked a personal question they didn't intend to answer. V just seemed… forlorn and absent from the conversation. It was as if she had just asked him about someone dying or something, and he was recalling a painful memory. In that moment, Nico was certain that he had thought about it before, but uncertain as to how the subject affected him.

At least for the time being, she was going to drop the subject. This wasn't a good way to start what was supposed to be a fun group outing. V was always a little gloomy, but she'd clearly struck a nerve that she hadn't meant to, and the last thing she wanted to do was cause him to spend the entire train trip being upset and distracted.

"Yea um, sorry about that, I guess. Wasn't tryin' to… you know…" Nico said as she walked along behind the rest of the group, her bag in hand. The train was only going to stay for a minute or so longer. No one wanted to have to drive there to meet them.

V waived her off, blinking slowly in a way that showed that he absolutely did mind, but wasn't going to make a big deal out of it. He had bigger problems and didn't tend to hold petty grudges as a general rule. Although there were exceptions to that rule, he knew that Nico hadn't meant anything by it. If anything, she'd probably been trying to entertain them both.

"I'll go after you," He said, tilting his head nonchalantly in the direction of the train door. He honestly didn't enjoy being the first to board the train. Even though he knew it was entirely irrational and foolish, he felt as though he was being watched when he was the first to do something with his group. It made him feel slightly anxious, even when he was with people he trusted. 

She nodded and hopped on board the train, nearly stumbling with her heavy bag. For a moment, V considered the probability that she had snuck some of her "work" with her on the train. But then again, he was certain that everyone had snuck weapons on board as well, so it was a good thing that they didn't have to go through a metal detector or baggage check before boarding. All those demonic swords and specialized guns would have been rather difficult to explain away. In an ideal world, they wouldn't need them. But in the world they lived in, no one was foolish enough to think that asking Vergil to leave Yamato at home was a good idea or that it would end in anything but a swift stabbing.

"I see that your boarding last."

V turned his head, glancing over his shoulder to face the all too familiar voice that had just spoken to him. It was Vergil. His brain raced to pinpoint the exact moment that the eldest Son of Sparda had broken away from his twin brother and stayed behind to confront him, but it jammed like a cheap lock. Regardless, he was here. And he couldn't pinpoint why that made him so supremely uncomfortable. Perhaps it had something to do with what had happened the last time they had been alone with one another at a train station. His fight or flight instinct screamed at him, imploring him not to repeat the same mistakes that had landed him in the Redgrave incident in the first place. After all, if he hadn't taken that walk and walked face first into Vergil…

No, that hadn't been his fault. 

He needed to stop doing that to himself. 

That was in the past now.

The young summoner nodded, his vocal cords failing him. While he was aware that he needed to speak with him at some point on this trip, this would not be the moment that that happened. And the sudden realization that whatever awkwardness there was between them would transfer to their three hour train ride was almost enough to make him bolt across the parking lot and catch the ferry home. But that would accomplish nothing. And Nico had the keys, so the van wasn't going anywhere anyway.

Vergil let out a sound somewhere between a sigh and a chuckle, clearly expecting some sort of response akin to the one he received from his oldest son. And yet there was something else in his demeanor that betrayed his silent hope that that wouldn't be the case. Perhaps it was something in his eyes that V caught a glimpse of that told him that his lack of diction… saddened Vergil? Was the eldest Son of Sparda capable of that? V liked to believe so. Perhaps "liked" wasn't that proper word for it.

As V considered this, the train whistle blew. They would be departing in a minute. Vergil glanced over at the train casually, clearly not concerned about the concept of being left behind. He'd teleported to further away things in the past, and they'd been moving considerably faster than a train. He foresaw no challenge, at least for himself. While he assumed that V might share a similar ability, he had now way of knowing how proficient he was. But there would be no need to find out if they boarded the train.

"Come then," Vergil said as he approached the train, passing V in the process. He stopped for a moment, glancing over his shoulder to double check that he had complied with his request and found that he had. He then extended his arm to stop him, handing him one of the two slips of paper in his hand. It was a train ticket. V looked it over for a moment, giving Vergil an appreciative nod in the process. Much to his dismay, functionality had yet to return to the auditory cortex of his brain.

"I don't believe I saw you get yours from that middleman Dante is acquainted with, so I took the liberty of doing so on your behalf." He said casually as he stepped past him, swiping V's bag in the process. It was beyond Vergil to simply ask for it. He already knew what his son's response would be, if any at all.

V reached towards the confiscated luggage bag, his response too delayed to accomplish anything noteworthy. The young white haired summoner opened his mouth to speak, but words failed him yet again and he let his arm fall limply to his side. He sighed softly and cracked a small but appreciative smile before following after him. He'd stolen a glance at their respective seat numbers when Vergil had handed him the ticket earlier. 

It seemed that they would be sitting together…

(-~-)

And just like that, the beach arc has begun! What's that? You thought it was going to be one or two chapters? HA! Try like five or six! There is character development that needs to happen here, people! Thanks for reading, take care, and I'll see you again on Friday! Bye bye! Also, I have a discord server. The links to it and my user id on there are in my A03 bio and listed below! I'd love to chat if you're ever in the neighborhood lol!

Server: https://discord.gg/Uyp75N6

SkvaderArts#2729

[grither55]

The Princess and the Peasant - (An Azula Epic) - Chapter 10 - Shopping With The Princess

When the two noblewomen finally caught up to Azula they were deeply unnerved to find her guiding the innocent girl through a shop full of deadly weaponry.

“A-Azula why in Agni's name did you bring Elle here for?” Ty Lee stammered with evident terror in her voice fearing that Azula would get the girl killed.

“For two reasons Ty Lee. One! To show off my strength in the bending arena out back and two, my little companion needs a weapon.” Azula explained to the acrobat’s horror while she continued to pull Elle by a large array of lethal swords.

“But she’s a pacifist.” Mai stated in deadpan only for Azula to wave her objection off.

“Nonsense. I’ll find something that suits her.” The princess remarked while the blonde peered up at her clearly intimidated by the massive weapon store.

“I-I’m scared of these weapons Azula-sama.” Elle admitted while Azula came to a stop before a wide selection of swords.

“That is only because you have not been taught how to wield one. I could teach you if you like.” Azula informed to the rising horror of her subordinates.

“Azula…you’re scaring the girl. She doesn’t want to be in a weapon store.” The markswoman attempted to reason once more in a sterner voice.

“C-could you teach me about mathematics, science and history instead?” The blonde-haired girl requested in a mousy voice as if afraid that she would disappoint her master.

“Of course! I can teach you all of that and more. I have taken a romantic interest in you. There is nothing that I can’t or won’t teach you.” The princess announced to the small girl’s delight.

The direct statement came across as a shock to even Ty Lee.

“Y-you have? Me? Y-you are interested in me?” Elle stuttered as she felt her heart skip a beat while Azula snorted derisively.

“I would have thought that would have been obvious by now. I am your princess charming. Am I not?” Azula scoffed while folding her arms over her chest as if attempting to loom over the girl even more than she already does.

She has come to enjoy Elle’s small size, petite yet still oh so lovely.

“Y-yes! You are my princess charming!” The blonde-haired girl squealed while grasping at the woman’s robed belly while the princess smirked in gratification.

“Of course, I am. There is no princess as dominant as I. It is becoming clear to me that I am the prime romantic candidate for you. And I feel as if you may well fit me.” The princess commented while holding an elegant hand to her chin as she smiled down at the joyous girl.

“Since when is Azula the ‘prime romantic candidate’ for anyone?” Mai asked openly while never caring if her leader overheard her.

“She seems to think that she needs to flaunt her strength before Elle. She thinks that because Elle is sweet and delicate that only the strongest will suit her.” Ty Lee explained while smiling awkwardly when Mai scrunched up her nose in puzzlement.

She really can’t blame Mai.

It really didn’t make any sense.

“I-I am so excited! I really want to get to know you further princess. Please give this loyal servant a chance to please you.” Elle pleaded while tugging on Azula’s robes while she gazed down at her pleased by her words.

“As I would like to get to know you. Now, there is much for us to do and more. But I really don’t approve of your pacifism. I strongly believe that you should carry at least a small dagger.” Azula spoke while gesturing about the shop with cold golden eyes.

Even Mai shivered at the terrifyingly casual statement.

This poor girl was more liable to stab herself with a dagger than anyone else!

“B-but I am not physically built for that Azula-sama. I have a health condition that prohibits excessive activity. I can’t do weapons training.” The blonde-haired girl tried to explain only for her master to pull her forward.

“All the more reason that I am the ideal partner for you. You clearly need someone of great strength. Just the same. What if you need to defend yourself?” The princess demanded while they stopped before a display of daggers.

“Azula…you are really beginning to scare us.” The brown-haired woman urged while standing behind the two as her leader inspected the daggers.

“I trust you to protect me. You and my big sister’s.” Elle answered sweetly with her words touching each of the three women’s heart in some manner.

“I am pleased to hear that you have such faith in me and my team. But I would still feel more comfortable if you at least carried a dagger on you. What about this one?” Azula spoke with her hands on her hips while pointing at an elegant red blade.

“Azula, you claim you like the girl but you aren’t listening to her.” The markswoman stated in growing anger while glaring at the selfish woman’s back.

It truly disgusted her that Azula seemed to think that it was acceptable to try to force the girl to alter her behavior.

“It…looks…terrifying.” The blonde-haired girl mumbled lamely while her shoulders slumped as she began to dread upsetting her princess.

“Try holding it.” The princess insisted as she grasped the dagger while attempting to deposit it into the shaky girl’s hands.

“Please stop it Azula! She’s not a fighter. She’s not having fun anymore.” Ty Lee exclaimed while Azula’s lips curved into a scowl in her frustration.

“S-sumimasen Azula-sama. But I can’t hold this.” Elle announced while fearfully pushing the dagger away.

“Is it too large?” Azula commented with a frown while placing the weapon back in its place.

“N-no. I don’t like knives. Felix liked knives. S-sumimasen.” The blonde-haired girl confessed with her head hanging low while the princess glanced down at her with marginally widened eyes.

The statement was a gruesome one that hinted that her brother may have tortured her in very sadistic ways.

The affect had such an intense change in the atmosphere that Ty Lee pulled the girl away from the knives while casting the princess a warning stare.

“That’s enough of this Azula. If you want to show her your bending that is fine. But she doesn’t want a weapon.” The brown-haired woman spoke with a protective voice while her leader gazed down at the girl finally relenting.

“I see. So that is the issue. Very well. I hope that I did not upset you too badly.” The princess remarked to her friend’s amazement while peering down at her pet with faint concern in her callous stare.

“No. I am not upset. I am overjoyed that you are my princess charming.” Elle assured while twirling her thumbs while Ty Lee gazed down at her smiling once more.

“Hm. Indeed, it has a nice ring to it. How would you like to accompany me to the bending arena? To see my strength first hand?” Azula pondered with a hand on her chin while smiling confidently when Elle grasped at her left hand.

“Please Your Highness. Show your loyal servant your strength…” The blonde-haired girl trailed off passionately as she gazed up into smug golden eyes.

“Splendid. I shall show you my dominance first hand. Come my pet.” The princess declared once more before guiding her little admirer past her sighing friends.

The two watched the princess drag the girl out of the weapon shop before Mai turned to Ty Lee.

“Most people go to the pet store or the animal shelter when they want a pet. Why did Azula pick up a homeless girl from an alley?” Mai questioned with the other woman shrugging her shoulders in response.

“Don’t ask me. I’m glad that Elle is around. I just wish…that Azula would cut back on the dominance. At least…a bit.” Ty Lee answered while following after their leader once again.

About ten minutes later the two noblewomen entered the large arena to comically find firebenders fleeing the arena in terror.

Soon they heard the princess’s voice resonating from the center of the arena.

The two stepped in to see Elle seated alone on a bench while she peered down at Azula with childish awe in her amber eyes.

The princess stood in a wall of blue fire while glancing at the last few fleeing firebenders in disgust.

“Cowards! And you call yourselves firebenders!” Azula snapped while folding her arms over her breasts while she exhaled a burst of azure fire.

“…She was going to fight arena firebenders? I don’t blame them for running.” Mai stated dryly before seating herself beside Elle while gazing down at the excited girl.

“Azula-sama’s fire is so amazing!” Elle cheered out innocently while gazing down with entranced eyes as Ty Lee sat on the opposite side of her.

The only strange thing was that the girl seemed to have already forgotten that it was these very flames that burned two girls just hours ago.

“Is Azula giving you a good show little sis?” Ty Lee greeted while slipping an arm over the smaller girl’s shoulder.

“Mhm! I really like Azula-sama. I-I really feel like she cares about me.” The blonde-haired girl confided quietly while the acrobat gazed down at her warmly.

“She does. She’s…just a bit eccentric.” The brown-haired woman answered while the gloomy noble rolled her eyes.

“That’s putting it mildly.” The markswoman snorted while the blonde nibbled one what was left of her treat.

“Well…it matters not. I can practice just as well alone. It’s all the same to me. They would have only gotten in the way. Watch closely, my little admirer. I’ve been training my bending for several years now. I’ll show you a few of my new techniques…that not even Ty Lee and Mai have seen!” The princess called out while peering up at the young girl with charming golden eyes.

Her lips were curved into a confidence smirk before she sunk into a bending stance that had soon had Elle’s mouth hanging open in amazement.

Her words took both Mai and Ty Lee aback as they glanced at one another with the only answer from one another being a puzzled shrug.

It was now known that the Avatar spent six years in a coma before reappearing on the day of the Black Sun.

The princess had grown from a fourteen-year-old girl to a twenty-year-old adult.

During the six-year lull there was little involvement on the front lines.

Azula had been spending large portions of her time bending in the forests, but they weren’t aware that she had created any new techniques.

“New techniques? Azula created her own techniques?” Ty Lee pondered in a mix of awe and newfound fear as she watched as large plumes of blue flame began to spark across the arena.

She could only sink back in her seat with widened eyes to see just how strong her friend had gotten over this six-year lull.

It was truly astonishing.

She had never given it much thought until now that Azula had gotten stronger.

This is the first time that she has seen her practice in several years!

Even Mai stared down at the arena with shock in her eyes to witness just how much Azula has advanced her bending.

The princess slid her left boot which immediately produced a pillar of blue fire that spiraled to the height of the ceiling all the while Elle’s younger eyes followed her movements in admiration.

This was closely followed up by a spellbinding array of elegant kicks and punched while Azula continued to perform her firebending dance.

All along her domineering eyes would flicker up in her admirer’s direction vastly pleased to see that she had stunned not only the submissive girl but her childhood friends as well.

“Azula’s…really taken her bending to a whole new level...” The brown-haired woman trailed off in mutual awe while staring down at her leader’s dance with an intimidated gaze.

At this point Azula just might be stronger than her father!

The markswoman said nothing in response as she sat there in a state of speechless silence all the while the small blonde still sat with her mouth agape between the two of them.

“Azula-sama…is so incredible…I didn’t know that she was this strong.” Elle breathed out a tone of pure amazement while the two noblewomen gazed down at her.

She sat underneath Ty Lee’s arm all the while never ceasing in admiring her master’s divine body that moved about with such grace.

“I’m quite certain that she heard you Elle.” Ty Lee stated with a soft smile on her lips despite her still present fear of her leader.

Although it was lessened somewhat thanks to their earlier talk.

Azula seemed to be trying to treat them better.

She had to give her credit for that.

“Feast your little eyes on this my servant.” Azula remarked while sliding her feet backwards with a proud look about her as her right hand fell down to her side.

Almost as if she were preparing to draw a sword!

Then she sunk into yet another bending stance while her subordinates continued to gaze on in bewilderment only to widen their eyes when a sword of blue fire formed beneath her fingertips.

Then with truly frightening speed the princess dashed across the arena before slicing straight through a stone pillar.

It thunderously tore in two before crumbling into a pile of rubble all the while the three gaped in awe.

A bead of sweat was streaming down Mai’s cheek while she tried to suppress her long-hidden fear of Azula.

At this point onlookers from the street had come in to witness their princess’s mighty spectacle that was quickly spreading like wildfire.

The people stood murmuring in an impressed silence all the while the regal woman slid to a stop at the other end of the arena.

“My princess is so strong.” The blonde-haired girl spoke with spellbound respect lacing her innocent voice as she sat peering down at the woman’s magnificent image.

The sword of fire promptly vanished from Azula’s hand just as she extended two fingers before her with her eyes narrowed into a focused stare.

“She’s…not really going to bend lightning with these people around, is she?” Mai pondered in a slight break from her monotone only to receive a wordless answer in the form of crackling lightning at her fingertips.

Then to the complete disbelief of the two noblewomen that watched as Azula sunk backwards generating the lightning near instantaneously.

“Watch closely Elle. Don’t you dare even look away!” The princess commanded with her refined voice resonating through the air.

It was becoming quite apparent to Mai and Ty Lee that no matter how they felt about the matter…

Azula truly dominated young Elle in every way shape or form.

The woman had to but speak and the girl was already nodding with a lovable look of adulation in her amber eyes.

“Y-yes! As you say Azula-sama. Always as my princess charming says.” Elle agreed while leaning forward on her knees as she beamed down at the beautiful light show.

Energy sparkled and danced upon the tip of the regal woman’s two outstretched fingers just before releasing a mighty bolt of lightning.

It promptly exploded into the wall of the arena all the while Azula stood with her fists falling to her sides with her lips curling into a smug smile.

Silence was all that reigned while Azula turned to peer up at their astounded faces with her ego clearly rising to even greater heights.

“So…what do you think?” Azula questioned while glancing up at Elle with right fist clenched upon her shapely hip all the while smiling up at the girl.

“Why…is Azula acting like a hormonal boy?” The markswoman muttered beside the acrobat as they both peered down at their younger companion’s awed face.

It truly was adorable in a strange fashion watching Elle gaze upon Azula as if she was some kind of hero from an ancient fairy tale.

And just as peculiar was witnessing the Princess of the Fire nation strut for a commoner from another world.

The two were complete polar opposites…

And yet they were oddly drawn to one another.

“Wow! You can create lightning! T-that was just awe inspiring!” The blonde-haired girl cheered in such an innocent manner that the acrobat couldn’t help but smile despite her shock.

“Hm. I can. That and more. I still have two more new techniques under my belt. But that…will have to wait for another day.” The princess responded while brushing her bangs from her eyes with her golden gaze never leaving her young admirer’s face.

The simple yet ominous words ‘two more’ sent a shiver down the spines of her subordinates.

Not only has Azula mastered instantaneous lightning but she’s created an effortlessly pillar of fire technique.

With but a mere twitch of her foot she can attack and defend.

Not to mention that she is the first firebender to bend a sword of flames!

“Y-you are so strong Azula-sama! So mighty! My master is the strongest there is!” Elle announced as she stood up while gazing down at the princess’s lovely visage with childish reverence in her gaze.

Judging by the manner in which Azula’s lips curved into a prideful smile it would appear that her performance had the intended affect.

“Humph! Of course, I am. Now…I demand that you return to my side at once!” Azula barked while snapping her fingers in an unbelievably spoiled manner.

Her childhood friends couldn’t help but sigh heavily over her pompous behavior.

Yet it would seem that it didn’t bother Elle in the least.

Not if her scampering was anything to go by as they sweatdropped while watching the girl dart through bench after bench to reach her princess’s side.

“Yes Azula-sama! As Her Highness commands!” The blonde-haired girl exclaimed while finally coming to a stop before the older woman.

She panted slightly while peering up at her commanding visage with adoring little eyes while her callous stare scrutinized her breathing.

“Azula! You…shouldn’t make her run like that!” Ty Lee complained with her arms folded over her breasts while frowning all the while.

This breathing issue seemed…unnaturally severe.

It was…quite sad to watch such a young girl be so hindered by such a debilitating condition.

She was beginning to realize that Azula was most surely correct about her belief that this would enrage her father.

In the eyes of a ruthless man like Ozai, not one of Elle’s adorable tributes to her princess mattered, nor her limitless love for her idol.

All that mattered was that Elle was low borne and just as damning…is the fact that she was seemingly sickly.

She truly, truly hoped that Azula would protect Elle now and when she inherits the throne.

“You barely even ran that far and your breathing is this bad?” The princess demanded with her eyes narrowing as she loomed over her exhausted admirer.

“S-sumimasen Azula-sama for being so w-weak.” Elle stuttered while hanging her head with her low self esteem once more coming to the surface.

“You are very weak. Quite possibly the weakest…but I am also the strongest. It is incredibly apparent to me that a woman of my strength is the prime fit for you.” Azula spoke just as she slid her fingertip beneath Elle’s chin while forcing the girl to meet her controlling gaze.

The small blonde began to blush despite her breath difficulty all the while marveling over the tall woman’s flawless countenance.

“O-oh my mighty princess charming…” The blonde-haired girl mumbled while teetering on the woman’s long fingertip all the while smiling shyly up at her.

“Aww…” The brown-haired woman gushed once more while ignoring Mai’s deadpan stare.

“Hm. I rather like the sound of that. Now. I will not allow it to be said that there was a problem beyond the brilliance of Princess Azula. Therefore, my little servant, in recognition of your undying loyalty I shall lend you my genius on the matter in question.” The princess stated in a voice of supreme smugness as she waved her other hand before her smiling all the while.

“I don’t think I can take much more of Azula’s gigantic ego.” Mai stated with annoyance lacing her voice while Ty Lee giggled with a hand over her mouth.

“Oh, come on Mai. Azula’s just trying to impress Elle…in her own twisted way.” Ty Lee commented while staring down at Elle turning an adorable shade of red.

“I…am so happy to be in your service Master Azula.” Elle admitted with a wide smile overtaking her cheeks as she swooned under the princess’s domineering golden gaze.

“On that we are in agreement. But for the time being I command you to breath at a more desirable rate! Disobey me and I will punish you!” Azula snapped while furrowing her lips into an imposing glare as Elle gulped nervously under the weight of her stare.

“Azula! You can’t just command her to breathe normally! That’s not how it works!” The brown-haired woman yelled out with her words falling on deaf ears.

“Waste of breath.” The markswoman replied once more in a bored undertone as she gazed away sighing.

“Y-yes Azula-sama as my master commands.” The blonde-haired girl agreed in a submissive voice while she twiddled her thumbs under her princess’s entrancing stare.

She has come to realize that she really enjoys the woman’s commanding presence.

“What a good girl. So well trained…I like that. Now tell me. Did you enjoy my display of dominance?” The princess pondered while tilting her head in a questioning manner with her palm finally falling to her hip.

The sound of her two friends both groaning and sighing was completely disregarded by her ears.

“Little sister! Think carefully before you respond!” Ty Lee shouted down with her hands over her mouth while Mai observed in her usual deadpan manner.

“I-it was spellbinding. I…can’t believe how strong you are. Oh Azula-sama…I could just bask in your presence for all eternity.” Elle confessed in a passionate voice while cutely averting her eyes from Azula’s suddenly contemplative face.

The acrobat smiled in rising nervousness after hearing the younger girl’s innocent declaration.

Sadly…to Azula that was a resounding yes.

“You find my dominance spellbinding? You crave it so terribly that you desire to bow before me for all time?” Azula inquired with a gratified smile on her lovely lips while she held a finger to her chin humming thoughtfully.

The sound of Mai slapping her forehead resounded throughout the arena as she sighed heavily beneath her hand.

This girl does not consider the impact of her words before she speaks.

“I…confess that I do. I wish to be nowhere but beside my princess charming. Under your rule…forevermore.” The blonde-haired girl declared with joy in her voice while smiling so radiantly that princess couldn’t resist smiling even wider herself.

“Her fate is sealed.” The markswoman spoke while leaning back beside the flinching acrobat while staring down as the princess’s planted her fists upon her hips.

“Perfect! Then I shall continue to subjugate you under my dominance. I am confident that you will find my authority to your liking. Now…what do you wish to do next?” The princess announced strictly with her fists curling on her hips while smirking down at her lovely little pet.

“Yeah. I won’t argue with you there.” The brown-haired woman responded while she shook her head.

Yet even so she smiled.

So, what if Elle enjoyed Azula’s overbearing nature?

If it made the girl happy and her leader treated her well.

Then where was the harm in it?

She flinched while realizing that there was a great deal of potential for possible harm.

But it was still cute!

“Um…either a bookstore or…a clothing store? If…my princess wishes to take me…” Elle muttered while kicking at the floor meekly just as a strong hand suddenly grasped her by the collar of her shirt.

“We shall visit both. Ty Lee! Mai! Come!” Azula bellowed while pulling Elle alongside her as the petite girl was literally dragged with a blush on her cheeks.

The two noblewomen arose while gazing down with pity in their eyes as they watched the terrifying princess haul the poor girl out of the arena.

The last they saw of their young companion was the girl frantically attempting to walk on her own yet never getting the chance as the woman continued to pull her along.

The teenager’s reddened face was the last thing they saw before the doors thunderous echoed shut behind them.

“I hope for her sake she never decides to leave the Fire Nation.” Mai snorted while walking down the steps beside Ty Lee.

The acrobat shivered while trailing after her power obsessed leader.

Her friend had a point.

The next they saw of Elle was as they strode into a large high-end clothing store only to cringe in pity for the girl over the scene they stumbled upon.

Elle standing timidly behind Azula while the princess scowled down at outfit after outfit while tossing each one over her shoulder in disapproval.

Never caring that she was creating a huge mess for the workers to clean up.

All the while a poor sales attendant knelt in fear on the floor while the two women gazed on in pity to see the spoiled woman barking orders at her.

“Ugh! You call this wear fit for nobility? This girl is my most prized servant! I insist that she is dressed to my liking!” The princess shouted while her admirer stood quietly behind her with pink adorning her cheeks.

“Azula…I think you’re being too picky.” Ty Lee suggested in a fearful voice while the woman whipped around to glare at them icily.

“Hush Ty Lee. I am not picky. I simply have a refined sense of fashion!” Azula replied while gazing through the outfits with a discerning eye.

“I-I apologize Your Highness! W-we’ll find something to your liking!” The sales attendant exclaimed while bowing low on the floor.

“One can only hope, Elle come.” The princess ordered while snapping her fingers loudly with the petite girl padding after her with a joyful smile on her lips.

“Yes Azula-sama. You’re so authoritative!” The blonde-haired girl chirped with her big sisters following behind her all the while exchanging exasperated glances.

“Humph. I just knew that you would find my leadership to your liking…”Azula trailed off while striding off with her hands upon her swaying hips.

The fact that Azula was subtly swaying her hips for Elle spoke volumes about her interest in the younger girl.

“Finally, something promising.” The princess commented before coming to a stop before a particular outfit that had her friends cringing in increased pity for the poor girl.

It was…a suit of Fire Nation armor.

“Why in Agni’s name are we looking at armor?” Mai inquired while turning to Azula with annoyance in her tawny eyes.

“Because Mai I feel as if the girl could benefit from a proper battle suit. She doesn’t need weapons for me to teach her self-defense.” Azula stated knowingly while turning to Elle as the girl stood beside her peering up at her with seemingly limitless patience.

“Azula, we’re here to buy an outfit for a dinner…we’re not taking Elle into a war zone.” The brown-haired woman stated while she stood beside the small girl with her hands at her sides.

“I…don’t think I will be able to walk in that Azula-sama.” Elle attempted to reason while gazing dutifully up at the woman’s much taller frame.

“I am certain that you will adjust. Try the helmet on.” The princess commanded while effortlessly lifting up the battle helm before her embarrassed companions.

“Y-yes Your Highness.” The blonde-haired girl mumbled as she accepted the heavy helm while peering down at it with puzzled amber eyes.

“This girl has the patience of a sage to even put up with you.” The markswoman spoke while the princess stood observing while the girl slid the oversized helmet over her head.

“I have no idea what you are implying Mai…” Azula remarked while folding her arms over her breasts while surveying the petite girl as the helmet enveloped her entire head.

“Um…I can’t see. My eyes don’t line up with the eye holes.” Elle squeaked out in a mousy voice while she turned comically with the large helm clanking on her shoulders.

“That is disappointing. It would appear that you are too small for the standard model.” The princess grumbled while frowning down at the girl as she spun around nearly bumping into the wall.

Had it not been for Ty Lee grasping ahold of her while the acrobat turned to her leader with even her patience reaching its limit.

“S-sumimasen Azula-sama.” The blonde-haired girl murmured out lamely beneath the helmet.

“Azula…can we please just proceed to the formal wear?” Ty Lee pleaded while Azula tapped her boot on the floor as if deep in thought.

“It is no matter. I rather prefer your small size. I will simply order you a suit custom made.” Azula informed while waving her hand before her face as she sighed.

“As you say.” Elle agreed to the princess’s delight while her big sister promptly removed the helmet from her shoulders.

“How about we let her pick out an outfit?” Mai advised in her usual monotone while Azula glanced back at her blinking.

“Let her make her own decisions?” The princess questioned while her two subordinates stared at her for what seemed like the longest moment.

“…Yeah Azula. It’s only fair. She’ll be the one wearing it.” The brown-haired woman answered while they gazed at the princess scrunching her nose up as if the concept was too much to ask.

“You are suggesting I refrain from dictating her life? Even if only for a few minutes?” Azula snorted while gazing down at her pet with her fists on her hips.

Even now Elle stood with her hands clutching her backpack all the while gazing up at the woman waiting for her next command.

“Yes.” The two noblewomen responded in unison while the princess stared down at their adoptive baby sister.

“…I suppose I will permit it. But I have the final say on the outfit of choice. If I disapprove…you will pick something else. Is that understood servant?” The princess declared in a controlling voice while glaring down at her rapidly nodding servant.

“Wakarimashita Azula-sama!” The blonde-haired girl cheered while bowing low at the waist before her looming master.

“…That’s not really letting her choose.” Ty Lee piped in an ignored voice while watching as Elle continued to curtsy Azula.

“Good girl. You have my permission to browse the store now.” Azula announced while waving her hand before her as Elle arose from her bow beaming up at her in adoration.

“As Her Highness commands! This girl will obey!” Elle assured as she saluted Azula’s looming visage before turning to rush through the store.

“Hm. It would appear that I am a natural at even the dating scene. Just look at her. Spellbound by my superior charm.” The princess commented in a self-important voice while striding ahead of her sighing friends.

“That incident on Ember Island says otherwise.” The markswoman snorted while the princess glared at them over her shoulder.

“Please! That foolish boy was never worthy of me. No. I am finding that this girl is more of my type.” Azula spoke while swiftly walking after her little pet while the girl stood adorably gasping at an outfit.

“Azula-sama! I found something I like!” The blonde-haired girl called out while turning to smile up at her approaching master.

The three women stopped behind their younger friend to see the petite girl joyfully pointing at a fine white blouse complete with a golden skirt.

Elle gazed up at Azula while the monarch inspected the outfit with a choosy eye all the while observing as the girl childishly tugged on her robes.

“Can I have it? Please? Please Azula-sama!” The blonde-haired girl cried out while staring up at her princess’s stoic face.

“She really likes it Azula. You should buy it for her.” Ty Lee stated while giggling over Elle’s lovable nature.

“Try it on first. That’s an order.” The princess demanded while pointing down at her young handmaid with a domineering stare as the girl nodded speedily.

“Yes Azula-sama. As my princess charming commands.” Elle agreed before bowing respectfully at the waist while Azula’s red lips curled into a pleased smile.

Then Azula turned to watch the girl scamper off into the changing booth all the while nodding her head in approval of the girl’s submission.

“She is such a marvelous pet.” Azula commented with the other two women staring at her in varying levels of discomfort.

“Azula! How many times do I have to tell you that she’s not a pet!” The brown-haired girl protested only for her leader to snidely roll her eyes.

“You are just jealous that I found her first Ty Lee.” The princess boasted with her hands on her hips as she turned to smirk at her childhood friend while the other woman groaned in frustration.

“This day is not pink! Not pink at all!” Ty Lee growled out comically while her two friends observed in amusement.

That was when all three women were startled by a high-pitched scream that came from the girl’s changing booth.

“Is someone in the booth?” Mai pondered as she rushed forward with Azula sprinting towards the stall with a trace of concern in her hardened gaze.

“G-get off me! Ahh! It’s so big and hairy! Eeh! I-it’s yellow! Azula-sama save me!” Elle shouted in a terrified voice as the three finally reached the changing stall.

Needless to say, it certainly sounded like a man was in changing booth attempting to do the unspeakable to the poor handmaid.

Team Azula exchanged concerned glances just when the mighty princess kicked the door open with one swing of her booted foot.

The regal woman’s face was entrenched into a scowl while finding a sense of white-hot anger had overcome her at the thought of her admirer being molested in the stall.

Her hands were alit with blue fire only to find herself gazing into the booth with widened eyes.

Azula was quick to recover as she gazed into the stall now rolling her elegant golden eyes at the screaming girl.

“Whoever is in there you better…get out…huh?” Ty Lee blurted as she slid to a stop behind Azula while they all three of them gazed in taken aback by the sight.

“G-gross! What are you waiting for! G-get it off me!” The blonde-haired girl screamed in a hysterical voice as she hopped about with a large spider crawling across her bare back.

This was the first time they heard the girl take on a more forceful tone.

The young girl continued to spin in a maddened circle in her panties all the while covering her developing chest.

“To think that I was actually worried.” Mai spoke dryly before respectfully turning her back from the near naked teenager.

“A spider? That’s what this was all about? A small spider?” The princess snorted in a voice laced with amusement as she watched the girl hop onto the changing bench.

“Azula! Get it off her! It doesn’t matter if it’s just a spider. She’s scared. Don’t taunt her!” The brown-haired woman exclaimed while the princess sighed before striding into the booth.

“S-small! T-this is s-small! I-it’s almost as big as my head! I-it’s in my hair! I-it’s in my hair! A-Azula-sama! Help me! I-it’s on my face! I-I am going to have a heart attack!” Elle stammered while slamming into the wall as she shrieked when the large arachnid scampered across her eyes.

The two noblewomen exchanged a glance that conveyed how stunned they were over the girl’s extreme fear of the spider.

That was when Azula stepped over Elle’s much smaller frame before speedily removing the arachnid from her handmaid’s panicked face.

“Ugh! Calm yourself servant! I’ve extracted the creature! All this fuss over a spider! I can’t believe I thought for a moment that a man was in this stall!” Azula shouted while looming over Elle with the near naked girl still panting as she glanced about in a mad state of terror.

All the while the princess continued to scoff as she held the squirming spider before her hardened eyes.

“G-get that thing away from my head! O-or I am going to die of a panic attack! G-get rid of it or I am running the opposite w-way and never looking back!” The blonde-haired girl cried out in a surprisingly angered voice while the princess stared down at her in shock.

“Did…you just give me an order?” The princess demanded with her eyes narrowing down at Elle only to realize that she was having another breathing attack.

“Y-yes! I-I will pick all the cherry pits that you want! I-I’ll spend the evening serving your drinks! I-I’ll scrub the palace floors but get that beast away from me!” Elle called out to even Mai’s astonishment as she glared up at the furry yellow spider.

“Quit your screaming Elle! I’ll incinerate the creature.” Azula grumbled in a moody voice when the girl cried out once more.

“D-don’t kill it! Just…put it outside!” The blonde-haired girl exclaimed while the princess gazed down in disbelief.

“Now that’s just…” The princess trailed off when Mai finally grasped ahold of the arachnid.

“Azula. You need to learn that sometimes in dating. You need to do what the other person wants…or else.” Mai remarked as she carried the squirming spider in her clenched fist.

“Or else what?” Azula scoffed before peering down in surprise over Elle’s outrage.

“O-or else it’s back to eating cherry pits for you! D-don’t you ever hang a spider near my head again! That! Is where I draw the line!” The blonde-haired girl declared comically while swiftly extracting her inhaler from her bag.

“If I wasn’t fond of you, I would punish you for this defiance!” The princess snapped while the small girl opened her breather as she still rasped for air.

“Azula! This is Elle’s line. You just have to accept it and deal with the fact that she’s going to yell at you if you don’t keep her spider free! All things considered Azula. She’s not asking for much.” Ty Lee advised while standing behind her friend with her arms folded over her bust.

“That is a rather trivial line in the sand if you ask me. But very well…I shall overlook this. If only because it is just further validation of why a mousy little girl like you needs my strength.” Azula announced with her hands on her hips as she still loomed over Elle while the girl wheezed for air.

“Just…regain relax little sister. It’s over now.” The brown-haired woman assured before exiting the booth while the princess glanced back at the smaller girl.

“I’ll be outside if you need me…hm?” The princess pondered as she peered down at her pet rather puzzled when she grasped ahold of her pant leg.

The brief spurt of anger was somewhat refreshing in truth.

Though she was displeased over being yelled at by her own pet.

She was somewhat pleased at the same time.

It was proof that the girl had a spark of fire within her…even if it was buried deep down.

“P-please stay.” Elle pleaded in a softer voice while Azula gave her a questioning glance before turning to nod at Ty Lee to close the door.

“Just a moment ago you were shouting at me…and now you want me to stay while you change?” Azula asked while peering down at the recovering girl with a quirked brow.

“S-sumimasen Azula-sama for yelling at you.” The blonde-haired girl mumbled in a return to usual self while the princess towered over her.

“I’ll let it slide. But I suggest you remember that I am your master. Is that clear girl?” The princess stated strictly while watching in approval as the girl bowed her head in reverence.

“Yes, Azula-sama. You are my dominant…” Elle trailed off while bowing in her seat before Azula when a palm reached down to pat her head.

Now those words were vastly gratifying to hear.

“Good girl. So, you do enjoy submission after all.” Azula purred while tracing her fingers through her admirably loving handmaid’s hair.

“I…do. But I also hate spiders. Please sit with me while I change. There…might be more.” The blonde-haired girl admitted while glancing up at her amused master with worried amber eyes.

“Are you requesting the Princess of the Fire Nation to protect you from a tiny spider?” The princess pondered while staring down at her near naked servant with pleased golden eyes.

“You bet your beautiful royal butt I am! That was not small!” Elle exclaimed in a comical return to her anger while Azula gazed down at her with a smirk gracing her lips.

“You like my bottom, do you?” Azula taunted while removing her hand from her pet’s hair while the girl blushed as she bent over to change.

“Who wouldn’t? It’s so…well formed.” The blonde-haired girl confided while flushing in embarrassment when the woman’s smooth laughter filled her ears.

“Those words please me. Very well. I will guard you.” The princess commented while seating herself beside the daintier girl with a possessive gleam in her eyes.

“Azula-sama?” Elle began uncertainly in a voice that the older female decided she enjoyed as she gazed at her from the corner of her eye.

“What is it Elle?” Azula asked while folding her arms over her breasts as she turned to peer down at her servant.

She has noticed that she is finding herself compelled to use the girl’s name more often.

It was a curious feeling but she simply went along with it.

Her handmaid was very well behaved, in her mind she has earned the right to be called by name.

“D-do…you really…like me? As in…potentially return my…” The blonde-haired girl trailed off while swallowing as she sat with her back turned to the princess.

“Of course, I do. Do you really think that I would be treating any other servant like this if I didn’t?” The princess answered while snorting derisively as she gazed over her shoulder at the girl’s smooth back.

“No. Your Highness…I just had to ask. Because I…treasure you more than life itself. I…want to be…” Elle spoke while swallowing nervously as she felt her heartbeat at an abnormal rate.

Azula was silent for a moment while peering at the girl’s angelic mane of golden blonde hair that swept down the curves of her budding back.

Elle truly was a sight to behold, even she cannot deny that.

The girl was…just gorgeous.

“Y-your girl!” The blonde-haired girl blurted out with a lovable blush consuming her cheeks as she sat back against the woman’s robed leg.

Unbeknownst to her the princess was gazing down at her with marginally widened eyes.

There was not much that Princess Azula would deem ‘adorable’.

But hearing her lovely little pet confess that she wanted to be her girl…

“Let’s continue to get to know one another. We’ll see…if you are my girl. You just might be.” The princess announced while turning away with her stoic eyes peering at the closed door.

“Yes princess.” Elle agreed in a joyful voice while Azula’s curling lips reflected just how fond she had become of her younger companion.

“So…you hate spiders, do you?” Azula taunted in a playful voice while watching as Elle slipped the blouse over her shoulders.

“I do. And I expect you to keep those monsters away from me. Don’t even try to tell me no. It ought to be trivial for a woman of your strength.” The blonde-haired girl stated as she stood up with her small backside facing the amused woman.

“Please! I am more than capable of exterminating premature volcano sac spiders!” The princess scoffed while brushing her hair from her eyes as she admired the girl’s tight bottom.

“T-that wasn’t an adult?” Elle stuttered with her eyes widening in terror while Azula eyed her in amusement.

“Hm. No. They grow about two times that…size.” Azula responded while blinking in puzzlement when Elle released a horrified high-pitched scream that resounded throughout the entire store.

The princess cupped her palms over her ears in annoyance while the blonde pranced about with her lovely legs shivering in fear.

“G-gross! The biggest spider in my world isn’t as big as my head! It’s about half the size of what I just saw! And that is as an adult! And it’s on the other side of the planet! In the Amazon rain forest! Most spiders are the size of my fingernail! Disgusting! Absolutely repulsive!” The blonde-haired girl yelled out while Azula gazed down at her in genuine bewilderment.

Ultimately Azula decided against teasing the girl any further.

If only to silence her piercing screams.

Elsewhere in the store Mai listened in mild amusement while staring at Ty Lee’s sweatdropping face.

“Wow. Azula just might have her work cut out for her!” Ty Lee chirped while Mai nodded as she sunk back against the wall.

Several minutes later Elle emerged from the stall with Azula standing over her while the princess gazed down in approval.

The young girl turned with her skirt falling down to her knees while smiling up at the tall woman with appreciation in her eyes.

“I really like it Azula-sama. How do I look?” Elle pondered while turning with a blush on her cheeks while Azula’s eyes followed her closely.

“Lovely.” Azula responded while smiling down at Elle just as the other two women approached from around the corner.

“Aww! You look so pretty Elle!” Ty Lee informed while Mai nodded stoicly in mutual agreement.

“T-thank you. I was hoping so…” The blonde-haired girl trailed off shyly while peering up at her master in adoration.

“Come Elle. There is one small addition that I want to make.” The princess ordered while snapping her fingers just as she began striding through the store.

Her pet sped after her with her backpack over her shoulders all the while smiling brightly.

Even happier than earlier.

“What addition do you have in mind princess?” Elle requested in a faithful voice while Azula turned to her with a small bow tie in hand.

“This.” Azula purred as she began to wrap the golden bow tie around the girl’s neck all the while Elle peered up at her flushing furiously.

“I really like it!” The blonde-haired girl cried out while grasping at the woman’s robed belly.

“It suits you. Now I believe that we’re all set.” The princess stated while smirking down at her servant while the girl blushed with her little hands tugging at her robes.

That was when they heard the acrobat clear her throat which prompted them to turn to see Ty Lee grinning brightly with a truly embarrassing outfit in hand.

Mai was staring at Elle’s baffled face in unconcealed pity while the cheery acrobat held up the tiger monkey costume.

“Ty Lee…what in Agni’s name is that?” Azula snorted while staring at the animal costume with deadpan golden eyes.

“What does it look like! It’s a tiger monkey costume! She’ll look sooo adorable in it Azula! Can I get it for Elle! Please little sister! You should totally wear this!” Ty Lee cooed while gazing at the princess pleadingly with the regal woman scrunching her nose up in disapproval.

And most comically was the fact that Elle scurried behind Azula just as soon as she laid eyes on the absurd costume.

“Oh, so now you’re dictating what she can wear? I was under the impression that we were here strictly for formal dinner wear. You berate me for browsing the battle armor but this…is acceptable?” The princess demanded as she waved her hand in the air with her servant peeking out from behind her sloped back.

“Oh, come on Azula! Elle’s not a warrior and you know it! But she is a cutie!” The brown-haired woman insisted while the princess gazed back rolling her regal eyes all the while.

“Azula-sama? Do I have to wear that?” Elle mumbled in a comically fearful voice while her looming master glanced down at her over her shoulder.

“No, you do not. Just ignore Ty Lee. Let us proceed to payment.” Azula scoffed while stepping forward with Elle humorously shadowing her footsteps.

“Aww please! Little sister!” Ty Lee whined as she peered at Elle’s bashful face hiding behind Azula while Mai groaned all the while.

“Now you’re the one scaring her Ty Lee. I don’t blame the girl for not wanting to be caught dead in that.” Mai remarked while gazing at her cheerful friend’s grinning face as she pursued the two.

“She’s my pet! Not yours. Go play dress up with someone else Ty Lee. This one belongs to me.” The princess retorted in a spoiled voice with the petite blonde padding behind her back.

“How many times do I have to tell you! She’s not a pet! She’s our adorable friend! And she’ll look very cute in this!” The brown-haired woman yelled out while the princess glanced at her rolling her eyes once more.

“Can we please leave the clothing store now Azula-sama?” The blonde-haired girl requested timidly while holding onto her master’s shirt with a timid hand.

“Yes…let’s do just that.” Azula stated while brushing past her acrobatic friend’s pouting face with her handmaid scampering behind her.

“Well I’m going to buy it for her anyway. It’s just so cute!” Ty Lee exclaimed before rushing to the front of the store to pay for the costume.

Moments later they were seen exiting the store while Elle walked happily between Azula and Mai all the while peering up at both women.

“Oneesan Mai…you’re the only one that didn’t have me try out an outfit.” Elle spoke while gazing up at the woman with a smile on her lips.

“That’s because unlike Azula and Ty Lee I am not going to force my tastes upon you.” Mai explained in her usual tone while peering down at Elle with a flicker of fondness in her gaze.

The markswoman’s words earned an even brighter smile from the blonde and a loud scoff from the princess.

“Oh please. The girl craves my dominant leadership and we all know it…where was it you wanted to go now?” The princess commented while striding with her stern gaze shifting down to her petite handmaid’s joyful face.

There was no doubt about it…the girl did indeed enjoy her dominance.

“…Bookstore…p-please…” The blonde-haired girl murmured while peering up at her master’s curious face with a radiant smile.

All the while Ty Lee emerged from the clothing store with a shopping bag slung over her arm while she beamed as she chased after her friends.

“Very well. The bookstore it is then.” Azula agreed in her usual strict voice while pulling Elle alongside her as the girl smiled bashfully up at her.

“Arigatou gozaimasu Azula-sama…” Elle trailed off while staring up at Azula’s stony face with redness lining her timid cheeks.

The princess quirked an elegant brow while returning the girl’s gaze as she maneuvered through the evening shopping market.

“F-for bringing me out for such a wonderful evening…this girl is grateful.” The blonde-haired girl confessed while gazing up at the princess with a joyful tear sliding down her cheek.

“You are welcome…Elle. Now no more crying. You know how much it annoys me.” Azula answered while peering down at the girl’s sniffling face while she nodded with her vibrant eyes shining like the sun.

“Y-yes. My princess charming.” Elle responded while smiling warmly as her hand was suddenly clutched by her master’s strong palm.

“Hm. Indeed I am.” The princess purred with her lips curving into a refined smirk while guiding her little admirer through the busy streets.

All along the two noblewomen stared after them while exchanging an amused glance with one another.

“I think they’ll make a beautiful couple.” Ty Lee spoke with a grin while Mai closed her eyes sighing.

“Let us hope…for Elle’s sake.” Mai commented while following after her leader and their new companion.

Nearly twenty minutes later…

Azula gazed on curiously while observing Elle peer through the ample selection of books with awe in her eyes.

All the while Mai watched over the princess’s shoulder with her tawny eyes also finding the girl’s behavior to be somewhat amusing.

“Are you aware that this is the place she wanted to go to the most? Not the weapon store…or the arena but the bookstore?” The markswoman asked quietly while the regal woman turned her head with her brow raised inquisitively.

“I’ve gathered as much by now Mai.” The princess replied while peering after the small girl with her hand curled up beneath her chin.

“Azula…you should help her.” The brown-haired woman whispered while nudging the callous woman’s side.

“Hm?” Azula pondered while tilting her head in curiosity.

“She isn’t familiar with Fire Nation calligraphy. Help her pick something out.” Ty Lee advised with a smile while Azula gazed after Elle with a thoughtful demeanor about her.

“…What should I choose?” Elle mumbled while holding a comic in her hand with her eyes drifting over the foreign lettering.

Always eager to demonstrate her superior leadership the princess strode forward without delay.

Intending to show her little admirer that she was the most knowledgeable woman there was.

Even on the most mundane of subjects.

“So, you like comics, do you?” The princess greeted with a charming purr that laced her voice while stepping over the girl with her hands folded behind her back.

“I-I do…but I can’t read the covers. Would Her Highness be so kind as to help me find something?” The blonde-haired girl confessed in a sheepish voice as she set the title back down while gazing up at the princess’s charismatic smiling face.

“Of course. I’ll lend you my brilliance once more. Come.” Azula remarked while snapping her fingers in a domineering manner with her lips forming a confident smirk.

“Yes Azula-sama. Please guide me.” Elle stated shyly while trailing after Azula before the regal woman came to a stop before a particular rack.

“This one.” The princess commented without delay while picking up a comic that she held before her admirer’s curious face.

“What is it about?” The blonde-haired girl queried with pink adorning her cheeks while the woman glanced down at it thoughtfully.

“It is about the dragons of old and how they brought firebending to my ancestors.” Azula explained with a proud voice while enjoying how Elle’s mouth hung open in excitement.

“It sounds riveting! I trust in my princess’s judgement…I would like that one.” Elle announced while grinning up at Azula while she retrieved the other issues from the shelf.

The princess made a mental note of Elle’s hobby while holding all four issues as she made her way to the checkout counter.

Until she was Fire Lord, Elle would have to remain in the servant’s quarters.

But she decided that she would reward her pet with regular reading material to occupy herself in her free time.

“Then you shall have it…continue to be a good girl and I will personally supply your reading material.” The princess informed while glancing down at the petite blonde’s overjoyed face.

“Arigatou gozaimasu!” The blonde-haired girl spoke tenderly while bowing at the hip before her princess’s discerning eye.

“You truly are a fine servant. I approve of you.” Azula announced with a refined smile gracing her crimson lips as she surveyed her polite handmaid’s bowing face.

“T-those words mean more to me than I can ever say. I am honored to be in your service…Master Azula.” Elle chimed with her arm held before her chest just as she glanced up into entrancing golden eyes.

“Good to know. You may rise now.” The princess commented while waving her hand with a gratified twitch of her lips.

“Yes! As my princess commands!” The blonde-haired girl cheered with an expression of boundless happiness that shimmered in her amber eyes.

“Hm. Come along now Elle.” Azula ordered before snapping her fingers loudly once more smirking all the while when Elle padded after her heels.

“I…will always follow you Azula-sama…wherever you take me.” Elle spoke with passion lacing her voice while staring up at Azula as she gazed down at her with a rare appreciation in her stare.

The two gazed into each other’s eyes for what seemed like an eternity before the princess answered her handmaid with a curt nod of her head.

No further words were spoken as the two made their way to the front of the bookstore.

But no more had to be said between the princess and her devoted servant.

For their bond had already grown deeper than words can ever convey.

[lizzybeth1986]

I love the code name, and I'll hopefully remember to sign my messages with it from now on. I'm actually quite flattered that I've earned one, so ty for that. I somehow came up with 2 more questions, most likely to turn into essays, for you. 1 should be more lighthearted than the other, so I'm gonna start heavy if ya don't mind xD. You've touched briefly on how families affect the courtly ladies, so I wanted to see your take on how families have shaped the people at court. Have fun!-CL anon :D

You come up with such amazing questions, CL anon! How do you do it! 😁

So...hmm...how families shape the people in court. That's a pretty loaded question! And I mean "loaded" in the sense that when we're talking about "family" in an environment like this, we're also talking about the larger society they inhabit and what values from that society these parents were busy instilling in these children.

Sometimes the struggle I have with theorizing on these things, is that Book 1 starts out with very different ideas of what modern Cordonian society is supposed to be like, but by Book 3 or Book 4 they have developed other ideas that contradict it...or that you have to really work around to make sense of. For instance, the entire idea of open relationships being accepted in Cordonia that crops up conveniently in Book 2 just so the MC can sleep with whoever she wants after she's gotten engaged...yet the same society has such a strong disapproval of PDA that you can lose points with the general public for even joking about being intimate with someone (can these two things happen in the same space? Of course!! But that point from Book 2 does make the overall stuffy atmosphere in Book 1 about displaying affection look a little confusing, you have to admit). So...making sense of these things with the way the books have changed over the series is challenging, but doable.

The one thing that gets clearer and clearer as the story progresses...is that most noble children seem to grow into an awareness from a younger age itself that their public life should not reflect their private ones. Another is that, in the political climate of the time - they may not understand everything that is going on...but their parents have inadvertently taught them to grow up in fear (a legitimate fear, considering the threats at the time). I'll start with the palace, then move to the duchies. (I won't include Drake and Hana much in this, as Drake's family seemed to operate very differently - and honestly we know way more about his American roots than his Cordonian ones - and Hana grew up in another country...though there will be a short paragraph about her towards the end).

--

Liam

Liam grew up in the palace, the second son and younger brother to the royal heir, but you can tell there were things he had to learn pretty early on in his childhood. Things like compromise. Things like weighing what was more important to the country at a time when many children should be caring about their own needs.

It's not a very easy life, Liam's. His mother was murdered when he was still a young boy. His father often neglected him (remember the Eiffel Tower sequence where he justifies Constantine breaking a promise to visit the landmark with him, by recognizing that his father had bigger responsibilities as King?) and expected a great deal from him even at an early age (I mean...forcing an eight year old into hours of diplomacy meetings for three whole weeks??). And while race is never really mentioned in the books, the subtext is there that Eleanor and Liam possibly might have had to work harder for approval from the court than, say, Leo.

Added to this is the entry of Regina later on, after Eleanor's death. I feel like some aspects of her are based on Queen Elizabeth II - especially the way she advocates for stoicism in Book 1 (which is why she is so hard on herself after Constantine's death, in Book 3). Every move of hers is consciously planned and measured so that only certain aspects of herself will be visible to the general public, and I do think Liam draws a little bit on that with his own public image as well. This can be advantageous, because that means someone like Regina (and Liam) will be in control of their image. Only what they want to show, is shown. But it does mean that they have to weigh anything and everything they do with particular care.

In the "wedding advice" scene in Book 3, Liam speaks of how - even if they did have a conflict - Constantine and Regina would always show a publicly united front (and we see elements of that in the aftermath of the MC's scandal. Regina doesn't openly disagree with Constantine's actions, but she does adopt countermeasures because she sees a bigger picture that Constantine isn't willing to see). The family as a whole seems to be very image conscious (and they would be! The royals will be subject to way more scrutiny from the press and the public than most children, so parents will do whatever they can to protect those children from the worst aspects of it) and have to keep in mind that even their slightest reactions in public could have consequences. You see this pretty clearly in the way Liam handles the chaos at the Coronation Ball. He does what he has to, to calm the court down even though he is personally in turmoil - and we see how much turmoil he is in right after he has made his way to the MC's room.

This might be more extensive than most of the other characters, most coz he is an LI and some of his arc was supposed to revolve around being a different man from his father (they...dropped the ball on that one in Book 3).

Maxwell

To me, at least in the beginning, the Beaumonts were supposed to represent two extremes in one House. Propriety is extremely important, and you see this clearly in the way Bertrand speaks and acts and even thinks. But at the same time, their space is also a space for the nobility to let loose and go wild, as one can see from their Beaumont Bashes. These two extremes are represented pretty accurately in both Bertrand and Maxwell, and in a limited way in their parents as well.

Barthelemy expects a great deal out of his sons (even though he isn't exactly the best at meeting expectations himself. In that way he reminds me a little of Sebastian Delacroix's father from The Junior) and requires that they keep the honour of Beaumont House first. But the mother...even though we never actually meet her or even know her name (a pity)...we do know that she made people relaxed and comfortable around her, and wanted her younger boy to be happy with who he was. In Maxwell's wedding advice, he speaks of the importance of laughter - how his mother made his serious-looking father laugh and that was the most enduring image he had of their relationship.

But it's not like the family wasn't prey to the tense political climate that was there in the country when the boys were younger. For instance, Maxwell's fear of carousels is deeply rooted in his own family's fears of their children getting targeted - because he tells us "I was only three, I had no idea what was going on...And because our parents had spent so much time trying to warn us about dangers, I thought I was going to get murdered". I mean...imagine being three and having those thoughts!! I think that kind of insight should give us pause, because it does direct us to how an unstable political climate can bleed its way into the personal life or people, of their families and children.

I do wonder what implications and impact the discussions between Bartie Sr and Godfrey have on the family, though. Because if most of the fandom is right about what those two were planning, I see Bertrand and Madeleine as the people who will correct the wrongs of their parents in their support of the Crown, much in the way Olivia was last book.

Kiara

Kiki's family is actually my favourite of the lot, and we can see how she developed her skills in an environment that was supportive, and vibrant with challenges and creative stimulation. It's clear that she is one of the few people who really thrived in her family environment. Nothing was really forced on her: learning languages, and mock-treaties, and diplomacy were all things she had an aptitude for, so she went for them. And I'm guessing given the speed at which the book had Hakim and Joelle accept Zeke's decision (which could be retconning for all we know, but I do think it doesn't jar with their characterization until that point)...had Zeke opened up to them earlier, they would have figured out a way without the MC or Penelope having to convince him to open up in the first place.

One thing that I loved about Kiara's family arc was that if the MC tried to sass her about whether "everything in your family is a negotiation", or tried to cast Kiara and her family into this bland, staid stereotype of "negotiators who have no personal connection as a family", Kiki would shut that nonsense down. Every single time. She would establish that these are things important and personal to the family, and make it clear that the MC is no one to judge how they interact as a family.

Hakim and Joelle are my favourite older couple in the series, honestly. We're told they met and fell in love in college, and that their political views align more with Liam's than they do with Constantine's. In fact Liam at one point even tells us that Joelle was "the kind of person King Fabian would have approved of", and she speaks the same language about how it isn't merely enough for the country to be safe - it needs to thrive as well.

Hakim and Joelle are very different people, and in her wedding advice Kiara tells us they "delight in their differences". This is especially apparent in a fail play, where Hakim plans to go to the wedding, and Joelle winds up going to Switzerland. There's plenty of banter between them beforehand about their different ways of thinking, but expressing the same delight.

If there is only one flaw, it's in the writers - because in their mad rush to make Kiara's trauma look like it didn't matter in Castelserraillian, everyone was made to look as if they didn't care...including her parents. Which is bizarre coz the entire reason Hakim was going to leave in the first place was the fact that his daughter suffered in that attack! They never let Joelle mention anything about what Kiara went through, up until the end where she asks us if we took care of Kiara during the tour (and we are the fucking lowlifes here who didn't put the effort to, so Kiara ends up having to lie through her teeth that we "had my back").

I do see Kiara having a particular idea of "strength" that she holds everyone up to, including herself. The whole reason she even agrees with us when we manipulate/emotionally blackmail her into coming for the wedding, is because she's ashamed of herself. She wants to handle her trauma the way she handled everything else, and finds it impossible. I don't see anything that proves this is something she picked up from her family, because even while diplomatic, Hakim is open about his feelings when upset (eg. Constantine) and Joelle is expressive as well. It probably might be more of something she has imbibed in court, and in the overall culture of Cordonia itself. But the fact that the writers made sure she had support from no one, not even her family, up until readers raised questions....that is bizarre, and pretty disgusting.

But other than that, the family is interesting for their political views, and their openmindedness, which is rare in the noble family dynamics we have seen so far.

Olivia

Besides her love for knives and weapons, Olivia's determination to make the Nevrakis name one to look up to...is her entire story arc. Her story revolves around doing the exact opposite of what her parents did, of what her aunt and Anton Severus wanted to do.

Olivia is the rare person in the books who is shown without her family at all, and that is because she lost hers at the age of five. Her aunt (great-aunt in Book 1, but they made Lucretia her mother's sister in Book 3) left her and hid in the French Riviera, insisting that "the Nevrakis heir shouldn't have needed me to hold her hand and wipe away her little tears". This is something Olivia is angry about, but accepts because she has equally high standards of her own resilience.

There is plenty in the culture of Lythikos that contributes to Olivia's character as well. These people pride in their ability to survive, their determination to power through the most challenging, exacting situations. They're a militaristic society, and Olivia takes to that mindset like a fish to water. She believes in self-reliance because it's a hard bitter lesson she has had to grow up with (though one must not discount the value of Liam as a support) and because it's part of her culture, and it's become so much a part of her thinking that when the MC insists to Lucretia that relying on friends and allies is not weakness, just common sense - Olivia is equal parts grateful and shocked by the logic of that statement. It has literally never occurred to her that she can voluntarily reach out for help!

Olivia grew up in circumstances no child should have to grow up in, and manages to embody the best of her culture in contrast to her family. She adopts her father's moniker "if you can breathe you can stand, if you can stand you can fight", but reinterprets it to mean she can fight for her beliefs, fight for more than just her family and duchy. She adopts all the good in the Nevrakis clan while working to obliterate the parts that can place her loved ones in danger.

Penelope

I've actually mentioned this before, but one of the best examples of "winging it" you can see from the books, is Penelope. The writing for her just bounces from one gaffe to another so that when you look at her overall story, nothing adds up. You have to literally stretch logic to connect the dots in her story! (I know, because I've tried).

In Book 1 she suffers from seasickness, but somehow in Book 3 she has grown up by the seaside and there is practically no mention of aforementioned seasickness. In Book 2 her family insist that she not return to court without a suitor (both her parents!) yet somehow in Book 3 when we actually meet her family you'd wonder how Landon would have allowed such things to be said to his daughter. There's a no-pets-allowed rule among the royals that Liam somehow changed when he became King, so how the hell did Penelope's parents think she was going to manage court without her emotional support animals? That too a social season and an entire world tour after that?? A lot about the writing for this family doesn't even make sense, and in some ways you can tell that the writers realized they hit a goldmine with the arc about Penelope's anxiety only when they published it, and then milked it for all it was worth (I know that sounds awful, and it is. But if they'd really, genuinely planned this properly, Penelope wouldn't appear so poorly developed as a character).

Landon and Emmeline are meant to serve as an inspiration to Drake, for their commitment to their people is something he wants to emulate (either as a Duke, or as someone who will do...something in court, I guess). The writing splits the major concerns between them: Emmeline is the Duchess who inherited this estate, and who will work through any condition or situation she is in to do her best for them. Emmeline particularly, seems to have a similar drive to power through - as Olivia, Regina and Madeleine show - the worst situations in the name of "stand up for Portavira".

Landon on the other hand, is more concerned about Penelope's well-being (not that Emmeline isn't, it's more like she doesn't fully understand how difficult it all is for Penelope), and reluctant to place her in situations where she is not comfortable (which is why the hints about them in Book 2 sound so jarring on rereads).

What stands out to me, especially in Penelope's characterization is how much coddling she has come to expect, from everyone. There is very little effort - or even inclination - to right her wrongs. Part of this is the writers seriously retconning the narrative on what Penelope did to the MC, so that NO ONE ever brings it up again. But it's partly also because, as I said, they were fully ready to commit to her story in a way they didn't for Kiara. Often I wonder what it would be like if Landon and Emmeline did get to know about Penelope's involvement. I think they'd focus their anger on the Crown for placing her in that situation in the first place, and going by this characterization they may also make Penelope out to be the victim in this situation (which isn't too far off the mark - but we also mustn't ignore how coddled Penelope is most of the time and how entitled she often sounds). But even this wouldn't be so bad if we saw Penelope take responsibility for her actions, which she never does in Book 3.

One thing I do remember from her "wedding advice" was how she spoke a lot about the need to relax in their relationship, and how in-tune they are as a couple. So in a lot of ways their success with their duchy lies in how they balance their work and family (which apparently Landon seems more comfortable doing? Because he doesn't keep as much pressure on himself for Portavira in the way Emmeline does).

Penelope's family honestly...is a mixed bag. But I can say that for the most part they're supposed to represent a supportive family that deals with a child's diagnosis of their mental health by providing support, and a couple that is dedicated to their people.

Madeleine

The characterization for Madeleine also bounces from one concept to another, tbh. They started out with writing her as merely power-hungry, manipulative, duplicitous....before retconning completely and putting all of this under the label "patriotic". There is a huge, huge disconnect between the Madeleine that rejoiced in almost breaking her lady-in-waiting, and the one who places too much pressure on herself "for the sake of Cordonia". A North Pole to South Pole sized gap, really.

If it weren't for the fact that they wrote her family storyline only because they were really that desperate to make us sympathize with Madeleine, I would have found it interesting. The seeds of it begin in the second half of Book 2, when we notice Adeleide worrying about the pressure becoming Queen is going to place on Madeleine.

In Book 3, we're faced with her father who constantly dubs her a failure and doesn't see her as worthy of attention unless he can benefit from it. And with her mother, who wants to show her support, but can't in a way her daughter is comfortable with. There is a constant emphasis in Madeleine's storyline on expectations, dealing with constant failure, and resilience. She doesn't have the kind of support system she wants from either of her parents, so she has to find her own way to make lemonade out of those lemons. So each time she has to convince herself that each failure is only another step towards the biggest success possible (marrying into the royal family), and when she is robbed of that, twice, she is left having nothing else to muster up the motivation for. Which is why, then, they promote the Cordonia angle so aggressively.

Only problem is, you don't exactly get this impression from Book 2. A person with Book 3 Madeleine's bent of mind, whose main aim was to do her best for Cordonia and who spoke of the importance of an entourage...wouldn't be so short sighted as to think that just because she was engaged she won everything, esp when her last fiancé fell in love and broke off his engagement to her as well. She wouldn't be so careless in her treatment of her own ladies-in-waiting, all of whom (except Hana, and even her family has immense influence even though her mother is from a minor noble house) are from powerful Houses and families, whose support she would need in the future.

Even if one brushes off her bullying of Hana and Penelope as no big deal (as I'm very sure some of her fans do), the fact remains that at the very least such behaviour is short-sighted and in a better story would reveal that she doesn't exactly have Cordonia's best interests in mind after all, if she jumps at the slightest excuse to burn bridges with these powerful families before she even becomes Queen.

In any case...Madeleine's family ranks as one of the messiest of the lot - her father is uninterested/feigns disinterest in the country unless it involves being involved in some elaborate plot against the monarchy, and her mother shows disinterest in her duchy overall, but is clearly invested in what makes her daughter happy. Her mother is supportive, just not in the way Madeleine wants support.

Regina also hails from Krona, and Madeleine is in some ways a reflection of her values and beliefs - which is why the two get along so well. So even though Adeleide is the Duchess of Krona, I'm pretty sure she's an anomaly in a family full of women who practice stoicism and diplomacy in their regular lives.

Hana

This note is going to be small, because as I explained earlier she was brought up in a completely different environment. Hana was brought up in a manner meant to make her flexible to whichever family she would marry into - so she learns different styles of horse riding, learns diplomacy over a toy tea set, is expected to know all the 26 important dance varieties in Cordonia by the time she is an adult, grows up learning about the countries neighbouring Cordonia as well. I have a whole other essay that speaks about her upbringing alone, so I won't speak much about that here, but you definitely get the feeling that her parents spent so much time trying to cultivate an asset for themselves that they rarely ever stopped to think about her as a person.

--

The overall impression I do get from modern Cordonian nobility in the books (not just from these guys, but also interactions with other nobles like Rashad and Neville, and palace staff like Bastien) is that Cordonia is a culturally diverse place, and people in different estates have different dynamics that are influenced by their family situation and by the culture they were born into, but overall there is more of an inclination to show resilience and power, than to confess to weakness. Which makes sense, because many of them are public figures under immense scrutiny, who are aware of the kind of message they could send if they show the slightest signs of weakness. That's my overall impression of this.

I hope you enjoyed that, CL anon! Now I'm curious about what the next question is 😀

[writingutensilthief]

Picture Day

Its yearly school-picture time, and as expected, the Newton family opts to take them at home instead. A short story based on the prompt “Family”.

(Prologue can be read here.)

Word count: 4,421

There were plenty of other, more technologically efficient ways for Mendel to take pictures, and usually he used those. But for the school pictures, he liked take out the old tripod and camera. 

He enjoyed scrolling through the pictures before uploading the best one to his computer, Likewise, he felt that letting his kids do the same gave them more control of the situation than just looking at the options on a computer monitor. He thought it was useful to mimic the atmosphere of school picture days - having his kids sit on stools in front of a tripod camera against a white background - so they had an idea of what it was like while still being in a comfortable environment at home. It always made him happy when they chose this option as opposed to taking pictures at school. 

The living room had been turned into a make-shift photo studio; the TV had been moved out of the way so the wall behind it could be used as a background, and the couch was pushed back to make room for Mendel, his stool, and the tripod. Sure, he could have just sat on the couch itself, but he thought it was more genuine to use a stool.

“Make sure to mark your names off the list when you get down here!” Mendel yelled out to whichever kids happened to be listening. “We’ll base the order on who gets here first!” He preferred to go in descending order by age, but he didn’t think that was going to happen.

And it didn’t. Kylie was indeed the only one who already knew what she wanted to wear, and strolled into the living room proudly. Her hair was pinned into a bun on top of her head and she had borrowed a button-down shirt, though it looked like a dress on her. 

“That’s a lovely scarf you have on Kylie, it goes well with your shirt.” Mendel complimented as he properly positioned the camera. “Alex let you borrow it?” 

“It’s an ascot,” Kylie corrected as she positioned herself on the stool, pointing to how she had folded the scarf over to mimic one. “She let me look through her side of the closest and I picked the shirt myself, but she did help me with my hair.”

“That was very nice of her, wasn’t it?”

“Mmhmm, it was.” 

Mendel tried to remember which camera setting worked best for school pictures - something he assumed would be on the school rule list but wasn’t - and ended up taking a multitude of pictures of Kylie just trying to figure it out. He apologized each time the flash was up a bit too high, which ended up being most of them.

“At least we know which pictures we can delete right away,” he joked once he got a sufficient amount of pictures on the proper setting. 

“Delete all of the ones where I blinked,” Kylie requested as she rubbed the light spots out of her eyes. “I don’t want to send those in.”

“I wouldn’t do that,” Mendel agreed, already deleting them. He paused and lingered on one particular picture. “Can I keep this picture of you blinking for the family computer? You look cute in this one.” He offered the camera to Kylie so she could look for herself.

But she didn't even entertain the idea. “No. Good pictures only.”

“All right then.” Mendel hoped he didn’t sound too disappointed as he deleted the picture. “You still need to look through the remaining pictures and pick which one you want to take to school with you, though. Do that while I get ready for the next set of pictures.”

Kylie accepted the camera that time. There were only a handful of pictures left for her to look through, so she made quick work out of it. She also made sure to delete the extra pictures so her dad knew exactly which picture she wanted. And in case he still couldn’t tell-

“I left the best picture on the camera, Dad,” she announced as she attempted to hand the camera to him. It ended up falling into his coat pocket instead.

Mendel finished moving his stool next to the other and fished the camera out of his pocket. Before he could say anything, he noticed that she had already wiped her name off the whiteboard list and was leaving the room.

“Great choice, thank you Kylie - and make sure to call in Marian and Mary!” he hoped she heard. “It’s their turn next!” Just because the order didn’t start the way Mendel wanted it didn’t mean he couldn’t try to continue it that way.

Because of that desire Mendel had already changed the layout of the living room photoset. It would be counterproductive, and perhaps a bit mean, to make the twins chose who got their picture first. It made much more sense to take their pictures together and just crop them for each twin.

Giggling came from the other room, indicating that Kylie had indeed heard Mendel’s request. 

Marian came in first, his eyes constantly jumping from his dad to his sister behind him. His sister followed followed suit, more composed than he was but just as excited. The two stood there eagerly, waiting for their dad to comment on their clothes.

Mendel already knew what the two of them were wearing for the pictures - he had heavily suggested to them what to wear so he could make sure they would match - but did notice that Marian was wearing Mary’s hair ribbon. He very briefly wondered who initiated the swap, but didn’t let it concern him.

“Looks like I put the ribbon on the wrong person,” he cooed. “I’m glad you two got that fixed!”

The twins appreciated the approval and continued their laughter as they made their way to the stools. They were old enough to pull themselves onto them without help, though Mary was more graceful about it than her brother. And besides Marian being told to face in the other direction, the two of them easily positioned themselves in the poses they saw their older siblings using for their pictures in the past.

The good mood was infectious, as Mendel had a goofy grin on his face as he took their pictures, even ignoring the slight pain in his back from having to hunch over to use the camera. And, since knew what settings to have his camera on, he hoped that would make it easier for the twins to endure flash photography for the first time.

Marian was able to power through it pretty well, but the bright light caught Mary off guard. A few pictures had Mary looking confused, and before Mendel could stop him, Marian had swirled back around to his original position and hugged onto his sister, smushing his face against hers. 

Mendel thought it was adorable and just had to take some more pictures of the moment, especially when Mary realized what was going on and hugged her brother back. He already knew he was going to save those to the computer, but showed them to the twins anyway so they would be aware of it. He kept his grip on the camera as he scrolled through the pictures, knowing that the two grabbed things to show their liking of it. 

As predicted, the two of them did fling their hands in front of the camera when they liked one of the pictures. Based on how many fingerprints were added to the screen, Mendel got approval to keep all of them. 

“Thank you, you two did a lovely job today!” Mendel again cooed at his youngest children, “All your pictures were wonderful!” He sent them off to call down Juliette, as the list had already circled back to the beginning. Since they couldn’t reach the whiteboard, he took their names off of it himself. 

He then tried to calm himself down from the excitement as he repositioned the photoset yet again to its original location. He knew very well Juliette didn’t respond as well to overt affection as her younger siblings did - but that wasn’t going to stop him from engaging with her entirely.

“Did you find something more comfortable to wear for the picture?” Mendel asked as she made it into the room.

Juliette, still trying to defy the school’s requests, had put on the most generic clothing she could find in her closest. The shorts and tank top sleeves were just long enough that they didn’t break any school rules, though, as she didn’t want her dad to mention it. 

“Yeah.”

“That’s good.” Mendel recognized the outfit as what she wore when it was her day to do laundry. “Did you find a use for that shawl?”

“I gave it to Eli so he has something wear when he colors his hair.”

“That’s sweet of you, Juliette.”

“Mmhm.”

Once Juliette had gotten on the stool she was ready to get her picture taken, aside from one tiny detail. Her annoyed expression remained on her face. Both she and her dad knew the final rule on the school’s list: AND MAKE SURE TO SMILE! You want to put your BEST face forward!

Mendel had a need to follow the rules but didn’t want to antagonize his daughter over something so, in the grand scheme of things, trivial. Juliette wanted to push against the system as it were, but didn’t want to be in situations longer than she had to. So it became a staring contest between Juliette and Mendel, to see who would break first.

It took about a minute of awkward silence for Mendel to suppress a sigh and finally start taking pictures. If the school really wanted her to smile they’ll make her take a photo there, though Mendel doubted that would happen. And if it actually did, he would probably help her fight it if she really didn’t want to be smiling. But he didn’t bring any of that up. Instead, once he had gotten a suitable amount of pictures, he automatically handed the camera over to Juliette. “Pick your favorite and I’ll send in that one.”

Juliette quickly yet half-heartedly flipped through the pictures. She looked the same in all of them aside from a slight difference in eye openness. She considered asking to send in the one where her eyes where half-closed, but figured her dad would object and bring up the rules again. So instead she just handed the camera back to him. “They all look fine, you can pick one.” All of them would show that she didn't want to participate.

“Would I be able to save any of these images to the family computer if I wanted to?” Mendel asked as he accepted the camera.

She shrugged. “Sure.” She stepped off the stool and started towards the name list.

“Thank you, Juliette.” He flipped through the pictures at a more reasonable pace. “I think I’ll send in this fourth picture,” he soon stated just to let her know. “Your eyes are the most open in this one.”

She knew he would pick up on that. “Okay.”

“Tell Eli it’s his turn when you go upstairs.”

“He’s already down here.”

Mendel looked up from the camera in confusion. He was just in time to watch Juliette disappear upstairs and Eli take her place. 

Eli was the only kid who genuinely enjoyed school picture day, so he had followed his sister down when it was her turn. There was no reason to make the wait longer by having to be called down. Besides, the sooner he got his picture taken the brighter his new green tips would look on the photos - and he wanted all the attention on those as opposed to the bits of his natural brown hair that was starting to peek through the blonde dye.

“Do you like my hair, Dad?” he asked, though he already had a feeling of the answer he was going to get. “Alex and I spent all morning on it.”

Mendel thought the mix of colors made him look like a pineapple, but of course he wasn’t going to say that out loud. “You didn’t go for the same green as your old man?” Eli was the only kid he felt he could - very very lightly - joke around with. 

That wasn’t the answer he was expected, but Eli laughed anyway. Mostly because he was remembering Juliette’s comment from earlier. “Nah, I went with a pastel color so I could match with Alex.”

Mendel chuckled. “That was considerate of you. And your hair does look nice.”

“I know.” Eli strided over to the stool and took his time getting into his pose, giving his dad time to finish looking through and setting up the camera again.

Once Mendel was ready for the next round of photos, he looked at Eli’s chosen pose and immediately snorted. “I don’t think that’s the school-required pose, Eli.”

He was leaned off the stool with one leg thrown over the other, one hand holding onto the seat for balance and the other up in a peace sign. Just because he enjoyed getting his picture taken more than his siblings didn’t mean he took it more seriously. “The school will just have to use the picture I take there then. Or both of them again.” Eli kept a copy of that particular yearbook in his room.

Mendel knew he was right. “At least keep your tongue in your mouth. Try to look semi-professional here.” But he knew that wasn’t likely to happen and just accepted the situation, not wanting another stand off.

The request was indeed ignored, as each time the camera flashed Eli would try to swing himself into another ridiculous pose, resulting in most of the pictures taken being blurry shots. Those then ended up being deleted, much to his shock.

“You should be keeping all those. I look great in them!”

“You can barely be seen in them,” Mendel countered. “I’m keeping all the non-blurry ones for you. Speaking of which-” he handed the camera over to his son “- pick which one you want to send to school.” Knowing that he wouldn’t pick right away, Mendel took the liberty of going ahead and erasing Eli’s - and Juliette’s - name off the list to save time.

Eli took the time provided to him to pick the best photo, carefully scrolling through each one. He realized he should have stayed in his first pose, as in the later pictures his limbs are blocking his tips. At least in made choosing a picture easy. 

“Send in the first one.” Eli requested, tossing the camera back at his dad. “But make sure to still keep the others.”

“Thank you, Eli.” The camera slipped out of Mendel’s hands initially but he caught it the second time. “Tell Ivy it’s her turn.” 

He assumed the the footsteps he heard going up the stairs meant that Eli heard him. What he didn’t expect was to hear the same footsteps again before he finished putting the camera back on the tripod.

“Ivy is still working on her hair,” Eli reported.

“Then tell Rita it’s her turn.” 

“Rita’s helping her.”

“Then tell Alex it’s her turn.”

Mendel watched Eli dart upstairs again. He didn’t have much time away from photo taking however, as soon enough he spotted Alex walking downstairs.

Alex walked right past her dad and to the stool. Unlike her siblings, she had no strong opinions about picture day, and saw it merely as a requirement for school. She sat on the stool with little fanfare, shifting around the teddy bear she carried to match the direction she was facing.

According to the school’s rules objects were not allowed to be in the school photo, but Mendel didn’t bother bringing that up. He knew that Alex wouldn’t set down the bear unless she was forced to, and he had no desire to make her. That, and it would have been hypocritical of him to let Juliette and Eli get away with breaking rules and not her.

As the camera started flashing, Alex forced the corners of her mouth upward to form a kind of smile. She felt a slight pain in her face, but kept it up until the pictures were finished. She was supposed to smile in pictures, even if it meant that she had to rub her cheeks to ease the pain afterwards.

Mendel wished he had mentioned not needing to smile beforehand, but instead had to settle for just taking less pictures of her. He looked through them by himself first, to give her time to relax. He wanted to delete all of them expect for the first one where she hadn’t started smiling yet, since it was obvious to him that she was in pain in the later ones. But he also knew that she would probably want to send in one where she was smiling since she forced herself to do so. So he silently sighed and handed the camera back to his daughter for her to choose, starting a conversation along the way. 

“I like your new hair color, Alex. It showed up well in the pictures.”

Alex paused to run her fingers through her hair, as if she needed to see the excess chalk on her hand to remember that she had colored it light purple. “I guess. I wanted it to be blonde like Eli’s.” She didn’t like her dark brown hair - she felt it clashed too much with her naturally pale skin.

“Maybe if you really like having a different hair color, you can get it dyed for real in the future,” Mendel encouraged. “I’m sure Eli will help you then, too. It’s nice you two are sharing interests like this.”

“I guess,” she repeated. Since there were so few pictures to chose from, it didn’t take her too much longer for her to pick one of them and hand the camera back. “The second one.”

“Thank you, Alex.” He used the bottom of his coat to wipe the chalk dust off the camera buttons, purposefully pushing down the delete button on the pictures after the first two. “Tell Ivy it’s her turn again when you’re done with the list.”

“Okay.”

She ended up not needing to, as the moment Alex left the room she bumped into Ivy, who in turn fell into Rita. Alex was momentarily startled to see the two of them already downstairs, but quickly regained her composure and left her sisters to their own business. 

It didn’t take long for Ivy to recover either, and after looking behind her to make sure her sister wasn’t in immediate pain, she scanned over her clothes to make sure no chalk dust got on them. Satisfied with the lack of purple, she continued into the room.

“Does my hair look good?” She asked her dad. She ultimately decided on rolling her coils into a low-hanging bun - originally on top of her head until she saw Kylie sporting the same look - hoping that simplicity was key. “I want to look professional.”

Mendel was more prepared for the sudden entrance of another child this time. “It looks very professional,” he agreed. “I have a colleague who wears her hair very similarly.” Well, the last time he saw her anyway, but that was close enough for reassurance sake.

“Good.” Ivy looked visibly relived, ready to stop thinking so much about it. “Rita is down here too, when we’re done.”

“That’ll make finishing these last two photo shoots a lot easier then. Come have a seat on the stool, it shouldn’t take too long.” He knew she would have done so even without his request, but he was trying to keep the mood relaxed.

Ivy complied, making sure to look directly at the camera when she sat down. She didn’t want to risk blinking in any of the pictures this year.

Learning from his previous mistake, Mendel reminded Ivy that, “You don’t need to force your eyes open, they’ll be multiple pictures to chose from,” before taking the first picture.

But like her sister before her, Ivy still strained her face, occasionally moving it in an attempt to make it less obvious. She blinked away the pain once shoot was over and briefly considered responding to her dad’s comment by saying that she was only doing so because of the flash, since that was partially true. But she decided it wouldn’t be worth partially lying to him.

Mendel let his comment be ignored as well, again looking through the photos himself first to give his daughter a moment of relaxation. He noted that Ivy was better at hiding the pain in her face than Alex was, and figured that to the untrained eye the pictures would look completely normal. He hoped this would make her happy. 

“Did I blink in any of them?” Ivy asked, leaning over her dad’s shoulder. “You can delete any I blinked in.”

“All of the pictures look great, Ivy, you didn’t blink in any of them.” He pulled the camera away from his body so she could see and reach it easier. “Pick your favorite to send in and I’ll save it to the family computer as well.” He didn’t feel to need to save the others.

Ivy clicked through the pictures. She scrunched up her nose at most of them, displeased that either her pose hid her hair bun or made it clear she was forcing her eyes open. She just wasn’t photogenic. But she was still able to find one that wasn’t too bad. “This one.”

“Thank you. That’s a good choice.” Mendel went to work deleting the other pictures.

“I’m going to go take my name off the list,” Ivy announced, making her way towards it. “Can I go ahead and take Rita’s name off the list too, since she’s already down here and the last to go?”

“Sure, go ahead.”

Ivy wiped the last two names off the list, momentarily pausing to finish cleaning off the extra bits of marker still on the whiteboard. As she left the room she nodded to Rita to indicate it was her turn, but instead of heading back upstairs, she simply took her sister’s place to wait for her to be finished.

Rita tried to walk into the room quietly, not wanting to disturb her dad while he set the camera back up. 

"You can go ahead and sit down, Rita,” Mendel called out, not looking up but already knowing that she was in the room. He could hear her buckled shoes against the ground.

She insisted on wearing those shoes in every picture. They were her nicest pair, and the fact that she could still wear them after multiple years was her only condolence for still not hitting a proper growth spurt. She was not looking forward to the camera being tilted down to get her centered properly. 

Mendel tried to alleviate that concern by having the camera already positioned in that manner by the time she had taken her seat. He was always trying to fight against her overwhelming self-consciousness. 

“That’s a lovely jacket you picked, Rita, it matches your skirt perfectly. I think if you move your braid in front of your body, your hair tie would too.” The shoes did as well, but the pictures were only taken from the waist-up, and he wasn’t going to encourage her to disregard the required pose if she didn’t initiate it first.

Rita didn't, not even bothering to move her braid as suggested. Instead she straightened out her back and put on a small, polite smile, no teeth showing. Just because she didn’t mind getting her picture taken didn’t mean she wouldn’t get to the point with it.

Mendel bit his lip to avoid frowning and resigned himself to taking fewer, quicker pictures, to match the limited excitement in the room. Perhaps it was a good thing that Rita wasn’t in the mindset to trying to develop her outward confidence, though - at least he wasn’t having to debate with himself about rules with this photoshoot.

“Choose your favorite picture, Rita,” he requested the moment he was done, offering her the camera before even glancing at the photos. He made sure to smile, so Rita knew he wasn’t upset with her.

She still furrowed her brow. “But you haven’t looked at them yet.”

“I took the pictures, I already know they all look good. You should choose the one to send in to school.”

“It would be easier if you pick it,” she countered, hesitantly accepting the camera. She didn’t want to pick one her dad wouldn’t like.

“But it’s your picture. It would make more sense if you’re the one to do so.” If he couldn’t develop her outward confidence, he could at least encourage her inner confidence by having her making her own decision. 

Rita browsed through the pictures. She was comforted by the fact that there were so few of them that she couldn’t really make a bad choice. It also helped that she couldn’t really spot any differences between them, and all looked nice enough. She did think that she had a nice smile in them, though.

“The final picture,” she eventually decided, handing back the camera. She paused for a second, then added on, “I like my smile in that one.” She hoped that would satisfy whatever answer he dad was hoping for.

Mendel grinned. “Excellent choice, thank you Rita. Do you want me to keep the other pictures as well?”

“If you want to that’s fine.” 

“I will then, thank you.” Mendel slipped the camera into his pocket and began to disassemble the tripod. “I’ll clean up in here. You and your sibling get into more causal clothes, and we’ll all reconvene in the kitchen to discuss dinner. All right?”

“All right,” Rita agreed. She slipped off the stool and quietly left the room, knowing that Ivy had already wiped her name off the whiteboard. 

Mendel listened as Ivy and Rita’s footsteps disappeared upstairs. Once the room was entirely quiet, he continued cleaning up, now faster than before. He wanted time to upload the photos onto his computer and organize them without much noise - it was better for reflection that way. But he couldn’t just leave an unkempt living room behind to do so. That would set a bad example.

[rhysanoodle]

Into the Light

A/N: In which Elain has two mates, Lucien and Azriel, and has to deal with the results of feeling the bond with Az snap into place before dinner at the townhouse.

Tags: Elriel, smut, fluff

Rating: E

Word count: 1788

AO3

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6

Part 7: Azriel

It had been a few weeks since he’d properly began courting Elain. They’d gone on dates anytime Az could ensure that the Inner Circle would be too busy looking elsewhere. He’d even gotten in the habit of conveniently assigning Nuala and Cerridwen other tasks anytime he was planning on seeing Elain, just to be on the safe side.

Azriel was getting restless. Whenever he wasn’t on spying missions for Rhys, he was daydreaming about Elain. Was there any chance she was feeling the same? They’d done plenty of kissing, but it was always hurried, as if she was scared of getting caught. No, that wouldn’t do. He was ready to take the next step in their relationship and intended to create an atmosphere where at least if she turned him down, he could be sure it wasn’t just circumstantial.

The House of Wind was the perfect place.

Nobody stayed there anymore except Az, when he wasn’t off on a spying mission. Rhys and Feyre hardly bothered to show up unless they were holding Court. If he timed it right, they could have days to themselves — in addition to the hour or two he intended simply for her pleasure.

Now he just had to set a date. He sent her a shadow message, a right he usually reserved for his spies and Lord and Lady. In it he included a date, time, and inconspicuous place to meet so he could fly her up there — the gardens.

Two days later, he was pacing the House hallway, simply waiting until it wouldn’t be awkwardly early to call on Elain. Rhys has sent him to the human realms to collect information from Jurian, but Az had arrived back in the Night Court hours sooner than anticipated. Maybe it had something to do with trying to disappear before Lucien returned to the manor, but he wouldn’t admit that to anyone.

He’d already bathed, spent quite a while trying to pick his out a handsome set of leathers, and double-checked the place settings for dinner twice-over. It was time. Before he could stop himself, he slipped into the shadows, and stepped out into the townhouse garden.

He had to admit, the scenery was lovely. Even with the knowledge that Rhys and Feyre were building a new estate, with a brand new garden, Elain still managed to keep this one in excellent condition. She wasn’t outside yet.

He raised his hand to knock on the door, but it opened before he could muster the courage. “Couldn’t wait either?” Elain’s lilting voice teased.

She looked radiant, in a gown of pale blue, her loosely-curled hair falling around her shoulders. Azriel stood frozen, drinking her in. She rose on her toes to kiss him on the cheek, and he lost his composure. He scooped Elain into his arms, and shot into the sky, kissing her freckles as they flew. With his cobalt shield around them, blocking out the harsh winter chill, it was a rather pleasant night for flying. He may have taken a rather slower route to the House just to watch the wonder on her face as she gazed down upon the lights of Velaris a little longer. That and he relished any chance she gave him to be this close to her. To feel their bodies flush against each other.

He snapped out of his daydream to find her staring at him. “Something on your mind?”

“You,” he breathed. “Always you.” Swallowing his nerves, hands shaking slightly, he quickly added, “I love having you pressed up against me like this.” Az placed a hesitant kiss on her temple before continuing. “I dream of having you pressed up against me in other ways.” Letting out a sigh, he scanned her face, desperate to find a hint of acceptance in her warm, chocolaty eyes.

This was the boldest thought he’d ever said aloud to her. He’d been psyching himself up all this week spent away from her. They were almost at the House now. He contemplated circling for a minute — the silence between them at the moment was excruciating.

“Like this?” Elain turned to fully face him, one hand sliding out from around his neck, leaving a trail of goose flesh in its wake, and achingly slowly made its way down his front until — shit. He dove for the balcony, as he sensed her true intentions, not trusting himself to keep them aloft much longer if Elain went just a fraction of an inch lower and discovered his length already at attention, desperate for the contact.

They landed with a jolt, and he immediately spirited them along the shadows to his bedroom, barely making it before collapsing into a breathless heap on the bed. Utterly unhinged — she completely made him lose any semblance of control.

Hastily, he flipped her underneath him, so he hovered above her, wings flaring slightly. “Not yet, my dove.” He summoned shadows, pinning her arms above her head. “If you touch me like that, this will be over before it really begins, and I believe we ought to have some fun first. Don’t you agree?”

She pouted, but he noticed the sparkle dancing in her eyes as she stared him down. Oh, she was the perfect partner for this particular game. “Close your eyes,” he commanded. Once he was sure she wasn’t peeking, he latched on to tendrils of shadow, instructing each to tease different parts of her, as his lips grazed her neck. “I’ve spent a very long time imagining the first time we were ready for this, and I’m not letting any of it go to waste.” He lifted her torso so he could tear at the ties of her bodice, all the while keeping her arms restrained, forcing her to let him do the work. Delicately, he slipped the gown over her shoulders, down until it pooled beneath them. He casually sliced through her lacy underthings, causing them to fall away after the gown. Az took a moment to drink her in, eyes roving hungrily over her immaculate form. Gods. She was gorgeous from head to toe, this woman he was blessed to have as his mate. He quickly devoid himself of his leathers as well. Returning his attention to her neck, he sent shadows to lightly caress her nipples, to gently graze her thighs.

Elain let out a deep, guttural moan. The sound was his unleashing. He softly cupped a breast in his hand, flicking the nipple with his tongue, relishing in the breathy noises it elicited from Elain.

Ever so tenderly, he kissed a trail down her stomach. As he approached his destination, he paused his progress, lazily taunting her with his tongue flicking on her thighs.

“Azriel.”

“Yes, dove?”

“Don’t stop.”

“What’s the magic word?”

“Please. Please, Az. Please.”

He growled in approval before taking her fully in his mouth. The taste of her undid any semblance of self control he had remaining. His tongue flirted and danced, not giving her a moment of respite as he teased her clit mercilessly. Through their heightened bond, he could feel when she was getting close, but Azriel would have none of that. At least not before he’d gotten to play more.

He reinvigorated the shadows caressing her, having them stroke her peaked nipples as he thrust two fingers inside her. Wet. She was drenched, and, gods, did she feel amazing. Leisurely, he plunged in and out, gradually speeding up until he took her back in his mouth, parting her lips and furiously coaxing her onward until her breathing hitched. Elain arched her back, fighting her restraints, desperately trying to claw at his hair as she went over the edge, moaning his name. Az slowed his tongue to a light caress. Panting, he grinned up at her, relishing in her release, intoxicated by her taste. He stalked over her, feverishly stealing kisses before her body could unwind.

Freed of her bonds, she slid her hands down his chiseled torso, hurriedly making a grab for him. She got right to the point. This was a first in their relationship — he was loving this new, uninhibited side of her. As he adjusted to give her greater access, he gently grabbed her hair in his hands, freeing hers so she could easily continue kissing her way south, and fuck. He jerked at the contact as she slid his head into her mouth. She felt divine. 

Elain cautiously began moving on him, occasionally swirling her tongue and licking along his length. His body was on fire. After a few minutes, she began sucking harder as she slid his shaft further into his mouth, attempting to take him to the hilt. At the feeling of his head against the back of her throat, it took an embarrassingly short time before his pleasure rippled through him as well. He released himself inside of her, body tensing, and she continued taking the length of him until he was drained.

As she surfaced, she giggled, “Wow. That was fun. I’ve never done that before,” her lips still wet with saliva.

Relief coursed through him. He’d never mustered the courage to ask her about her past history, it being a sensitive topic. He still wasn’t fully certain how much her feelings for Graysen had waned.

He cuddled up next to her. “I’m glad I was your first. I want to be all of your firsts, if you’ll let me.”

She snuggled into his chest. “I love you, Az.” It was so faint he almost thought he’d imagined it.

After all these years, he’d begun to doubt that anyone could ever truly love him. Perhaps that was the curse of having a centuries-old unrequited crush. Fighting back tears, he murmured, “I love you too, Elain. More than you’ll ever know.”

They spent an hour nuzzled against each other, whispering secrets about their childhoods, their lives before each other. When Elain couldn’t ignore her grumbling stomach any longer, he brought her a platter in bed which they devoured before continuing their canoodling.

He told her about his mother, the years he tried to forget in his father’s keep, how he met his brothers, and the life-altering events that led him to where he was now. She shared what it was like growing up in the human realm, losing their wealth, and then how strange it had been to earn it all back.

As the time passed by, and they found themselves in the wee hours of the morning, he cradled a yawning Elain to his chest, nuzzling into her hair. He wrapped his wings around the two of them, drifting off to sleep, and slept peacefully, the shadows kept at bay all through the night.

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Tags:  @acourtofabsandillyrians @heyyitsangie @urbisie @aedionashryver-wolfofthenorth @rosehallshadowsinger @kateonsocialmedia

[sleepymarmot]

COUNTER/Weight liveblog, part 3

Finale +post-mortem

Am I glad to return to the political big picture! It's such a relief that the finale is in this format! Hopefully it won't devolve into another “fighting a giant robot” scene.

Oh, so the Chime are leading the faction game now! Somehow I completely missed the point of the two previous scenes that indicated Aria becoming the new leader of the Righteous Vanguard – I was very surprised and then 10 minutes later went “Oh that's what it was, time to go back and relisten”

Pronoun update: Austin consistently uses “they”, Art consistently uses “he”. End my suffering…

The sheer comedic impact of seven Makos, Larry and Lazer Ted all in a room together has healed my soul immediately. Can we end on this image so nothing bad happens

I'm so proud of Orth!! “I'm sorry, which one are you?” lmao

Oooh the relationship drama~ But how come Jacqui didn't know Jill was alive? Actually, now that I think of it, back then it was clearly said that Jacqui knows Jillian is back and is sad because Jillian doesn't remember her. This show's retcons…

Look I know shit must hit the fan pretty soon but for now this finale is just. So relaxing. I'm having a lot of fun listening to these squabbles. (The only exception were Mako and Orth – boys, stop fighting, why!)

That Cass & Aria scene was cool but please don't give me world leader old friends sneaking away for secret stress relief sparring sessions when I'm not supposed to start shipping them

Oh hell yeah, I was hoping that since Jacqui went with Jillian, Aria would go with Ibex. (Not very relevant here, but Ibex is from Kesh like Maryland, right? If so, there must be fanart of young Ibex and Maryland in 19th century outfits?)

Stop cryptically saying oh Sokrates isn't here, oh they aren't using their candidate name, like what's up with them?! Are they doing well? I'm worried!

Oh Orth wants to dance with Ibex huh *eyes emoji* Rematch! Rematch!

“I'll take anything” “Anything?” My mind, of course, autocompletes “Then perish”

THIS WAS A LOT and I need to take a couple of minutes to start breathing normally again. Also there just has to be a lovingly drawn fanart adaptation of this entire scene (in, like, fukcing Leyendecker style), come on fandom please say someone has done it

Jacq/Jill continuing with the heartbreaking scenes, I see

Mako doesn't like dancing now…… holy shit this is the most upsetting ball ever… (The cynical part of me must say that it's only Austin who talks about this connection, Keith doesn't and still sounds way less emotional about the whole thing than the others assume Mako to be)

I amend my previous statement, I also need fanart with snapshots of every dance: Orth firmly taking Ibex's hand and receiving a surprised but approving look, Jillian throwing her head back in laughter and Jacqui watching with a pained smile, sullen Mako leaning on a wall cross-armed and looking for an opportunity to slip away, Cass dropping his one-liner with a completely dispassionate face.

Wow Ibex is really getting ready for death. Sounds as if he knows the exact date.

HOLY SHIT THE DIVINES' ORIGIN STORY!!! FINALLY!!! I'm surprised they were all created by the same person…

I'm relieved Mako and Orth are on good terms again!

I love the new Aria as this competent politician who does a lot of swordfighting and dealing with old flames

Have I mentioned I really love the game they're playing? It almost synthesizes the best parts of the game they played previously – as if it was written just for this finale. It's so great how this show and specifically this campaign go through so many games, showing the universe and the characters from different angles, instead of having them be defined by only one game system and its limitations and quirks.

That's some real good mech if it can function for 80,000 years, Divines' body or not!

Okay, I fucking knew Liberty and Discovery would split up at some point (which is what I meant above by my expectations for AuDy's fate), but why is Liberty attacking Ibex?

Mako's robots!!! :DDD Now that's the real finale shit!

I CAN'T BELIEVE Keith missed Tower's brief appearance of all things. It's like a fucking scene from the show on the level of dramatic irony. They were truly not meant to be, even the universe in real life is saying that. Do you ever get rejected so badly that the guy you like runs away from you at the prom, and then lets you fall into a deadly portal with the rest of your planet, and then you get brainwashed, and then you are killed by an ally of that guy, and the person playing him doesn't even witness that?!

I thought Orth was going to challenge Kobus about Liberty…

“I have Liberty contained” *winces*

Every time it is asked what is Mako wearing I just mentally pull out the popcorn

“I welcome anyone to tell Cass that AuDy is a non-person”

Let me restate how much I'm loving how the scenes that in any other show would be minor fluff or short summaries in an epilogue are a legit fully rendered part of the finale

Sokrates & Orth reunion please!!

Aw Ted! It never occured to me that this comic relief character has, in fact, lost his entire planet and almost everyone he knows.

…I think I like Apokine Cass more than Chime Cass

That's a big lore dump holy cow! I'm glad Apostolosians are ex-humans after all, but I wonder how they turned into fish people

So what happened to the idea of Mako hacking Grace?

They just… went and straight up murdered two Divines… If it had happened early in the show I'd probably cheer, and no tears were shed for Grace, but Liberty… Just take a third of another player character and drive it into a sun…

Of course. I knew Sokrates is the kind of character who dies nobly in a grand finale.

I've spent all this time wondering how the piece of Voice in Mako doesn't get infected by Rigor, and it seems to finally happen and Larry seems to die repairing it, but what about all other Makos, aren't they in danger too?

This is way too easy so far, just sacrifice NPCs one by one to win.

This whole time I was assuming Mako saved as many clones as he could, not just his own… If he gets another turn I bet it's submit or die :/

Hello I'm crying over Lazer Ted! Choices in the campaign sound futile now: who cares which guy Mako saved – they both died anyway! All named NPCs did!

Except for Jacqui. Congratulations, the NPC Who Lived! (I mistyped “loved” at first, which is also relevant. And yes, I cried here too.)

How the hell would falling into a sun kill Rigor if it was previously not killed by a bomb that destroys hundreds of suns?

Poor Cass… Not only sacrificing yourself in such a difficult way, but to have a final conversation only just to learn that your friend, a passionate revolutionary further empowered by Righteousness, has deserted… The sheer contempt and disappointment he pours in just three words “Ibex told you”...

Welp. Mako's fate was not tragic like I feared! Good news I guess, but it's still kind of sad. And I think the saddest part is that Mako himself doesn't realize. Because it can just sound like the natural continuation of his character growth – after he had to learn to be the responsible one first in contrast to Larry and then to the other Makos. But it's not that, or not just that, and it's kind of chilling to hear that he never knows it, and never knows peace.

Executive Joie, oh my… It's so strange and cool how Aria somehow continues the legacy of Jace and Ibex at once.

The race is over. It's so strange that now there are no consequences to fear or spoilers to avoid.

I didn't like the final battle as much as the rest of the finale – I hoped for a more clever solution than just throwing bodies at the enemy (but I guess the intro warned me lol…). Especially since these bodies had very unequal impact – I'm not going to care about Diego Rose or Chet Wise or Orth's newly-created lieutenants or as much as I care about Jacqui -- so it felt unfair towards players/characters who had more important or likeable chracters in their faction. I'm opposed on principle to making the big confrontation feel important and emotional just by killing off characters (hi, J. K. Rowling and Russo brothers), I think it's cheap and emotionally manipulative, but in this case the emotional manipulation doesn't even work so it’s doubly disappointing.

If someone's reading this, you can see that what I expected or wanted from the story was not what it gave me, and that was frustrating or disappointing at times. But nevertheless, it was a wild ride.

I've slept on it and it still fucks me up that out of the Chime only Aria gets a genuinely happy ending! Cass is fucking dead, Liberty is dead while AuDy becomes a ghost, and Mako loses everyone and is lonely for the rest of his life!

It's so strange to listen to the opening theme in the post-mortem and think that this is the second-to-last time. (Relistens don't count, it's not the same thing.) By the way, I love that theme – it sounds like a half song with the words on the tip of my tongue, like space, or like city at night. Really atmospheric.

I love how everyone continues to be into that moment where Aria has the opportunity to kill Cass lol (I am too)

Yeah, thanks for reminding me about that coin toss moment for Kobus in the finale, that was so sudden and shocking I was completely losing it for the long few seconds it lasted

I'm glad someone asked whether Jack knew the Big Spoiler in advance – he was so calm about it in the following episodes that I started wondering

Oh so it wasn't my imagination that the players needed the comic relief of the Lazer Ted episode no less than the characters

After a sad talk about Mako's dead friends, Andi, cheerfully: “I love to kill and I love to hurt and I never regretted anything I ever did! :D” which won the least surprising comment of the hour award lol. Honestly, after that one scene with Diego I started to get a bit nervous whenever Andi announced they had an idea… C/w was fun because I now realize the cinnamon roll Aubrey was actually them playing against type.

I love that someone asked about Mako's first kiss and/or Orth's fandom life!!

Keith's answer is sad, though… He “had literally never considered Mako even being capable of kissing someone, like it wasn't something on the table” and that was unexpected to me. I'd mentioned several times that he sounded reluctant to play up the romance, but I was assuming it was the player's preference, not an innate trait of the character whose attraction to someone was a part of his character creation. How do I interpret it? Mako is aro? Mako never had a chance to properly grow emotionally because his youth was fake and for the rest of his life, all emotional connections were sabotaged by Rigour's shadow, and also literally all his potential love interests died? Ugh, I just keep making myself more and more upset.

Holy shit I forgot about Art asking if there's an old Apostolosian mech on September by any chance lmao

Cene always knew?! Holy shit w h a t

It's nice to hear Ali talk about her growth in confidence as a player because she's definitely kind of an inspiration – for years I've thought tabletop roleplaying is too intense and I'll never do it, but when I finally tried out it was not so scary, so maybe there's hope for me too!

The concept that the real challenge of the final battle was that the easier it would be to defeat Rigor, the worse shape would the world be afterwards sounds much better than what that battle actually felt like to me. Instead of paying for victory with the health of society and their faction's political power, in the actual gameplay they paid with NPCs from their circle and that was it; the political consequences came later and sounded entirely unrelated. Maybe if they had to go against their faction's goals or sacrifice its assets – e.g. “use Minerva's Rigor-tech mechs in exchange for the promise to leave them alone afterwards” instead of “sacrifice all Mako clones”… Aria had something similar with Weight, but it was the price of Jacqui's life, not the price of a victorious battle against Rigour.

It's very cool to learn where the sound effects in the theme come from! And god, every line as its own take? My head hurts just imagining that…

Austin getting distracted by the idea of fucking Rigor was hilarious, but I never, ever want to hear the word “daddy” in this context! What's with these jokes this season, ew, please stop.

Excuse me, Ali wanted to kiss Ibex as who exactly, Jace or Aria? Both options are equally crazy!

See, “You wanna say ‘Oh he was just doing what was necessary, he was just doing the thing that's good in the end’, and yeah that's him working on you” is exactly why he reminds me of Dukat! Literally the same mind game on the viewers/listeners!

Why is the link broken, I want to see AuDy in Titanfall!

Listening to team “Fuck Ibex!” and team “Fuck Ibex ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)” yell at each other is very entertaining

“Nobody on the Kingdom Come is cishet” is a nice sentiment but I'm kind of confused by which definition of cis Cass is not. Have I missed something about them changing pronouns in-universe? Just because English doesn't have exact analogies for the Apostolosian pronouns doesn't mean everyone who uses them isn't following their own society's conventions. And now Austin also's saying “We never wanted to say these pronouns are equivalent to gender” which is, a, not true, and b, sends the whole problem back to square one – because if that's not the Apostolosian gender then what is? This! Is! A! Mess!

[jordan202]

My Boys: Beyond the Horizon - Chapter 11

thanks @jia911 for your much appreciated help! 

Previous chapters are HERE on the master post 

So, this chapter is focused entirely around 2 characters. It was originally a part of chapter 10, but it would make the chapter too long and exhausting, so I decided to make this a chapter of its own. I think this conversation was long overdue and maybe some answers will come out of it :) Enjoy it, guys! thanks for the support!

My Boys: Beyond the Horizon - Chapter 11

Emily took a deep breath before finally knocking on the large wooden door.

The journalist had promised Lucas that at least once, she would meet him to discuss the documents she’d prepared the previous week. The day to keep her word had come. He’d had a few days to look through everything and even though Emily knew he had a busy schedule with practices and sponsor meetings, she knew she’d given him enough time to be at least familiarized with everything.

“Hi,” Lucas opened the door making way for her to come inside. It was a little past seven on a weeknight and he was pretty exhausted from training all day, but her presence made him feel instantly energized. “I am glad you could make it.”

“Yeah, I wasn’t sure I’d finish work on time,” Emily replied with a shy smile, quietly following him to the living room. Now that she had been working in the sports newsroom for a while, her editor was giving her increasingly harder and more extensive assignments. Emily could only suppose that meant he was satisfied with her work.

“I am to take that things at the office are progressing well, then?” Lucas grinned, trying to keep a light atmosphere.

“There this is annoying local jock who is making his debut game on Saturday so my people have been busy with the coverage,” Emily pestered him, hearing a delighted laugh in return. “Other than that, it’s going well,” she added to finally answer his question.

“I am glad things are working out for you here in Seattle,” Lucas affirmed with honesty.

“I am too,” Emily shrugged discreetly. She had finally gotten a hold of her sister the day before and now, more than ever, it seemed like they could finally sell the house. That would finalize things for Emily in her hometown, at last allowing the journalist to fly back to New York and hopefully resume her job there. “It’s just a temporary position, though, so I am not keeping my hopes up.”

“Right,” Lucas agreed with a head nod. He already knew that Emily didn’t plan to stick around for long and yet, every time he heard her say it, it hurt to think he was probably never going to see her again.

That was especially hard to convey when she stood in the middle of his apartment looking more fragile and vulnerable than he’d ever seen her. Lucas knew Emily was strong and driven. He’d witnessed first hand just how determined and hardworking she could be. But now, even though she obviously had her act together, Lucas could distinguish on her façade just how emotionally exhausted she should be after the intense events that had taken place in her life.

“So, I read your files,” Lucas started, pointing to the glass table where he’d stacked all the documents she’d brought days before. “To be honest, I mostly listened,” he corrected himself with a smile, pointing to a silver computer right in the middle of the paperwork. The fact Emily had cared enough to make an audio file just so he could have a better chance of understanding the proposals had really touched him. “But before we get to business, I was thinking maybe we could get something to eat?” he raised an eyebrow, not sure she’d accept his idea. “How about a pizza?”

Emily seemed to think about it for a moment before finally deciding.

“Okay,” she smiled, seeing how he’d approved of her choice.

“You can choose the topping,” Lucas teased her, already with the phone in hand. “Otherwise you’re just going to complain about whichever one I pick.”

“No, I won’t,” Emily scowled in protest.

“Can I choose whatever I want then?” Lucas raised an eyebrow as if testing her.

Emily looked from his eyes to the phone in his hands as she pondered, finally turning her face up again.

“Give that to me,” the journalist grabbed the phone from his hand, looking over the many options. Not giving him the satisfaction to acknowledge he was right, Emily settled for a choice she knew they’d both like and immediately after suggested they got to business already.

For the following minutes, Emily patiently went over each business proposal she had suggested for him. The girl was especially clear on the fact that Lucas didn’t have to decide anything at that very moment, since those were decisions that would affect him on the long run and therefore had to be carefully thought. Over the last five years, she had followed up Lucas’ career from a distance, every now and then hearing on the TV how successful he had become. But even though she knew beforehand he was an accomplished athlete, never had she imagined that he would have so many resources at his disposal at such a young age.

After weeks covering sports, Emily had learned that majority of star athletes’ incomes came from sponsors and with Lucas it was no different. After analyzing his professional contracts and studying his bank accounts, she’d learned that a big chunk of his earnings came from a leading sports manufacturer and a worldwide famous apparel company that had Lucas stamping quite a few of their campaigns.

Emily knew she hadn’t really talked about the revelation she’d made last time they were together and honestly, the girl had no idea if that was a good or bad thing. She supposed it was probably for the best. They had no business having an opinion on each other’s personal lives anymore and even if that sounded a bit harsh, it was just easier that way.

During the time she was sitting next to him carefully going through every detail of what he needed to know before investing his money, Lucas tried to ignore how adorably cute Emily looked with her elegant reading glasses. Her hair was tied up on a loose bun and since the journalist had gone there straight from work, she was still wearing her office clothes.

Lucas wondered how she was able to still look so sophisticated and charming after a full day. He couldn’t help leaning in a bit closer when she started to explain the differences between short and long term outcomes for buying stock market actions, unconsciously attracted by the familiar scent of her hair.

Had her neck always been this slim and feminine? Lucas was so distracted by his own thoughts that he didn’t hear a word of what she was saying. The way her auburn locks were held high on her head exposed the back of her neck entirely to him and Lucas wondered if her skin was still just as soft and delicate as…

“Are you listening to me?” Emily interrupted his thoughts just as they were about to get dangerously inviting. She saw the answer on his face and explained, “I asked if you’re tired. It’s okay to take a break if this is too much at once,” she added after seeing the look of confusion on his face.

“Yeah, yeah,” Lucas agreed instantly, suddenly being brought to reality by her unexpected interruption. He straightened his back to stretch his muscles, feeling them familiarly sore after a full day of practice.

“Are you fed up with all this talk yet?” Emily asked with a sympathetic nod. She could go on for hours on the subject, but she knew Lucas felt differently about it. Over the years, Emily had come to learn that very few people found discussing financial plans as fascinating as she did.

“Oh, no, I love the stock market,” Lucas playfully replied, knowing it was obvious he was lying.

“I am sure you do,” Emily replied, contaminated by his good mood. She was glad that some of the previous awkwardness of their encounter had dissipated and now they could act spontaneously around each other again. For a moment, it felt like she was back in time.

“Nothing is a bigger turn on than hearing the words Nasdaq and NYSE in the same sentence,” Lucas teased while keeping a straight face, which only prompted her to laugh.

Emily was about to reply when the doorbell rang. Lucas went to get the pizza, instructing her where to go around in the kitchen to get them glasses and plates.

“Do you like red wine?” the boy chose a bottle from the small cellar he had by one corner of the fireplace.

“I don’t really drink,” Emily said with sincerity. Her father had been a heavy drinker and his condition had pretty much ruined her family, invariably giving the girl a certain aversion for anything alcoholic.

“Do you want to try a sip of this, though?” Lucas raised the bottle and brought it to the kitchen, placing the pizza and the wine on the isle between them. “This one was a gift from my godmother,” he smiled fondly as he thought about Addison. “She’s always had great taste for drinks.”

“Okay, but just one sip,” Emily agreed with a shy smile watching as he skillfully maneuvered a corkscrew. “How is she, by the way?” the journalist asked, accepting the sample Lucas was now offering in a glass. She’d met Lucas’ godmother briefly only once, but Emily had already heard a great deal about her. Lucas had always had a special connection with her and from what little Emily had gathered, the feeling was mutual.

“I tried to get her here for Saturday but sadly for me, she is just too successful in her business and can’t make it,” Lucas explained with a sigh of conformation. If it were up to him, he would have everyone there on Saturday. There was nothing more enjoyable to him than having his entire family together. The more, the merrier.

“Are Danny and Robbie coming?” Emily asked before she carefully took a bite of her slice, watching as Lucas did the same. She knew his younger brothers were far away at a Military Academy but their presence would probably mean the world to him.

“Yeah, they’re coming,” Lucas replied with a big smile, touched that she had asked.

“So…” Emily bit her lower lip after taking a quick look around. “I know I said this before but you really have a nice place. It’s very…” she pondered a bit, looking for the best word to describe it. “I don’t know, it just has a homey kind of feeling to it.”

“I know what you mean,” Lucas replied with a smile. “It’s what I intended when I set up the place, I guess… To be honest, I am just happy I haven’t burned it to the ground yet,” he added, making her laugh.

“I was just about to say that you living on your own is by itself a big accomplishment,” Emily mocked him.

“I had to learn the hard way that dish soap and dish water detergent are two completely separate things, but I am managing,” Lucas made fun of himself and his awful housework skills. “One giant wave of suds flooding the kitchen was enough to make me learn.”

“I guess one is one too many,” Emily laughed, having fun just imagining the scene.

Lucas couldn’t think of a response to say because he was too busy admiring the soft lines on her face as she clearly had a good time. He tried not to think about how easily the conversation seemed to flow when they were together and just how happy he always felt whenever he made her smile. But none of that mattered now because Emily’s smiles didn’t belong to him anymore. Instead, they were promised to some other guy, the one who would probably be rewarded with the delicious sound of her laughter every night for the rest of their lives.

Emily noticed how the expression on his face subtly changed from friendly and warm to sullen and somewhat distant. Before she could think about it, he opened his mouth to talk.

“Does he make you laugh like that?”

Lucas’ low, broken voice silenced the remainder of her chuckles, causing the girl to immediately straighten herself on the stool she sat on. This time, Emily could tell Lucas wasn’t telling a joke or making a playful remark. She knew exactly whom he was talking about. The existence of her fiancé, although not discussed, was obviously the source of the tension lingering between them throughout the evening.

Emily thought about ways to dodge the question. But this was one of the rare occasions when her brilliant thinking mind fail her, completely obliterated by her feelings.

“He doesn’t make me cry.”

Lucas understood the meaning of the message in between the lines. The raw honesty of her confession broke his heart because he knew he’d been the one to cause those tears once, therefore earning the comparison. And to his own dismay, the boy wondered if he’d been the one to ultimately make Emily believe that the content of her answer alone was good enough.

“Point taken…” Lucas returned his glass to the kitchen isle, suddenly not inclined to drink anymore. He watched as Emily sat in silence, looking just as confused as he was but now that the long ago buried subject had been touched, Lucas thought it was best to quit pretending it didn’t exist. “You know…” he hesitated before finally looking into her eyes, watching as Emily sustained his gaze, “When I was seventeen, I really thought I was going to marry you someday.”

Lucas noticed the confusion on her face and wondered if her speechless reaction was due to discomfort to be talking about their past, or if his revelation had indeed touched her like it seemed.

“We were just kids back then, Luke…” Emily took a deep breath, making a big effort to keep her emotions in check. “There is no point beating ourselves up about what happened. It’s in the past,” Emily added, trying to convince herself just as much.

Lucas heard her words and registered them but he knew by the shaken up expression on her face that she was more affected than she wanted to show.

There were so many things he wanted to ask her… So many things he needed to apologize for. And she was leaving town soon. He might never get the chance to do it again… so even though his mind was telling him to simply let go and leave the past in the past, his heart desperately needed some answers to maybe finally start to heal.

“Why did you leave that day?”

Emily was taken aback by the straightforward question and everything it entailed. Her reaction became instantly clear on her face. The journalist was having a hard time dealing with the fact that he’d actually gone there, that Lucas indeed had dared to touch the subject they had spent the past years so determined to ignore.

“Why didn’t you come after me?” she dodged the question back to him, unable to deal with the heartbreak and the pain she’d felt as a nineteen year old girl who’d had her heart unexpectedly shattered by the love of her life.

“What are you talking about?” Lucas frowned heavily, reminiscing about the events of that day. “You had made it very clear that you didn’t want me to.”

“Really?” Emily spoke in a louder tone and Lucas could tell his answer had bothered her. “You really thought it was better to just leave things like that?”

Her implied accusation made Lucas snap. And in a matter of seconds, he got angrier than he ever would have imagined.

“What?” he asked with outrage. “If I remember it correctly, you were the one who broke things up with me, Spencer. You were the one who thought it was best to quit before even trying, you decided that and-”

“You agreed to it!” Emily interrupted him, belatedly realizing she had shouted the words. Taking a deep breath in a failed attempt to calm down, the girl added, wondering if this discussion really was worth it. “I broke up with you because we had to and you know that.”

“No, I don’t know that,” Lucas turned his back on her and walked around the kitchen, regretting they had started that conversation to begin with.

Emily stayed silent for the next seconds, watching as he seemed unable to relax as well. While Lucas paced nervously, she held onto the marble counter and took a deep breath, incapable of going back to ignoring the many issues they had just begun exploring.

“How can you not know that? How can you even…?” Emily’s voice trailed off. She remembered very well the day they’d found out Lucas had been accepted to the University of Washington. He had been granted a soccer scholarship at the same time she’d gotten accepted at Yale, on the exact opposite end of the country. On that same day, the girl had wisely pointed out that they shouldn’t go to their respective universities with the pressure of maintaining their yet fragile relationship. She wasn’t sure their young love would survive the long distance added to the many new experiences university life had to offer. Back then, Lucas had been reluctant to acknowledge it, but after carefully discussing it with him, Emily felt like she’d finally made him see what she did.

“You broke up with me, okay?” Lucas raised his voice in an accusing manner. “You broke up with me so you have no right to be mad at me for not knowing you wanted me to go after you…!” he turned around again and took large strides in her direction, casting a shadow on her face as he stood inches away from her. “Hell, you don’t get to be mad at me for finding out I was seeing other people, you don’t-”

“You were with two girls!” Emily exploded, interrupting him. “I called you and tried to reach you and just as I arrived expecting to see you, hoping you would be glad to see me, I found you weren’t really missing me that much, were you?” she asked in a lower tone, feeling heavy tears pooling around her eyes. “Don’t I get to be mad about that?”

Emily only realized she had confessed her feelings when her own thoughts were numbed by low sobs.

Lucas heard the distress in her voice but what really messed with him was the unmistakable pain contained in each of her words. He hated to be the one causing them, but at the same time, she couldn’t really have been that much affected by the scene she’d witnessed considering it was Emily who had decided they’d better go separate ways.

“You weren’t there…” he reminded her, hating that he was getting emotional too. “You weren’t there when I got home and told my parents that I left school,” he recalled the events of the day he had desperately tried to obliterate from his life. “You weren’t there through the worst of it… So don’t judge me. You can’t,” he breathed in and out, obviously uncomfortable with the subject. “You of all people can’t.”

Five years before, during his third semester in university, Lucas had been approached by an executive offering him a deal to play for the Los Angeles Galaxy. At the time, the boy had been on the verge of failing two of his classes for the second time. Even though he had made an amazing debut season playing for the university team, Lucas hadn’t had the same success inside the classroom. The hours were long, the topics were exponentially more complex than the content he’d seen in school and it just felt like, no matter how much time he devoted to it, the academic life was simply something he wasn’t cut out to do.

Lucas had never wanted to go to University to get a degree. He’d always wanted to play soccer. The sport was something he loved, something that he was actually good at. Going to University had been the compromise he’d found to please his parents, who he knew worried that he had a degree to guarantee a future career in case playing soccer didn’t work out, all the while keeping up with the sport to hopefully play for a professional team some day.

When an opportunity had presented itself, Lucas hadn’t thought much about it before taking it. He knew that if he’d taken the matter home to discuss with his parents first, he might have been dissuaded to quit school, which was something he needed to do in order to move to Los Angeles. For that reason, he’d only gone back home to talk to his parents after his deal was already signed.

Lucas could still remember the look of shock on his mother’s face as he sat down to tell her and his dad. Amelia hadn’t been able to hide her concern or deny just how betrayed she’d felt to see that her son had taken a huge decision without even discussing with his parents first. Now, at twenty-four, Lucas understood that she had been worried about him securing a future before jumping with both feet in a career that made no guarantees. But at the time, as an impulsive teenage boy, Lucas had judged her unsupportive of his decision, which only broke his heart.

He’d always known that he wouldn’t be as academically successful as his siblings probably would. That alone was already hard enough, but Lucas also knew just how well educated and brilliant both his parents were. And even though he’d grown up being told and showed that he was loved exactly for who he was, it had never been enough to make Lucas feel like he really fit in like his siblings did. He loved his family with all his heart and they were everything to him, but none of them could ever really see things through his eyes. And on that day, years of built up feelings of insecurity had culminated with a big fight with his parents.

Once back to his university dorm, Lucas had acted out the way he knew how – by partying and hooking up with random girls. Unbeknownst to him, his mother had called Emily on the phone just hours after he’d left the house, hoping she would be able to reach out to him and hopefully make him rethink his decision to drop out of college and perhaps even sit down to talk to his parents about it before making such a life altering call on his own.

But much to Emily’s own dismay, nothing had turned out the way she’d planned. On the day before Lucas had fought with his parents, she’d arrived after a long journey of connection flights hoping to surprise him and gently approach the subject she knew he was always very defensive about. Over the past year and a half, they had kept the decision to not be together, but that hadn’t prevent both teenagers from talking to each other at least once a week and sharing everything that was going on in their respective lives.

Expecting to be welcomed by his warm smile and tight hug, Emily had opened the door to his room in college with a big smile on her face, only to lose it after finding him there with other girls instead.

Her reaction had been nothing but purely emotional. Even though Emily had rationally known they had made the right decision by putting their relationship on hold during the time they couldn’t be together, she hadn’t really been prepared to witness what she did that day. Her naïve dreams added to the many hours she and Lucas spent on the phone on a weekly basis catching up about each other’s lives had somehow led her to neglect considering that he was in fact free to be with other girls and enjoy their company should he wish it.

And based on what she’d witnessed that day, it didn’t look like he’d wasted too much time suffering that they were apart.

Emily had been so devastated by the discovery and the horrible way in which she’d made it that her only reaction had been to get out of his college house as fast as possible. Minutes later, Lucas had caught up with her still inside the campus. And after a horrible fight in which they said nothing but horrible things to each other, the girl had finally embarked on a plane to never again see Lucas.

Until that one day a few weeks before in which they’d met at a conference room.

It had been excruciatingly hard and painful, but Emily had moved on with her life. After that fateful day, the girl had gone back to Yale and slowly made a career for herself at the same time she rebuilt familiar walls around her heart. In the meantime, Lucas had gone to Los Angeles to live with his godmother. On his first years, he’d struggled and thought about quitting but the boy had ultimately made his way to finally become a young star on a first division professional soccer team.

And yet, five years later, there they were, finding themselves in the same place where everything had begun.

“Why are we even talking about this?” Emily asked, slowly nodding her head in denial. Her shoulders looked tinier than they were already were as she wrapped her arms around herself, desperate to get rid of that pain those memories were bringing. After many disagreements, she and Lucas had finally found a way to be civil around each other and she desperately didn’t want that to change.

All of her family was gone now and for whatever it was worth, Lucas Hunt probably was the best chain to her past she had as of today. The journalist didn’t want them to keep fighting and hating each other for the rest of their lives.

Lucas remained still, looking into her eyes with the same intensity he had been for the past minutes. When Emily thought he was finally going to drop the subject, he surprised her by saying:

“Because we really hurt each other and we never had the chance to actually explain why we did what we did,” he gently tilted his head to the side, carefully examining her. It was obvious Emily was devastated. At the time, he’d been so blindly angry with her that he’d even considered she didn’t care about him enough to actually sympathize with his feelings. Yet now, years later, he wondered if the shadow he saw in her eyes really was made of guilt and disappointment like it seemed. “I never really got why you left that day,” he exposed, nodding his head as if silently asking her.

“You broke my heart, Luke,” Emily finally admitted. He was exposing himself to her and the least she could do was to reciprocate his honesty.

“You didn’t want to be with me,” Lucas desperately clung to the notion. At the time, he had felt more left out than he ever had. Feeling like his parents were against his decision had been bad enough, but to find out that Emily had flown there to also try to change his mind had tasted like ultimate betrayal, because she had always been the one who had never failed to understand and fully support him. “I wasn’t really thinking when I did what I did.”

“I have always wanted to be with you,” her voice sounded like a broken whisper, urging Lucas to come nearer. He noticed how his presence engulfing her frame frightened her, making the girl step back. “Why can’t you just understand that if we had stayed together that would have been the end for us and…?”

“Damn it, Emily, staying apart was the end for us!” Lucas abruptly interrupted her, wrapping his fingers around her arms to keep her near. When she broke down crying, he thought he wouldn’t be able to take it anymore. “I really thought you couldn’t be that surprised that I was with other girls… I mean… I tried to find you in every person that crossed my way and no matter how much I tried, I could never seem to… I just…” his voice trailed off. It felt too cliché to say that his reaction had been impulsive and immature. “I wasn’t really thinking… I was just looking for the easy out to distract myself from the idea that we weren’t together anymore,” he struggled to make the confession because it pretty much exposed himself entirely. “I was never a careful planner like you... You know that.”

Emily struggled with her own emotions, finally losing the battle to her heart.

“I never meant for you to feel like I didn’t support your decision,” she explained, not entirely aware of how much that meant to him. “Why would you think that… Why do you think I flew across the country for?”

Lucas couldn’t really answer her question. Truth was, he had been so hurt and feeling so rejected at the time that he hadn’t really thought about finding logic in the situation. Instead, he had acted out because it had felt like his entire support system had failed him that day.

“I thought you were just going to echo my parents’ words to me…” he confessed emotionally. “When you said that my mom had called you, I just… I lost it, you know? Because I thought she’d played too low by plotting with you to try to convince me to stay in school.”

“Luke… Your mom would never do that,” Emily frowned, finally realizing just how lost and hurt he might have felt at the time. “I would never do that,” she reminded him. “She was worried about you and your dad was too… When they told me, I couldn’t believe it either,” Emily explained, feeling like they were taking heavy burdens out of their chests. “It wasn’t like you to make such a huge decision without discussing things with your parents first, you never once did that… Why were you so surprised that they were that worried?”

“I wasn’t surprised, I just saw what I wanted to see, I guess…” he confessed, swallowing hard.

At the time, Lucas had feared so much that everyone would be against his decision that he’d invariably created a defense mechanism to keep everyone out just so his dream wouldn’t be threatened. Back then, he’d desperately wanted to make his mom and dad proud. Failing at school wasn’t exactly the way to do that. He knew that signing with a team before getting a degree wasn’t what he and his parents had planned for his future, not to mention it was a big risk but one he had been willing to take. And the decision had been too hard to make, especially after feeling like everyone was against him.

“Did you seriously think I was going to leave your side?” she tilted her head and her eyes had so many unshed tears that Lucas couldn’t help keeping her in his arms. The evident answer on his face made Emily realize that he hadn’t really acted carelessly because he didn’t care but rather because he wanted too much to follow up with something and feared that no one would have his back. Lucas had feared it so much that he’d unconsciously caused it. “Jesus, Luke… I might have not agreed with your decision at the time, but I would never turn my back on you… ever…” she looked at him too upset that he’d dared to think otherwise. “And I would support you, even if I didn’t think you were making the right call.”

Now that Lucas thought about it, what Emily was saying was exactly what his parents had done. Owen and Amelia had made it clear they didn’t think Lucas was making the right decision, but even though they’d proposed talking about it, not once had they emotionally blackmailed him, cut him out of their lives because he wasn’t doing what they wished or made their son feel guilty about his decision, even when things had been pretty rough at the beginning. Lucas remembered very well how his mom had called every day right after he’d moved to Los Angeles, how she would often fly in to visit, at times bringing his siblings along. And as he thought about it, his blinding hurt slowly faded, giving place to the wonderful realization that every time his dad had reached him on the phone and asked about his day, it hadn’t been to criticize Lucas’s decision or gloat with I told you so’s like he’d feared at the time. Instead, Owen had put himself available to listen to his son like he’d done all his life, and to get back at the boy with his usual amazing fatherly advices.

“I was an idiot, wasn’t it?” Lucas breathed in and out, feeling suffocated by his imminent new understanding of the past. He closed his eyes and let out a heavy sigh, trying his best not to cry. When he opened them again, the boy found Emily standing in the exact same position, looking up at him with expectation in her warm, caring eyes. “You tried to be there for me and I hurt you… I hurt you even though I’d promised I’d never do it…” Lucas’ hands traveled from her arms to then hold her face. He gently caressed her cheeks with his thumbs before whispering very close to her face. “I’m sorry, Emily… I am so sorry.”

Emily closed her eyes with force at the same time she was pulled in to a tight embrace. The contact with his solid chest broke down her defenses completely, causing the girl to involuntarily wrap her arms around his neck too. She felt Lucas’ fingers softly running through her hair as they slowly broke apart.

“I am sorry too,” Emily whispered, her breath getting heavier by the second. She knew too well what it felt like being alone in the world, so she could understand why Lucas, who had grown up in such a loving and caring household, would quickly lose his head if he felt like no one he loved really got him. He had been so strong to stand up for himself and go after what he’d wanted… Even when, inside his head, all voices were telling him to wait. To hold back. Even so, Lucas had done what he always did… The boy had jumped in with both feet because that was who he was… Lucas always gave all of himself to what he loved and Emily had once closely experienced how amazing it felt like to be the object of his loyalty and selfless devotion. Lucas loved wholeheartedly, without any reservations. He put himself out there and took risks. And he’d been the one to teach her to do the same.

“You have nothing to be sorry for,” Lucas brushed his lips against her temple, unable to let go of her. Emily’s fragile figure against his chest reminded him of how strong she really was and he hated himself for having caused her so much pain.

“Oh, I do…” Emily sniffed, gently pulling apart.

Lucas’ eyes met hers and a rush of blood ran through her entire body. But before he could even lower his gaze to her lips, Emily already knew what he was about to do. And in as much as she desperately wanted for it happen, she knew she just couldn’t.

“Luke, we can’t…” Emily reluctantly pushed him away as delicately as she could. “I can’t do this…” she broke eye contact with him to avoid temptation. “I am engaged,” she reminded him.

Lucas held her face between his hands again and gently forced her to look into his eyes again.

“Do you love him?” he asked without hesitation, not making any moves to back off.

Emily frowned at his unexpected question, finding herself unable to respond to that.

“It’s not a difficult question,” he tipped her chin up, looking deeper into her eyes. “Just say yes or no,” Lucas insisted. She could feel his warm breath so close and yet… “Do you love him, yes or no?”

“I…”

Emily realized the moment she opened her mouth to talk that she probably shouldn’t have any doubts about the answer to that question. And just as Lucas intensely stared into her eyes, impatiently waiting for her to reply, the loud sound of the doorbell ringing brought them both back from the past to the present.

The girl noticed in his confused expression that Lucas had been just as surprised as she by the unexpected interference. Lucas frowned heavily, unwillingly breaking apart from her to get to the door. If the pizza guy had come back for whatever reason, interrupting him at exactly that moment, he could swear to God he would…

But as Lucas opened the door, it wasn’t a man he found. Instead, a well known pair of delicate brown eyes stared back at him as the arms of a gorgeous woman unceremoniously wrapped around his neck when she jumped to hug him.

“Luke! I missed you SO much!”

Lucas had barely any time to figure out what was happening before he instinctively looked at Emily, finding her obviously confused expression, and then to the brunette beauty stubbornly clinging to his neck.

“Rachel,” his voice was firm at the same time he tried not to sound as frustrated as he felt. Lucas only had time to swallow hard before asking the next question, not exactly eager to hear an answer. “What are you doing here?”

 -- 

[honorbourne]

▒ ▌❛ CHROM !

The alliance of the two countries, Chon’sin and Ylisse, was blossoming at last! It was a bumpy ride with how the two cultures were different but in the end, with transparency and sincerity, it worked marvelously! Yes, Chrom had some doubts whether he could be a decent representative of Ylisse but all his worries melted away with each passing day, seeing as though his country is now restored to its former glory, all thanks to the Princess who vouched for them to her brother, Prince, Yen’fey.

To tell the truth, if it weren’t for her, the Naga worshipers would have been still fighting to fund a new infrastructure. Aside from the country, the princess not only helped to change it but its ruler as well. Her determination and perseverance to be on top of everything, Chon’sin or Ylisse alike, made him respect her more. Say’ri was the princess model that all princesses should follow suit of; earnest, intelligent, responsible, modest, and oh gods yes, beautiful and witty. He could go on and on about her traits but it ill suits him and her. For him, the more you gush about a person, the more they lose what makes them special. Say’ri does not need Chrom’s flowery words to describe her; her OWN ACTIONS speak more than any poet would ever sing. Words can be empty, as mere air puffs dissolving into the atmosphere but actions... actions serve as an impact for eternity!

She always surprises the exalt with her new and revolutionary ideas to restore what the war had trashed. Chrom often finds himself lost whenever she starts speaking. It’s out of his control! He cannot figure why he would zone out whenever she is around him.

He traced his behavior around her since day one and by the gods! With each passing day, it becomes harder and harder for him to be in the same vicinity as her without acting like a dead. At first, he thought he was being anxious to not cause her trouble after what she had done for him and for Ylisse but on the other hand, why now? His anxiety should have been at the beginning, not at the end! It does not make any goddamn sense! To his chagrin, Frederick was aware of his ‘crisis’ and suggested to take a day or a week off in the summer house all alone without the princess’ presence around him, if only to see how he fares in the meantime.

Chrom did not know how this will help but accepted the offer and thus, he went to the other royal house, alone. The first day was normal. He had to finish some papers that Frederick KINDLY brought them over with him. The second day, he kept fidgeting and looking around as if he misses something but cannot put his finger on it. The third day, he lost his will to do anything but to train and nothing more. The fourth day, he was nagging Frederick with any news from the castle, including even a tiny one to be reported but ‘Frederick the cunning’ reported everything but anything about Say’ri, which made Chrom agitated to know how she is faring (without him.) The fifth day, he returned back to his paperwork but with less enthusiasm to do anything. The sixth day, he kept poking around for more information but alas, he was shot down every time he wanted to know more about the princess. On the seventh day, Frederick brought him a letter written by the Chon’sinese princess. The colors returned back to the exalt’s face as he regained his composure, before hurriedly opening the letter to see a single sentence written:

             Milord, you are very smitten with our guest of honor, Princess of                                            Chon’sin, Say’ri; please admit to it, for your own sanity.

Chrom’s face went pale, denying these feelings. He considered her as A FRIEND! What kind of vulgar ruffian would he be to break his promise to her brother, Yen’fay, of treating her with all dignity and hospitality that he wishes for his own sister to have if she were in her place? HOW CRUDE WAS THIS ASSUMPTION! His face went red after the previous paleness and demanded to not be spoken about this matter EVER AGAIN.

Once he got back to the castle, after his little trip of self-discovery and isolation, the first person to greet his safe arrival was none other than the princess. It made the prince a complete mess. He retired to his room claiming that he is still weary of traveling to sit in his room and recall everything so far.

Was he… missing her? Back in the castle, was he missing Say’ri so much that he often forgot that he is alone and spent an hour looking for her, only to be reminded that this is not the castle and she is elsewhere? Does he like her that much that he cannot see his own foolishness? Frederick is probably – no, he is definitely right.

He’s in love with Say’ri.

Gods above shall smite him if he was not sincere in his thoughts! The woman pretty much holds a special place in his heart. How can she not when she simply came over like a beautiful sakura storm and took everything bad in its wake while leaving the seeds of revival... seeds of life behind? She changed him for the best and who would he find better than her to rule his heart?

The revelation is too much for him that he spent the entire day in his room, gathering his courage to go out and ask her opinion on himself. Regardless of her answer, he’ll respect her and nothing will be changed. Yes, he will be… saddened, but at least he will know what ills him every time he looks at her.

Before supper, he requests her audience out at the balcony – a suitable place, since it is quite chilly to help with his speeding heart pace and the feeling of burning up like the volcano at Valm. Please, Naga! Let it be swift! Either a yes or no! Once she came, he immediately starts speaking before losing his wits.

“It’s MY HONOR to have you all this time, princess. I’ll cut to the chase because...I’m really not a man to flower up my words and I know you do not like the twists and turns, so here I go.” Eyes close momentarily, as he takes a deep breath. Blue irises stare at her with the same determination & sincerity he has shown her when they first met or on every other meeting. Nothing is changed with those eyes; it is him, but a better version thanks to her constant constructive criticism. “I appreciate your existence around me, Say’ri. I’d love it more if you were to permanently stay here, in Ylisse, not as its special guest but as…its QUEEN. I love you and I hope you give my words the time to consider them.”

      Oh, she couldn’t have been any more prouder that her cordial negotiations and advising remarks made way for such expansive progress. Truly, as Chon’sin’s very own princess, Say’ri viewed this to be a major accomplishment! Sure, she may never rule her own country, but having taken over Yen’fay’s original role as ambassador and succeeding at it has proven enough for her.

    Why, to think that even while standing on foreign soil, she would be welcomed here so openly! Though Chon’sin did not lack friendly people by any means, the Ylisseans were still quite the accepting bunch. In fact, it was partly thanks to them that her stay became much more enjoyable - that, and the exalted prince who contributed her longevity had inevitably captured her sights, little by little. Up until now, there had never been an exhilarating thrum which blossomed within her chest or a tender touch of his hand that lingered over her fingers long after they had parted. Truthfully, it had been the first time in a long while where she has fallen for another man this handsome, rather than another elegant baroness from Roseanne.

      It may have been an impolitic feeling, but who was to say Chrom would remain a single bachelor forever or Yen’fay would approve? Furthermore, Say’ri was all but convinced that the prince she longed for oh so dearly grew oblivious to her subtleties. It ensued over such a long period of time, she hadn’t been at all surprised that Frederick would catch on sooner rather than later. At some point too, Say’ri had returned back to Chon’sin, all to no avail.

    Despite the change of pace, neither the paintings she made nor the training she did qualified to her standards. It was simply just... subpar. Quite honestly, Yen’fay had also noticed this while sparring with her and on the fifth day, he came to the conclusion that her business still involved Ylisse. Upon surmising this, he insisted she go  BACK.  Of course, she had reluctantly done so and by the seventh day, returned hours before Chrom had arrived back at the castle.

    At the very least, she was determined to face him and speak frankly about her feelings for once; only, once face to face, it was evident that a change had occurred with the exhausted prince but Say’ri couldn’t quite fathom why. Additionally enough, Frederick was acting more surreptitious than usual. No sooner had Chrom requested her company by the balcony, however, pleasant surprise would immediately overcome her. Even then, she was not convinced so imagine her surprise when the man of her dreams awaited her with such earnest eyes.

    Say’ri couldn’t help but hold her breath, the longer she listened. By the time he finishes, however, a bright red hue would erupt over her cheeks before curled digits arose to half conceal her parting lips.

      “ Z-Zounds, truly?! ” she utters aloud in complete shock. “ Chrom, I... ” Say’ri began and self consciously steps back upon being at a loss for words. “ I have... nary a clue on what to say. My heart soars so strongly for you and delight near ensnares me, I fear I might collapse, ” Say’ri admits, as she entwines her hand along the rail behind her. “ ‘Twas unforeseen you would confess first, b-but what of Yen’fay? Are you not afraid our blessed union would  ATTRACT  his displeasure? ”

@convxction / continued from here ;;